issue7 又迟到了，摄象机与书面材料，请拍必回！

Mars3000UID: 198477

The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records.

[B]提纲：尽管摄像机在目前和不远的将来都将发挥重要的作用，但书面纪录仍然是不可或缺的。
B1，摄象机比起书面记录更具客观性和说服力 感染力
b1  摄象机的记录更客观
b2  摄象机的记录更有可信度和感染力
C1  书面材料相对于摄象机的优势在于编者的抽象概括能力，能够令人形成对所发生的事情形成一个总体印象。
结论：二者都是必不可少的的记录工具，所以很难说哪一个更重要。[/B]

In an era with technology developing by leaps and bounds, it has become possible to record whatever occurs in our society by pictures and sounds, from the significant event of a country, to the everyday lives of citizens. And thus, the video camera ,an appliance providing a combination of continuous figures and sounds, gradually appears an important form of documentation. As far as I am concerned, although this new equipment has played and, without doubt, will keep playing an important role in documentation in following several decades than before, written records, being always a main means of documentation, are still indispensable.

On one hand, video camera ,which can provide an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life, is more objective and persuasive compared with written records. In the first place, by really reflecting the world people live in, the documentation of video camera is objective and not influenced by subjective factors of humans. Hardly, however, can written records rule out the impression of these factors, since nearly every recorder has inclination, interests, knowledge background, and the value of concept of one's own, which could effect his or her comprehension of what is recorded, and is finally reflected in their documentation. When it comes to depicting the massacre in Nangjing, an extreme hurt to all Chinese, what is recorded by many Japanese researchers varies with those of China, for different inclination ,being involved in the national interests of themselves, etc. Though incredible Japanese written records admit the fact, much more try to less evaluate the damage of this slaughter and reject the crime Japanese soldiers commited on Chinese. However, those of china mainly focus the brutal behaviors on Japanese soldiers, and emphasize the massive hurts of lives and fortune of citizens, appearing a bloody picture. If a video camera recorded everything at that time, there would be no controversy but a solo version of that history, the truth. Obviously this properly points out where the object of documentation by video camera lies in.

In the second place, video camera is more persuasive for its object as well as its vivid pictures and authentic sounds. For one thing, it has been illustrate d that new form of documentation is more likely to demonstrate the fact without anyone's opinions, so unquestionably is it more convincing. For example, as a proof in the court, a tape about the whole process of robbing appears more persuasive in testifying the crime of the robber than any other written records, for showing the jury and the judge what happened then authentically without any subjective factors involved in. For the other, with real sounds and mobile colorful pictures, it is more acceptable to the public. When recording something around us, especially those with crucial meanings, such as the open ceremony of Olimpics or celebration of the nation's day, documentation made by video camera is more impressive for its pictures and sounds provide nearly each detail of the event. Written records, by contrast, appears much pale with only characters and words. It is explicit that, in some detailed spheres, video records is better for its accuracy and convince.

On the other hand, nevertheless, those of video cameras is inferior to written records, for lack in abstracting the information. Recording everything that occurs brings objective materials, whereas in most cases, people need a more general impression of what happened, which asks for the abstraction of a large amount of information. As an authority in my university, professor Liu, the head of journalism, once said(and I paraphrased),"Simply providing all kinds of information, both useful and useless, in spite of object, is far less competent. In other words, an excellent form of documentation should bear such characteristics, carrying out an abstract, from which the public can form a general impression, as well as obtain the details they care for from this abstract, rather than leaving this task to readers." From this point of view, with the generalization of recorders on contemporary life, written records is superior to its counterpart in giving an outline of some complicated events, and thus brings audiences great convenience. The later, on the contrary, focuses much on details, thereby leading to quite a few confuses and a waste of time and energy of audiences for without a clear guidance.

In sum, from what has been stated above, we can draw a conclusion that both written records and those made by video cameras have advantages of their own. As both are indispensable tools of documentation, it is hard to say any of them more important. Maybe one day, with the further development of technology, video camera will bear the merits of written records, and finally become dominating, but at least, the elements are not prepared right now

深谷幽兰UID: 196550

嗯，占一个

Mars3000UID: 198477

呵呵
幽兰小姐出手好快啊
谢了 :)
我拍你哪个呢？
要不也同主题吧

深谷幽兰UID: 196550

最初由 Mars3000 发布
[B]呵呵
幽兰小姐出手好快啊
谢了 :)
我拍你哪个呢？
要不也同主题吧 [/B]

呵呵，都可以啦！
期待ing~~~~~~

youifUID: 200073

这么多字, 限时了吗?

