Argument 38 感冒与鱼 第三篇，写时限时，改了很久 有空帮我看看好么？

beatleslwqUID: 178933

题目
38.The following memo appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.



"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Clearly, eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds. Since colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of Ichthaid, a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil, as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism."



我们注意到一种保证可以显著减少学校和工作岗位的缺席的革新疗法。一项研究报告说在附近的East

Meria，鱼的消费量很高，那里的人们每年因为治感冒而去看医生的次数只有一或两次。显然，吃较大量的鱼可以预防感冒。由于感冒是学校和单位缺席的最常见原因，我们建议每天服用Ichthaid，一种从鱼油中提炼的营养物质，作为预防感冒和减少缺席率的有效措施。


正文
This argument, which is seemingly sound at the first glance, suffers from several critical fallacies. Not only does the arguer cite an unreliable study to support his groundless assumption that fish can actually cure colds, but also alleges that ICH can have the same effect without providing any clues. Another aspect ignored is that there are many alternative causes for the absenteeism other than getting cold. I will analyze the faults making this argument lack credibility in turn.

Firstly, although the arguer attempts to use the study in EM to support that consuming large amount of fish can prevent colds, there are quite a lot of possibilities that the author neglects making both the study and the assumption invalid. The study cited here is too vague to be informative. Where is the study conducted in EM? When is it conducted? Who are the subjects? What about the age and gender distribution of the subjects? Unless all these questions are answered, the result of the study will remain suspectable. Imagining that if the survey is conducted near a gym or in a college, since the subjects may generally exercise more frequently or younger than average people, they are likely to be more healthy and therefore suffer less colds. It is also possible that the habitants in EM prefer treating colds at home with OTC medicine to visiting doctors, then the result about the frequency of getting cold is worthless. Based on the unreliable study, the conclusion that the author draws is not necessarily true.

In addition, even granted that eating fish does prevent colds in certain way, that doesn't ensure that Ich has the same function as well. However, the author takes it for granted. If the ICH doesn't contain the very substance that prevents colds, or though the ICH contains the substance, some properties of this substance are shifted during the producing process, the daily intake of ICH will be ineffective to prevent colds. What is also ignored in this article is the potential side effects of ICH everyday on human beings. If they are masked by this misleading conclusion, the result will be terrible.

Even if the ICH could, which is quite doubtful, prevent colds as effective as fish, the less amount of people suffering colds doesn’t necessarily result in less absenteeism as the author alleges. Since there are many reasons other than colds preventing people from going study or work that the arguer overlooks, including not only other illness like stomachaches and headaches but also having people to visit or going to attend weddings or funerals. And if people just use being cold as a quite efficient excuse to be absent, ICH will have nothing to do with lowering absenteeism since those people are not ill at all.

In conclusion, this argument is not well reasoned. Without being improved in the factors analyzed above, it is more qualified to be a vulgar advertisement than a careful analyzed report.

beatleslwqUID: 178933

自己UP一下

MadheroUID: 125272

题目
38.The following memo appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.



"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Clearly, eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds. Since colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of Ichthaid, a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil, as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism."



我们注意到一种保证可以显著减少学校和工作岗位的缺席的革新疗法。一项研究报告说在附近的East

Meria，鱼的消费量很高，那里的人们每年因为治感冒而去看医生的次数只有一或两次。显然，吃较大量的鱼可以预防感冒。由于感冒是学校和单位缺席的最常见原因，我们建议每天服用Ichthaid，一种从鱼油中提炼的营养物质，作为预防感冒和减少缺席率的有效措施。


正文
This argument, which is seemingly sound at the first glance, suffers from several critical fallacies. Not only does the arguer cites an unreliable study to support his groundless assumption that fish can actually cure colds, but also alleges that ICH can have the same effect without providing any clues. Another aspect ignored is that there are many alternative causes for the absenteeism other than getting cold. I will analyze the faults making this argument lack credibility in turn.总结得很好，问一下你是先写主题段的TS还是先写出开头的总结呢？我在总结这些问题上还有一些障碍

Firstly, although the arguer attempts to use the study in EM to support that consuming large amount of fish can prevent colds, there are quite a lot of possibilities that the author neglects making both the study and the assumption invalid. The study cited here is too vague to be informative. Where is the study conducted in EM? When is it conducted? Who are the subjects? What about the age and gender distribution of the subjects? 提出一连串问题，感觉很有力Unless all these questions are answered, the result of the study will remain suspectable. Imagining that if the survey is conducted near a gym or in a college, since the subjects may generally exercise more frequently or younger than average people, they are likely to be more healthy and therefore suffer less colds.具体扩展刚才提的问题 It is also possible that the habitants in EM prefer treating colds at home with OTC medicine to visiting doctors, then the result about the frequency of getting cold is worthless. Based on the unreliable study, the conclusion that the author draws is not necessarily true.我认为还可以提出Em地区和本地也许有不可比性，也许是由于地区的特点导致感冒少而不是鱼

In addition, even granted that eating fish does prevent colds in certain way, that doesn't ensure that Ich has the same function as well. However, the author takes it for我觉得用as较好 granted. If the ICH doesn't contain the very substance that prevents colds, or though the ICH contains the substance, some properties of this substance are shifted during the producing process, the daily intake of ICH will be ineffective to prevent colds. What is also ignored in this article is the potential side effects {of ICH everyday on human beings}of the use of Ich on human everyday. If they are masked by this misleading conclusion, the result will be terrible.

Even if the ICH could, which is quite doubtful, prevent colds as effective as fish, the less amount of people suffering colds doesn’t necessarily result in less absenteeism as the author alleges.让步来承接，我也喜欢这样 Since there are many reasons other than colds preventing people from going study or work that the arguer overlooks, including not only other illness like stomachaches and headaches but also having people to visit or going to attend weddings or funerals. 由于题目中说感冒是最常见理由，所以后面提出的这是真的理由还是借口更有力，而上面其他理由的提出感觉不能很好的反驳题目And if people just use being cold as a quite efficient excuse to be absent, ICH will have nothing to do with lowering absenteeism since those people are not ill at all.

In conclusion, this argument is not well reasoned. Without being improved in the factors analyzed above, it is more qualified to be a vulgar advertisement than a careful analyzed report.结尾这句话用得好
总的来说，这篇argu我感觉很不错，用词比我准确多了，结构和衔接也不错。另外问一下，考试的时候可以写缩写么？或者在第一次出现的时候注明一下缩写是不是就行了？抄那些不认识的词我总是抄错。

beatleslwqUID: 178933

回MAD兄，我一般是先想好问题，然后分几点归纳一下，就开始写开头了，
你说的我倒数第二段的问题我也深有体会，主要是当时写时写到那里思路有些中断，有点凑字数的嫌疑，是应该好好在把感冒当理由那里发展一下的，缩写的问题我这篇没有太注意，应该是开头写一个全程，后面用括号写缩写，以后就都可以用缩写代替了吧？ 再次感谢您的斧正 以后有时间多拍我哈！