issue 10 请高手指教！！！！！！

dragondreamUID: 181943

自己先改过一遍了
------题目------
Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive, because it is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.
------正文------
It is necessary that a government spends enough money to preserve its nation's cultural traditions. However, I cannot agree with the author's opinion that the government should only ensure their major cities to receive enough financial support. In my view, villages and towns may also need the financial support from the government in order to survive.

On one side, it is true that some major cities reflect the tradition of the nation. To get a good understanding of this, we need look no further to the example of the New York city. This city has experienced the independence war, the civil war, the first and second world war, and developed into a world famous large city. There you can get a better understanding of the history of the young nation. Another example is the city of Beijing, which has been the capital of several dynasties. Through a look into the Forbidden City you can have a sense of the life of ancient empires. Such evidences show us the importance of supporting some large cities in order to preserve the traditions.

However, large cities are just part of the cultural traditions. The villages and towns which have not  been influenced by the so-called modernization may sometimes preserve the traditions even better than large cities. Many movies about life in the west America have showed us the beautiful scene there, and the culture in the west America, or you may call it the "spirit of cowboys" tells us their yearning for freedom.
This culture, which can not be found in large cities, is also an important part of the cultural traditions and needs careful preservation.

Considering the two aspects I stated above, it is hard to decide which is more crucial, the major cities or the villages and towns? I find this question depends largely upon various situations of different cities or even different nations. For a nation which has development involving mostly with large cities, the traditions are well preserved in large cites. For instance, Australia has a short history, which mainly involves its large cities. It is true that before colonizers came, it had its own traditions, however, the main traditions of nowadays in Australia mainly come from the large cities that developed because of colonization. And for cities which have a short history it means nothing to provide financial support for the purpose of culture preservation. Cities like Shenzhen in China, which has developed within 20 years, shows no sign of traditions. What's more, when you take a look at cities with the same situation as Shenzhen you would be amazed to find that there are many similarities.

In sum, when facing the problem of cultural preservation, the government should make careful analysis according to various situations. Both large cities and small villages and towns need financial support, which means that a balance is the best solution.

dragondreamUID: 181943

顶一下，不然就沉了

AutoseaUID: 192045

感觉第四段有点偏离论点。你这篇文章的论点是“In my view, villages and towns may also need the financial support from the government in order to survive.”，可第四段却在讨论是否支持应该根据实际情况。而且全文中关于论点的论述只有第二段，显得太单薄了点。

帮忙看看我的Issue 10，谢谢！

Most people agree that a nation must preserve its cultural traditions, but when it comes to how to maintain cultural traditions people have different ideas: some advocate governments should give financial support to their major cities; some argues that government should pay more attention to rural areas. I stand for the second view that governments should ensure their rural areas receive the financial support to thrive so that traditional cultures can be preserved.

Unlike cities rural areas preserve many traditions, because outside force exert much weaker power on changing traditions in rural areas than in major cities. Major cities are frontier of a nation and hence they are greatly influenced by outsiders. Under such circumstance, if the power of the cultural traditions cannot overweigh the outside forces, they are very likely to vanish. For example, Shanghai, a Chinese coastal city, which western cultures influence a lot, has lost many Chinese cultural traditions like ceremonies for harvest and behaves like a western city. In contrast, foreign cultures change rural areas very little, because they are far away from outside world. Consequently, many traditions are preserved very well there. For instance, Chinese village communities have a great deal of traditions which have almost disappeared in Chinese major cities, such as special rituals for ancestor-worship, ancient languages, and augury. Therefore, rural areas, because of their rich sources of cultural traditions, deserve support from governments.

Moreover, rural areas are generally poorer than urban areas. Many facts in the world tell that while the overall economy is developing, the economic gap between rural areas and urban areas is being widened. As a result, a large number of people in rural areas often have no choice but to work in major cities in order to earn a living. When they work in cities, their minds will inevitably be influenced by urban cultures that are different from traditions. They will be very likely to embrace urban ideas and discard traditional mores, if traditions contradict new ideology. In this way, once they come back to their villages, they will be iconoclast against cultural traditions. The case in point is Chinese immigrant workers who move to work in cities and return to their homes in rural areas in Chinese New Year. Under their affects, rural areas in China begin to lose some traditions like very complex traditional weddings, Chinese New Year ceremonies, and traditional funerals. If the trend cannot be inverted in near future, it is very possible that Chinese cultural traditions would be at stake. Thus governments need to lend financial support to rural areas so that they can thrive without suffering economic impacts accompanied with cultural influences from major cities.