Japan例子好吗, 是否敏感点

还有在word 中到处redlines

深谷幽兰UID: 196550

No.1 issue7 又迟到了，摄象机与书面材料，请拍必回！
The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records.

提纲：尽管摄像机在目前和不远的将来都将发挥重要的作用，但书面纪录仍然是不可或缺的。
B1，摄象机比起书面记录更具客观性和说服力 感染力
b1 摄象机的记录更客观
b2 摄象机的记录更有可信度和感染力
C1 书面材料相对于摄象机的优势在于编者的抽象概括能力，能够令人形成对所发生的事情形成一个总体印象。[U]也有人写了记录心理历程等[/U]
结论：二者都是必不可少的的记录工具，所以很难说哪一个更重要。 [U]提纲还8错[/U] !

In an era with technology developing by leaps and bounds,it has become possible to record whatever occurs in our society by pictures and sounds,from the significant event of a contry[U]笔误[/U] ！,to the everyday lives of citizens. And thus, the video camera ,an appliance providing a combination of continuous figurs and sounds,gradually appears an important form of documentation.As far as I am concerned,althouth this new equipment has played and,without doubt,will keep playing an important role in documentation in following several decades than before,written records,being always a main means of documentation,are still indispensable.

On one hand,video camera ,which can provide an accurate and convicing record of contemporary life,is more objective and persuasive compared with written records.In the first place,by really reflecting the world people live in,the documentation of video camra is objective and not influenced by subjective factors of humans [U]还是觉得会受一些主观因素影响，如镜头的选取——就象以前某些人所抱怨的，西方媒体只找中国的阴暗面拍，尽管有时“阴暗面”是事实，但拍摄的视角不同，传达的观点也会不一样。唉，偶是越想越糊涂，很难写的！[/U]  :( . Hardly,however,can written records rule out the impression of these factors,since nearly every recorder has inclination,interests,knowlege background,and the value of concept of one's own,which could effect his or her comprehension of what is recorded,and is finally reflected in their documentation.When it comes to dipicting the massacre in Nangjing,an extreme hurt to all Chinese,what is recorded by many Japnese researchers varies with those of China,for different inclination,being involved in the national interests of themselves,etc.Though incredible Japnese written records admit the fact,much more try to less evaluate the damage of this slaughter and reject the crime Japanese soldiers commited on Chinese.However,those of china mainly focus the brutal behaviors on Japnese soldiers,and emphasize the massive hurts of lives and fortune of citizens,appearing a bloody picture.If a video camera recorded everything at that time,there would be no controversy but a solo version of that history,the truth.Obviously this properly points out where the object of documentation by video camera lies in.[U]例子8错，论述得也8错[/U] ！

In the second place,video camra is more persuasive for its object as well as its vivid pictures and authetic [U]authentic[/U] sounds. For one thing,it has been illustratd that new form of documentation is more likely to demonstrate the fact without anyone's opinions,so unquestionably is it more convicing. For example, as a proof in the court,a tape about the whole process of robbing appears more persuasive in testifying the crime of the robber than any other wrritten records,for showing the jury and the judge what happened then authetically without any subjective factors involved in.For the other,with real sounds and mobile colorful pictures,it is more acceptable to the public.When recording something around us,esspecially those with crucial meanings,such as the open ceremony of Olimpics or celebration of the nation's day,documetation made by video camera is more impressive for its pictures and sounds provide nearlly each detail of the envent. [U]嗯，这个例子也8错[/U] ！ Written records,by contrast,appears much pale with only characters and words.It is explicit that,in some detailed sphers[U]又是个笔误[/U] 。,video records is better for its accuracy and convince.

