issue2,趁热打铁，我的第二篇issue，请大家修改

will_foreverUID: 193568

昨天傍晚写的第一篇issue，晚上一直在看大家的修改，很有帮助！
请大家再用力拍我这篇，谢谢噢！
2、"Competition is ultimately more beneficial than detrimental to society."

With the development of the society have also risen some controversial issues, of which whether competition is ultimately more beneficial than detrimental to society or not might be a most complex one. The opinions should be weighed in many aspects. Different people have different answers due to their respective point of view. On balance, my view is that competition is ultimately more beneficial than detrimental to society.

As to the realm of the economy, competition makes the products and services of higher quality to the customers at lower prices and drives the overall economic development. Companies, in order to win the competition in business and make more profits, are trying to improve the quality of their products and provide better services. Each time when we enjoy the better services and products, we should contribute it to the fair competition. In doing so, this is a win-win competition that not only we consumers will benefit from it, but also will the companies attain an improvement in their productivity and make more profits. Through the competition, we can place the more eligible person in the right place to produce much more value than those who are not qualified to the job as the latter.

With regard to the politics and society, competition of political party can stimulate the competitors offer better services and make more feasible blueprints to the public. Most important of all, competition can provide a more democratic mode to all the people to choose the country leader freely. There is no denying the fact that just the benign competition makes us elect our leader with genuine ability and learning, which ultimately drives our society forward.

However, just the saying goes, 'every sward has its two sides. 'No doubt that unfair competition or competition with adulterate and illegal means will surely do harm to the society. A case in point is related to the market economy. In the stock market, we should maintain the value-price balance, the unfair competition would make inflation or deflation and the stock market strengthen or fall in a large-scale. Thus it will bring deterioration to the society rather than progress.

All the evidence offered in my above argument confirms my conclusion that competition is ultimately more beneficial than detrimental to society. Confronted with the ineluctable competition in the modern society, what we can do is to create an fair surrounding to form a good ethos for competition. Only in this case, we can benefit more from the competition.

will_foreverUID: 193568

觉得自己有例子，但论证的不大充分，请大虾指点

tracy320cnUID: 186612

昨天傍晚写的第一篇issue，晚上一直在看大家的修改，很有帮助！
请大家再用力拍我这篇，谢谢噢！
2、"Competition is ultimately more beneficial than detrimental to society."

With the development of the society have also risen some controversial issues, of which whether competition is ultimately more beneficial than detrimental to society or not might be a most complex one.[开头有些读不通,我觉得应该是 with...,some controversial...have also appeared  periodically,one of which that whether...] [The opinions should be weighed in many aspects. Different people have different answers due to their respective point of view.似乎两句话是一个意思] On balance, my view is that competition is ultimately more beneficial than detrimental to society.

As to the realm of the economy, competition makes the products and services of higher quality to the customers at lower prices and drives the overall economic development. Companies, in order to win the competition in business and make more profits, are trying to improve the quality of their products and provide better services. Each time when we enjoy the better services and products, we should contribute [attribute]it to the fair competition. In doing so, this is a win-win competition that not only we consumers will benefit from it, but also will the companies attain an improvement in their productivity and make more profits. [Through the competition, we can place the more eligible person in the right place to produce much more value than those who are not qualified to the job as the latter.]为什么？没明白。没有解释竞争与人员安排的关系吧？

With regard to the politics and society, competition of political party can stimulate the competitors offer better services and make more feasible blueprints to the public. Most important of all, competition can provide a more democratic mode to all the people to choose the country leader freely. There is no denying the fact that just the benign competition makes us elect our leader with genuine ability and learning, which ultimately drives our society forward.[我觉得你的例子不够具体，政党间的竞争可以是人民获得更好的政策，举几个例子，像医疗保险、儿童保护法之类的。]

However, just the saying goes, 'every sward has its two sides. 'No doubt that unfair competition or competition with adulterate and illegal means will surely do harm to the society. A case in point is related to the market economy. In the stock market, we should maintain the value-price balance, the unfair competition would make inflation or deflation and the stock market strengthen or fall in a large-scale. Thus it will bring deterioration to the society rather than progress.
[这段的however使你的论点变得折衷了！]

All the evidence offered in my above argument confirms my conclusion that competition is ultimately more beneficial than detrimental to society. Confronted with the ineluctable competition in the modern society, what we can do is to create an fair surrounding to form a good ethos for competition. Only in this case, we can benefit more from the competition.

[写文章前要把提纲列清楚，如果是赞同more beneficial than detrimental，应该在文章结构上好好把握一下，才更有说服力。呵呵，见笑了，说的不对请别介意！]

will_foreverUID: 193568

Through the competition, we can place the more eligible person in the right place to produce much more value than those who are not qualified to the job as the latter. 这句话我想表达的是通过竞争可以把能胜任这个位置的人安排在这个位置上，这样能产生更多的价值

will_foreverUID: 193568

Quote[这段的however使你的论点变得折衷了！]
嗯，将However该成Admittedly，好不好呢？