- 最后登录
- 2013-3-17
- 在线时间
- 27 小时
- 寄托币
- 470
- 声望
- 0
- 注册时间
- 2004-6-27
- 阅读权限
- 20
- 帖子
- 0
- 精华
- 1
- 积分
- 184
- UID
- 168213
 
- 声望
- 0
- 寄托币
- 470
- 注册时间
- 2004-6-27
- 精华
- 1
- 帖子
- 0
|
Should the greatness of individuals be decided by those who live after them or by their contemporaries? I agree that the greatness decided by their contemporaries is important especially in field of politics and pop music. Nevertheless, I think in the longer term it is descendants who decide their greatness.
To begin with, as we know, time is a litmus(这个词怎么这样怪,词霸里是石蕊的意思,红宝里也找不到,你是不是打错了)which is a best means to decide individuals' greatness.(在TS之后在深入分析一下比你紧接着就出例子要好很多,比方你可以解释一下为什么说时间是检验丰功伟绩的最好方法。) Take the Open door policy made by Deng Xiaoping in China for example, when the policy is firstly put in to(into) practice in 1980s,it suffered myriad of oppositions concerning about the stabilization of the new-born nation. As 20 years passing, China has becoming one of the strongest nation(nations ,典型错误one of 后面是复数名词,要注意) in the world, and the living standard of people has highly improved. Although he is dead now(去掉now), Deng Xiaoping along with his further-view lead Chinese people to fight for the advanced development.(这一句和你要谈的内容并无多大关系) Therefore, without time to exam, the policy might be abolished and eventually submerged in the history.(总结的不好,应该说尽管邓小平的理论在开始受到质疑,但是历史证明他的理论是对的,是不是更好一点)
Moreover, the contemporaries sometimes could not comprehensively decide the greatness of individuals, because of lacking some knowledge. In other word, most individuals' actions(most 和individual 连起来就不对了,你想说大多数伟人的行为和思想是吧,我觉得加上famous 限定一下会更好点,或者用其它词换掉individuals) and thinking are sometimes so unconventional that are beyond the populace's ken. There are thousands of apt examples to illustrate this view. When Einstein's relativity firstly came into the world, there is no one who could understand wholly, let alone to appraise it. Van Gorgh, a creative artist, could not be recognized in his life(去掉) time, while his masterpieces have been praised a few years after his death due to raising understandability of art. Darwin’s Origin of Species ,which considered to be a heterodoxy thinking in his coeval time,have been justified by more and more biological discoveries as well as new theories.
Admittedly, (加上under some circumstance) the greatness of individuals also could be evaluated by their contemporaries. Pop music, one of the tendency (tendencies ,典型错误第二次one of 后面是复数名词,注意拉,注意拉)of the society, is pursuit by thousands of populace. Although there are some factors existing in the songs to pander fans, One(one) who inspires the populace's spirit,stimulates people to development can be recognized. But whether those individuals’ greatness will be remembered by history is open to doubt. In scientific realm, some researches which could benefit people in short term, will also be appraised by the contemporaries. Technologies such as biochemistry, internet, computer, dominates in people's lives, and the inventors' greatness also have been decided. Nevertheless, whether these technologies would be beneficial to the people in the long run can not be decided by contemporaries. We can easily image a terrible world where biochemical weapons are used in the wars at large scale, where internet undermines the communications and morality, where robot takes place the human being.(这一句三个where写的真棒)
To sum up, I think that the greatness of individuals can be decided only by
those who live after them. The appraise made by contemporaries may sometimes be unilateral. With the time passing and knowledge increasing, the greatness can ultimately be decided by those who live after them.
除了小错误,写的挺好的,第二段出了不少错误,你在仔细改改 |
|