Issue2 请大家扔砖头.谢谢

IloveMorganUID: 2209413

TOPIC:Competition is utimately more benefical than detrimental to our society

   In my point of view,the author overstates the function of competition.An old phrase says that"every coins have two different sides".It is really hard to asserts that "competition is more benefical thant detrimental to society or not.

   First,let us see the benefical side of competition.Individual compose society,the rival between individuals make the society more properous.For instance,in the business area of competition at supermarkets,it givers varies of good service and rationable price in order to attract people to consume and make their profits.A good example is walrmart,the best supermarket and retailer corporation in the USA even though in the world which through competition ,ways of good service inexpensive price .make it to become the best .It like a catalyst to all supermarkets which they all improved their price quality and service to attract people. The consequence is people buy well  quality goods at rationable price ,to make their needs,improved their life quality.From this point of view.competition is more benefical to our society than detriments.

  Nontheless,competition bring us not only the positive effect also has negative effect.Cometitionmakes individual try best to make their own benefits.Because of that some illegal and immoral gradually appears .such as smuggle,unfair-employment in some companys,monopoly.Is it benefical to our society,certainly not.It is harmful to our survival environment.For instance,petroleum or we can say crude oil price problem.Up to now its price becoming more and more expensive with that some company use smuggle oil to sell in order to make the better benefits than others.This  is a examplary to show the opposite side of competition.Actually speaking,competition is not all benefical .

  But ,if we can organize ourmanagement、regulation to competition successfully,direct the harmful competition and diminish the visciousones .Competition will be ultimately more benefical than detrimental to our society.

  In sum ,everything has its own positive and negative effect,if we manage the negative side rightly,it will serve us more positive ones than the opposite.

小马家家UID: 2247022

Issue2 请大家扔砖头.谢谢

TOPIC:Competition is utimately more benefical than detrimental to our society

   In my point of view,the author overstates the function of competition.An old phrase says that"every coins have two different sides".It is really hard to asserts that "competition is more benefical thant detrimental to society or not.(什么意思....?)
第一段最简洁的套路是 背景+论者的观点+自己的观点(可以先做让步,再提出自己的观点)

   First,let us see the benefical side of competition. