argument75 ，写得有点久~~~~~~~~~~

向日葵的孩子UID: 162587

The following appeared in a newsletter about health.
"The proportion of children in the United States who are overweight is greater now than ever before. Obesity rates among children have been increasing since the 1970's, and during that same time period, the proportion of children living in suburbs has increased. Whereas children in rural areas tend to have outdoor active chores and children in cities often walk to school or other places they need to go, children in suburbs are typically driven everywhere. Thus the increase in childhood obesity is probably due mainly to the suburbanization of America and the associated decrease in the opportunities children have for exercise."

正文：
  In this argument, the arguer recommends that what results in the increasing of children obesity rates in the United States is the suburbanization of America and the associated decrease of children’s physical exercise on the evidence that children living in the suburbs take a larger portion of the total children distribution than before, and that they are often driven everywhere. However, these evidences are too weak to make it valid.

  In the reasoning of this newsletter, the arguer unfairly assumes that it is children’s lack of exercise that cause they overweight. Obviously, some other probabilities may be ignored as I mention below: it is likely that more children in this period begin to madly pursue a kind of delicious but high-fat contained food with no regard for the increasing opportunity of putting on weight. In addition, not only bad habits such as engorgement or/and get up late but also some heritability or regional genic factor may also add nasty fat on children’s body. Even if they stick to have physical exercise every day, nevertheless, obesity will inevitably happen nearly all the same, considering that exercise contributes only a little.

  Another important thing to consider is that the arguer fails to provide enough and compelling evidence to demonstrate the decrease of opportunities children have for their exercise just by maintaining that children in suburbs are typically driven to the places they want to go to. For one thing, to think about the enormous and entertainment-filled heaven and earth outside their house, do they just content with burying themselves deep in the sofa and watch TV all day rather than go out to play some interesting games such as run up the near-by hills or even have a swim in the crystal stream with their fellow friends? After all, sport and game are what children naturally pursue. For another, don’t they really walk anywhere instead of taking a bus as the arguer assumed?

  Still another logical fallacy called Post Hoc also weakens this newsletter. No any convincing evidence, however, has ever been taken out to establish the cause-effect relationship between the increasing obesity rates and proportion of children living in suburbs. In fact, neither can the arguer provide any possible data to prove the higher obesity rates among the suburb region than any other regions, nor can he or she conclude that they put on weight practically after they transfer from other regions.

  To sum up, the newsletter leaves several logical flaws and thus the conclusion is undoubtedly problematic. Further research and analysis about other factors which can cause children obesity and whether it exists any region relationship are needed before ultimate conclude can be draw.

向日葵的孩子UID: 162587

偶的第一篇，帮帮忙吧，给偶点信心！

poohUID: 146994

In this argument, the arguer recommends that what results in the increasing of children obesity rates in the United States is the suburbanization of America and the associated decrease of children’s physical exercise on the evidence that children living in the suburbs take a larger portion of the total children distribution than before, and that they are often driven everywhere. However, these evidences evidence不可数are too weak to make it valid.

In the reasoning of this newsletter, the arguer unfairly assumes that it is children’s lack of exercise that cause they overweight. Obviously, some other probabilities may be ignored as I mention below: it is likely that more children in this period begin to madly pursue a kind of delicious but high-fat contained food with no regard for the increasing opportunity of putting on weight. In addition, not only bad habits such as engorgement or/and get up late but also some heritability or regional genic factor may also add nasty fat on children’s body. Even if they stick to have physical exercise every day, nevertheless, obesity will inevitably happen nearly all the same, considering that exercise contributes only a little.关于饮食和遗传因素你可以写得更丰富具体一些。
例如：农村的孩子食物可能营养少，因此肥胖的概率小
郊区一般是富人区，孩子的营养可能过剩，吃高热量食物多



Another important thing to consider is that the arguer fails to provide enough and compelling evidence to demonstrate the decrease of opportunities children have for their exercise just by maintaining that children in suburbs are typically driven to the places they want to go to. For one thing, to think about the enormous and entertainment-filled heaven and earth outside their house, do they just content with burying themselves deep in the sofa and watch TV all day rather than go out to play some interesting games such as run up the near-by hills or even have a swim in the crystal stream with their fellow friends? After all, sport and game are what children naturally pursue. For another, don’t they really walk anywhere instead of taking a bus as the arguer assumed?
你可以假设，郊区的孩子有更大的活动空间，富人区可能有运动club,  而且学校也有体育课和运动指导。总之，越详细越多越好。

Still another logical fallacy called Post Hoc also weakens this newsletter. No any convincing evidence, however, has ever been taken out to establish the cause-effect relationship between the increasing obesity rates and proportion of children living in suburbs. In fact, neither can the arguer provide any possible data to prove the higher obesity rates among the suburb region than any other regions, nor can he or she conclude that they put on weight practically after they transfer from other regions.

To sum up, the newsletter leaves several logical flaws and thus the conclusion is undoubtedly problematic. Further research and analysis about other factors which can cause children obesity and whether it exists any region relationship are needed before ultimate conclude can be draw.

大体把握住了逻辑错误，但是分析展开的不够，要发散思维多列举些scenario

向日葵的孩子UID: 162587

好的，谢谢pooh姐姐！！~~
就是要多举具体的counterexample吧？那说理岂不是就削弱了？
而且我的语言又不行，展开来详说很成问题，总是不能用地道的语言说出我想表达的意思。
个人觉得，说理的语言要好写些，毕竟比较有规律可寻。大家有没有这样的感觉呢？

poohUID: 146994

这些不仅是例子，也是说理的一个组成部分，argument要求你必须把思维发散开，想到多种可能的情况，需要例子的支撑。

这里举例子不同于issue中的例子，这里就是提出种种假设和可能。对于这一点的理解，你再研究范文体会一下。