On the other hand,nevertheless,those of video cameras is inferior to written records,for lack in abstacting the information.Recording everyting that occurs brings objective materials,whereas in most cases,people need a more general impression of what happened,which asks for the abstraction of a large amount of information.As an authority in my university,professor Liu, the head of journalism, once said(and I paraphrased),"Simply providing all kinds of information,both usefull and useless,in spite of object,is far less competent.In other words, an excellent form of documentation should bear such characteristics,carrying out an abstract,from which the public can form a general impression,as well as obtain the details they care for from this abstact,rather than leaving this task to readers."From this point of view,with the generalization of recorders on contemporary life,written records is superior to its counterpart in giving an outline of some complicated events,and thus brings audiences great convenience.The later,on the contrary,focuses much on details,thereby leading to quite a few confuses and a waste of time and energy of audiences for without a clear guidance. [U]这个观点新颖。[/U]

In sum,from what has been stated above,we can draw a conlusion that both written records and those made by video cameras have advantages of their own. As both are indispensable tools of documentation,it is hard to say any of them more important.Maybe one day,with the further development of technology,video camera will bear the merits of written records,and finally become dominating,but at least,the elements are not prepared right now.[U]结尾比偶不知要强多少了，学习！[/U]  :p

[U]感觉写得较流畅，论述也有力度，值得学习！加油！[/U]

summerwuUID: 194933

写了这么多，好有压力啊

sxleeUID: 200505

In an era with technology developing by leaps and bounds, it has become possible to record whatever occurs in our society by pictures and sounds,f rom the significant event of a contry, to the everyday lives of citizens. And thus, the video camera ,an appliance providing a combination of continuous figurs and sounds, gradually appears an important form of documentation. As far as I am concerned, althouth this new equipment has played and, without doubt, will keep playing an important role in documentation in following several decades than[前面没比较这儿怎么用了 than] before, written records, being always a main means of documentation, are still indispensable.

On [the]one hand, video camera ,which can provide an accurate and [convincing] record of contemporary life, is more objective and persuasive compared with written records. In the first place, by really reflecting the world people live in, the documentation of video camera is objective and not influenced by subjective factors of humans. Hardly, however, can written records rule out the impression of these factors, since nearly every recorder has inclination, interests, knowledge background, and the value of concept of one's own, which could effect his or her comprehension of what is recorded, and is finally reflected in their documentation.[建议不用这么长的句子，很容易出问题的，至少every, one’s his or her变的不好] When it comes to depicting[动词原形] the massacre in Nangjing, an extreme hurt to all Chinese, what is recorded by many Japnese researchers varies with those of China, for different inclination, being involved in the national interests of them-selves, etc. Though incredible Japnese written records admit the fact, much more try to less evaluate the damage of this slaughter and reject the crime Japanese soldiers committed on Chinese. However, those of China mainly focus the brutal behaviors on Japnese soldiers, and emphasize the massive hurts of lives and fortune of citizens, appearing a bloody picture. If a video camera recorded everything at that time, there would be no controversy but a solo version of that history, the truth. Obviously this properly points out where the object of documentation by video camera lies in.

In the second place, video camera is more persuasive for its object as well as its vivid pictures and authentic sounds. For one thing, it has been illustrated that new form of documentation is more likely to demonstrate the fact without anyone's opinions, so unquestionably is it more convincing. For example, as a proof in the court, a tape about the whole process of robbing appears more persuasive in testifying the crime of the robber than any other wr[r]itten records, for showing the jury and the judge what happened then authentically without any subjective factors involved in. For the other, with real sounds and mobile colorful pictures, it is more acceptable to the public. When recording something around us, especially those with crucial meanings, such as the open ceremony of Olympics or celebration of the nation's day, documentation made by video camera is more impressive for its pictures and sounds provide nearly each detail of the e[n]vent. Written records, by contrast, appear much pale with only characters and words. It is explicit that, in some detailed sphers, video records [is] better for its accuracy and convince.

