ARGUMENT147 愿板砖像雪花飞

冥界星灿UID: 184746

147The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.

"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."


When concluding the decline in the video games is prospecting a reversed, the author provides a suspect premise that the sales of games provided lifelike graphics will be on the rise based on a survey seemed to persuasive. Take a close analysis to the article, however, we could find both the survey located and the line of reasoning actually suffer from a serious of critical fallacies, which eventually lead to the untenable of the proposition.

To begin with, the author provides no assurances that the result of the survey provided is statistically reliable. The quantity, the time span and the situation about the random selection of the selection are not mentioned therefore open to doubt.

Further more, even assuming the survey is credible, the premise that a growing sale will appear in games provided lifelike graphics has not a leg to stand on in logic. In the first step, favorite in the lifelike graphics does not mean neglect of other characters (qualities) of a video game such as the image of the dramatis personae, the plot of the story, the effect of the tone, and most importantly, the situation of ease in manipulation. That is, a video with most attractive graphics may be not the one most appealing to its players. In the second step of the reasoning, the attraction of a game cannot assure the sale. When it comes to marketing sale, many factors other than the quality of a product all played vital roles such as the advertisements, the promotions, the price of the product and so forth. As to a lifelike graphics game, moreover, many player may be excluded for the most up-to-date computers the game asking for. As the case stands, this assumption is open to doubt.

Even more, supposed the premise were sound and the game with most attractive graphics is the best salable, the conclusion would still be logically unsound. The company introduced several games of this kind with an extensive advertising campaign directed at the people in 10 to 25 years old, who are most likely to play games. On the one hand, the popularity of a production in market does not insure a company's production of this kind receiving similarly popularity; expect the situation that the company is the unique manufacturer of this kind of production, which is almost impossible in market economy. It is entirely possible the sale of a company's production is declining while the total inclination of this kind of manufacture is soaring. On the other hand, a population most like to play games does not overlap the clients. Perhaps the young people who are most like to play games are not just ones who are most inclined to spent money on them. Or perhaps the middle-aged classes not play games as frequently as youth are just the ones supported the games' sailing. As the analysis delivered above, we could safely draw the conclusion that the process of the reasoning based on the premise is inconvincible.

All that can be conclude by assembling the evidence and reasons provided by the author is that the statement is not eloquent as it stands. To further support the conclusion, the author must deliver convincing studies results and logical reasons in an appropriate manner.

fengboallanUID: 157405

第一次改你的作文阿，认识一下，QQ：fengboallan，以后经常互改我也有一篇在我的签名档里，帮着看看吧


147The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.

"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."


When concluding the decline in the video games is prospecting a reversed, the author provides a suspect premise that the sales of games provided lifelike graphics will be on the rise based on a survey seemed to persuasive. Take a close analysis to the article, however, we could find both the survey located and the line of reasoning actually suffer from a serious of critical fallacies, which eventually lead to the untenable of the proposition.

To begin with, the author provides no assurances that the result of the survey provided is statistically reliable. The quantity, the time span and the situation about the random selection of the selection are not mentioned therefore open to doubt.很流畅，正中要害，能不能举几个反例，或者深入的举出time span and the situation哪不合理？

Further more, even assuming the survey is credible, the premise that a growing sale will appear in games provided lifelike graphics has not a leg to stand on in logic. In the first step, favorite in the lifelike graphics does not mean neglect of other characters (qualities) of a video game such as the image of the dramatis personae, the plot of the story, the effect of the tone, and most importantly, the situation of ease in manipulation. That is, a video with most attractive graphics may be not the one most appealing to its players. In the second step of the reasoning, the attraction of a game cannot assure the sale. When it comes to marketing sale, many factors other than the quality of a product all played vital roles such as the advertisements, the promotions, the price of the product and so forth. As to a lifelike graphics game, moreover, many player may be excluded for the most up-to-date computers the game asking for. As the case stands, this assumption is open to doubt.

Even more, supposed the premise were sound and the game with most attractive graphics is the best salable, the conclusion would still be logically unsound. The company introduced several games of this kind with an extensive advertising campaign directed at the people in 10 to 25 years old, who are most likely to play games. On the one hand, the popularity of a production in market does not insure a company's production of this kind receiving similarly popularity; expect the situation that the company is the unique manufacturer of this kind of production, which is almost impossible in market economy. It is entirely possible the sale of a company's production is declining while the total inclination of this kind of manufacture is soaring. On the other hand, a population most like to play games does not overlap the clients. Perhaps the young people who are most like to play games are not just ones who are most inclined to spent money on them. Or perhaps the middle-aged classes not play games as frequently as youth are just the ones supported the games' sailing. As the analysis delivered above, we could safely draw the conclusion that the process of the reasoning based on the premise is inconvincible.

All that can be conclude by assembling the evidence and reasons provided by the author is that the statement is not eloquent as it stands. To further support the conclusion, the author must deliver convincing studies results and logical reasons in an appropriate

其实我真的很想给你拍拍，但是你的写作水平已经在我之上很多了。我挑不出严格的毛病
到看出了好多有点有几点建议吧：
1对于每一个逻辑上的错误尽量说得明白加明白。说了一个错误还没完，最好，还有能够举出几个反例。例证的怀疑比任何都有说服力
2结尾挑完错了，咱再给深入一下。来个小总结，建议作者应该注意的错误。如果想得到这个结论应该在分析注意哪些


我比较基础，倒很想听听你的argument的写作经验

冥界星灿UID: 184746

感谢楼上的修改！

楼主的意见认真考虑了，BODY1没展开因为只是行文需要，不是主要错误，楼上怎么看？

结尾，我提了建议，艾伦是说写的太不具体了，是吧？

例证？nod， 好方法，谢提醒^_^

其实我写作水平不高，ISSUE总是跑题，主谓不一致，复数不加S，净丢人了，大家都是有目共睹的^_^

这篇写了两个半小时，还改了一下，所以正常一点把

ARGUMENT, 我想除行文思路清晰外，造一个独特的模板很重要吧，我是支持模板的

再次感谢！