argument143,拍拍看，必回！

bluefiaryUID: 184899

Argument143  第12篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
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作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：31分9秒     365 words
从2005年2月18日16时26分到2005年2月18日16时31分
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The following appeared as a letter to the editor of a national newspaper.
'Your recent article on corporate downsizing* in the United States is misleading. The article gives the mistaken impression that many competent workers who lost jobs as a result of downsizing face serious economic hardship, often for years, before finding other suitable employment. But this impression is contradicted by a recent report on the United States economy, which found that since 1992 far more jobs have been created than have been eliminated. The report also demonstrates that many of those who lost their jobs have found new employment. Two-thirds of the newly created jobs have been in industries that tend to pay above-average wages, and the vast majority of these jobs are full-time.'
*Downsizing is the process in which corporations deliberately reduce the number of their employees.
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In this letter, the author objects that one recent article of a national newspaper about corporate downsizing in the United States is misleading, then he or she cites that since 1992 more jobs have been created and two-thirds of newly created jobs have been in industries tend to pay above-average wages, the vast majority of those jobs are full-time. As far as I am concerned, the author fails to consider some crucial factors that would undermine his or her conclusion greatly.

One reason the author provides to object the article is based on a recent report on the United States economy. The report suggests that since 1992 far more jobs have been established for the workers, and many of those who lost their jobs have found new employment. However, we do not know whether these created jobs are suitable for those competent workers, or they need these workers. It is possible that those jobs only need workers that are necessarily skilled. Even most of those jobs fit the workers well to some extent, we still cannot sure that these workers are not experiencing serious economic hardship. Since these workers are most competent workers, they may ask high salaries to support their family. Those created jobs may only offer the conditions that satisfy the fundamental living. Therefore, those workers would suffer an economic hardship before finding other suitable employment.

In addition, the author could come to his conclusion based on the assumptions below. Firstly, the newly created jobs in industries should also mostly be suitable to those workers.  Secondly, they can get employment that paying them above-average wages.  Nevertheless, the newly jobs are only two-thirds offered to those workers, there still one-third workers are under unemployment. Above all, not all jobs would be willing to pay their above-average wages, that would cause most of the workers in a hardship of financial state, no matter whether they are full-time or not.

Finally, though there are so many jobs created for workers, yet the society is advancing, more and more people would compete for these workers as a result of corporate downsizing. Therefore, we cannot ensure that most of these workers could get employment before they undertaking the economic hardship.

To sum up, the conclusion the author comes from the evidence is not convincing. To strengthen it, he or she needs to prove whether these created jobs are really suitable for those workers. Furthermore, he or she needs to investigate the situation of current job market in order to better support his conclusion.

zhoulin00001UID: 189304

先占座了
呵呵

zhoulin00001UID: 189304

In this letter, the author objects that one recent article of a national newspaper about corporate downsizing in the United States is misleading, then he or she cites that since 1992 more jobs have been created and two-thirds of newly created jobs have been in industries tend to pay above-average wages, the vast majority of those jobs are full-time. As far as I am concerned, the author fails to consider some crucial factors that would undermine his or her conclusion greatly.

One reason the author provides to object the article is based on a recent report on the United States economy. The report suggests that since 1992 far more jobs have been established for the workers, and many of those who lost their jobs have found new employment. However, we do not know whether these created jobs are suitable for those competent workers, or they need these workers. It is possible that those jobs only need workers that are necessarily skilled. Even most of those jobs fit the workers well to some extent, we still cannot sure that these workers are not experiencing serious economic hardship. Since these workers are most competent workers, they may ask high salaries to support their family. Those created jobs may only offer the conditions that satisfy the fundamental living？原文说Two-thirds of the newly created jobs have been in industries that tend to pay above-average wages. Therefore, those workers would suffer an economic hardship before finding other suitable employment.

In addition, the author could come to his conclusion based on the assumptions below. Firstly, the newly created jobs in industries should also mostly be suitable to those workers. Secondly, they can get employment that paying them above-average wages. Nevertheless, the newly jobs are only two-thirds offered to those workers, there still one-third workers are under unemployment. Above all, not all jobs would be willing to pay their above-average wages, that would cause most of the workers in a hardship of financial state, no matter whether they are full-time or not.

Finally, though there are so many jobs created for workers, yet the society is advancing, more and more people would compete for these workers as a result of corporate downsizing. Therefore, we cannot ensure that most of these workers could get employment before they undertaking the economic hardship.有点勉强

To sum up, the conclusion the author comes from the evidence is not convincing. To strengthen it, he or she needs to prove whether these created jobs are really suitable for those workers. Furthermore, he or she needs to investigate the situation of current job market in order to better support his conclusion.
看的出来，你的语言还是很有水平的，但是逻辑好乱，而且很多错误都是无关紧要的，楼主是文科生吗？建议好好分析一下原文的错误