On the other hand, nevertheless, those of video cameras [is] inferior to written records, for lack[ing] in abstracting the information. Recording everything that occurs brings objective materials, whereas in most cases, people need a more general impression of what happened, which asks for the abstraction of a large amount of information. As an authority in my university, professor Liu, the head of journalism, once said(and I paraphrased),"Simply providing all kinds of information, both usefull and useless, in spite of object, is far less competent. In other words, an excellent form of documentation should bear such characteristics, carrying out an abstract, from which the public can form a general impression, as well as obtain the details they care for from this abstract, rather than leaving this task to readers. "From this point of view, with the generalization of recorders on contemporary life, written records [is] superior to its counterpart in giving an outline of some complicated events, and thus brings audiences great convenience. The later, on the contrary, focuses much on details, thereby leading to quite a few confuses and a waste of time and energy of audiences for without a clear guidance.

In sum, from what has been stated above, we can draw a conclusion that both written records and those made by video cameras have advantages of their own. As both are indispensable tools of documentation, it is hard to say [any][which] of them [is] more important [than the other]. Maybe one day, with the further development of technology, video camera will bear the merits of written records, and finally become dominating, but at least, the elements are not prepared right now.

[建议：
1、        不用这么多长句，有些读起来很费劲，也不准确。AW考的是逻辑，最重要的不是语言，当然语言好是更有优势；
2、        发之前现在 word的里改一下，很多拼写错误让别人改起来很难受的；
3、        基本语法：谓语要用准确了                 说的不一定对，互相学习啊！！
欢迎拍我的！！

Mars3000UID: 198477

[B]这么多字, 限时了吗?

Japan例子好吗, 是否敏感点

还有在word 中到处redlines [/B]  

呵呵，被youif兄看出来了。  :)  
这是后来改过的；限时写的时候比这还滥，B1和B2是在一起的，各个分论点的论证也很不充分，自己很不满意，就改成这样了。
至于JAPAN的例子我也拿不准，但写的时候自己还是尽量客观的来介绍这个事例的。
一片红线我想可能是两个原因：一是笔误不少；二是可能是WORD中标点后没空格的缘故。

[B]TO 深谷幽兰： [/B]  

你总是给我戴高帽，多提批评意见啊，就像我给你改的那样。 :mad:   
呵呵，下次要记着了。 :)

Mars3000UID: 198477

[B]To sxlee:[/B]

[B]建议：
1、 不用这么多长句，有些读起来很费劲，也不准确。AW考的是逻辑，最重要的不是语言，当然语言好是更有优势；[/B]
仔细看了一下，长句子好象还真的有点多 :)

[B]2、 发之前现在 word的里改一下，很多拼写错误让别人改起来很难受的；[/B]
这个意见我也向别人提过，没想到反而成了自己的主要问题了。上次被猫猫批评后我已经尽力在改了，看来还是个严重的问题。至于为什么没先在WORD上改过在发上来，是因为我系统的OFFICE出问题了，所以这几天一直都用不了。

[B]3、 基本语法：谓语要用准确了 说的不一定对，互相学习啊！！[/B]
呵呵，感觉这方面我还不是太弱啊。

对下面的几个问题有些疑义

[B]When it comes to depicting[动词原形] the massacre in Nangjing[/B]
感觉这里to似乎是介词，所以应该跟动名词

[B]for lack[ing] in [/B]  
这里我想将lack做名词用

[B]it is hard to say [any][which] of them [is] more important [than the other].
it is hard to say any of them more important[/B]
这个语法上似乎没有问题啊，而且感觉也不必在和另一个比较，因为意义已经比较明显了。

非常感谢，互相学习吧。

深谷幽兰UID: 196550

最初由 Mars3000 发布
[B]TO 深谷幽兰：

你总是给我戴高帽，多提批评意见啊，就像我给你改的那样。  
呵呵，下次要记着了。 [/B]

没有呀,说的是实话!
一起加油呀!

sxleeUID: 200505

To Mars3000

3、 基本语法：谓语要用准确了 说的不一定对，互相学习啊！！
呵呵，感觉这方面我还不是太弱啊。

[我说的是有些地方你的is 和 are 总用错，还有第三人称单数]

  
it is hard to say any of them more important
这个语法上似乎没有问题啊，而且感觉也不必在和另一个比较，因为意义已经比较明显了。
[这个对吗，请教啊！！--很难说哪一个重要--是不是chinglish啊，大家讨论讨论！！]

我觉得要拍就很拍，这样才能有进步啊！Admittedly, 拍过火了，或是故意拍错也不好！！哈哈