Admittedly, government should also be concerned with major cities' role in preserving a nation's traditions. Cultural traditions in major cities confront with great challenges from foreign cultures, so to preserve them requires governments’ support; otherwise major cities would be homogenized. For example, in order to perpetuate traditions, Chinese government provides funds for Peking Opera in Beijing, which is the second largest city in China.

In sum, in order to maintain traditional cultures, governments should ensure that their rural areas receive financial support they need to thrive, although their major cities also play an important role in this hard task.

dragondreamUID: 181943

哦，好象是的，计时写写着写着就不知道写到哪了，是不是应该把论点改一改

dragondreamUID: 181943

Most people agree that a nation must preserve its cultural traditions, but when it comes to how to maintain cultural traditions people have different ideas: some advocate governments should give financial support to their major cities; some argues that government should pay more attention to rural areas. I stand for the second view that governments should ensure their rural areas receive the financial support to thrive so that traditional cultures can be preserved.

Unlike cities rural areas preserve many traditions, because outside force exert much weaker power on changing traditions in rural areas than in major cities. Major cities are frontier of a nation and hence they are greatly influenced by outsiders. Under such circumstance, if the power of the cultural traditions cannot overweigh the outside forces, they are very likely to vanish. 感觉这几句说的是一个意思，是不是可以简洁些For example, Shanghai, a Chinese coastal city, which western cultures influence a lot, has lost many Chinese cultural traditions like ceremonies for harvest and behaves like a western city. In contrast, foreign cultures change rural areas very little, because they are far away from outside world. Consequently, many traditions are preserved very well there. For instance, Chinese village communities have a great deal of traditions which have almost disappeared in Chinese major cities, such as special rituals for ancestor-worship, ancient languages, and augury. Therefore, rural areas, because of their rich sources of cultural traditions, deserve support from governments.

Moreover, rural areas are generally poorer than urban areas. Many facts in the world tell that while the overall economy is developing, the economic gap between rural areas and urban areas is being widened. As a result, a large number of people in rural areas often have no choice but to work in major cities in order to earn a living. When they work in cities, their minds will inevitably be influenced by urban cultures that are different from traditions. They will be very likely to embrace urban ideas and discard traditional mores, if traditions contradict new ideology. In this way, once they come back to their villages, they will be iconoclast against cultural traditions. The case in point is Chinese immigrant workers who move to work in cities and return to their homes in rural areas in Chinese New Year. Under their affects, rural areas in China begin to lose some traditions like very complex traditional weddings, Chinese New Year ceremonies, and traditional funerals.好像这些没必要保护吧，而且就算政府给了钱也没办法保护阿，使观念在变，所以我感觉没什么说服力 If the trend cannot be inverted in near future, it is very possible that Chinese cultural traditions would be at stake. Thus governments need to lend financial support to rural areas so that they can thrive without suffering economic impacts accompanied with cultural influences from major cities.

Admittedly, government should also be concerned with major cities' role in preserving a nation's traditions. Cultural traditions in major cities confront with great challenges from foreign cultures, so to preserve them requires governments’ support; otherwise major cities would be homogenized. For example, in order to perpetuate traditions, Chinese government provides funds for Peking Opera in Beijing, which is the second largest city in China.

In sum, in order to maintain traditional cultures, governments should ensure that their rural areas receive financial support they need to thrive, although their major cities also play an important role in this hard task.

感觉层次挺清晰的，语法和词汇都比我好，没得改了

AutoseaUID: 192045

谢谢！
我想不起来要写什么的时候，就不自觉地会凑字数，唉，28号就要考了。你说的那些例子确实不是太好，应该改成剪纸，年画，对联等等，但我不知道改怎么表达。

你把你的作文论点重新明确一下，理由再梳理一下。我感觉先用中文把逻辑想明白，然后再下笔，会更好。尽管可能会浪费两三分钟时间，但可以保证一定的质量。

dragondreamUID: 181943

我有空了就在改改吧，多谢了

加油加油