[请求]issue236 教育类的，写的我自己看了都觉得惭愧

fengboallanUID: 157405

36. Encouraging young people to believe that they can accomplish great things if they try hard enough is both misleading and potentially harmful.【236】
鼓励年轻人们相信只要他们努力就能够完成伟大的事情，这样做不仅仅是在误导而且存在着潜在的危害性。

理想和现实之努力篇


提纲
1 虽然不是每个人都能成就伟大的事业，但是，伟大的事业不是特定某个人或者某类作能够做的。每个人都应该有梦想。
2 年轻人在年轻的时期需要梦想，如果年轻的事情没有梦想。没有理想指引他们努力，那什么时候应该努力呢。
3 完全的煽动和不切实际的信奉努力就能成就伟大的事业确实会对人的心理平衡产生影响，会作出出格的动作
4 理想与现实的统一。


Although not everyone can accomplish great things, But everyone should own their rights to fly their dream and accomplish their dream. As we known, in this world, person who can accomplish great things are limited. There are only a few of person to be recorded in history. Most of us would be forgotten by our posterity. But when babies were born, they are the same between great persons and common persons in the future. They can accomplish things through their hard working. no one can get god's aid without hardworking. They are the same!


Young people should have his dream and belive he can be great one. If a man knew that he must be a common one no matter how hard he tries, would he do any hard working? Like Einstan, when he was 6 years old, did he knew he could find theory of relativity? It is indeed an American dream from common to great through hardworking. Without encouraging and confidence, anyone has already failed. As a point of my view, I belive a young man should have a dream to accomplish great thing in order to encourage himself to make his dream become true. Though, not everyone would become great people, but if you try, then maybe you can , or you never has chance.



Also, unpractical dream without hardworking is harmful. Everyone would like to be Bill Gates, but there is only one real Gates who lead microsoft in the world. Too far and too high aim is unpractical. A young people think he would be Gates everyday, sooner or later he would be crazy. We need to tell young people to keep a good balance between dream and reality. Just as Bill Gates, in 1976, when he founded microsoft in the garage, his dream is not to get billions of dollars but selling a copy of DOS(disk operating system). Later with the help of IBM, he walked from corner to front. Every IBM pc was installed a copy of DOS. From then on, his dream became he could lead the OS software market. No great people 's dreams are unpractical. Their dreams became greater and greater step by step. With unpractical and unrealistic dream and conviction, it is utopian.




If I try to made it that encourage young people to belive that they can accomplish great things without misleading and potentially harmful, I must let young people master the ability of keep balance between reality and dream, and they have used their wisdom to have practical dream. A young man can't have too long detail aim or too high aim. It is enough that he has the confidence of himself. With most his imagination and energy, he should accomplish his realistic aim in the near future. Step by step he can make his aim greater and higher. Bear things which he can't accomplish with his tolerance; try their hard on the things which he can reach with their courage; and, distinguish them with their wisdom.


写的不多，不过500字。说着的，写得自己觉得真的好差劲。大家帮我看看吧/非常感谢，我一定尽自己的努力也为大家修改，只怕水准不够啊

victoriazhizhiUID: 163135

大略瞅了一下

B2 有些不清晰，而且爱因斯坦那句似乎不太沾边
B3例子占的比例多了些

我觉得你的思路还是比较清晰的，但是论证的有些浅，再展开一点。而且B2有些乱。也是个人意见，我也刚开始，一起努力哈！

没给改，今天自己写一篇，给人改一篇，累了要睡觉：）

帮你顶上去，让牛牛们再看看的吧！

表惭愧，发上来大家相互改才进步嘛！我今天写的都要puke了 有空也帮俺看看吧。谢了

fengboallanUID: 157405

ding

指向大海UID: 158737

Although not everyone can accomplish great things, But everyone should own their rights to fly their dream[这里用词谨慎的好放飞理想你确定这么说?第一句话还是保证没任何错误的好] and accomplish their dream. As we known, in this world, person who can accomplish great things are limited. There are only a few of person to be recorded in history. Most of us would be forgotten by our posterity. But when babies were born, they are the same between great persons and common persons in the future. They can accomplish things through their hard working. no one can get god's aid without hardworking. They are the same![感觉喊口号]


Young people should have his dream and belive[believe] he can be great one. If a man knew that he must be a common one no matter how hard he tries, would he do any hard working? Like Einstan, when he was 6 years old, did he knew he could find theory of relativity? It is indeed an American dream from common to great through hardworking. Without encouraging and confidence, anyone has already failed. As a point of my view, I belive[believe] a young man should have a dream to accomplish great thing in order to encourage himself to make his dream become true. Though, not everyone would become great people, but if you try, then maybe you can , or you never has chance.



Also, unpractical dream without hardworking is harmful. Everyone would like to be Bill Gates, but there is only one real Gates who lead microsoft[Microsoft] in the world. Too far and too high[unrealistic and unreasonable] aim is unpractical. A young people think he would be Gates everyday, sooner or later he would be crazy. We need to tell young people to keep a good balance between dream and reality. Just as Bill Gates, in 1976, when he founded microsoft in the garage, his dream is not to get billions of dollars but selling a copy of DOS(disk operating system). Later with the help of IBM, he walked from corner to front[front edge]. Every IBM pc was installed a copy of DOS. From then on, his dream became he could lead the OS software market. No great people 's dreams are unpractical. Their dreams became greater and greater step by step. With unpractical and unrealistic dream and conviction, it is utopian.




If I try to made it that encourage young people to belive[believe我晕你有没有用word检查啊?] that they can accomplish great things without misleading and potentially harmful, I must let young people master the ability of keep balance between reality and dream, and they have used their wisdom to have practical dream. A young man can't have too long detail aim or too high aim. It is enough that he has the confidence of himself. With most his imagination and energy, he should accomplish his realistic aim in the near future. Step by step he can make his aim greater and higher. Bear things which he can't accomplish with his tolerance; try their hard on the things which he can reach with their courage; and, distinguish them with their wisdom.
[题目偶觉得可以挖的深一些,努力和成功的关系:努力了不一定成功但不努力就成功不了.另外不是每个年轻人都要干大事的,也应该引导年轻人从小事做起平凡也没什么不好
终于又改了一篇你的范文了,呜呜,明天我发一篇你一定要改啊!]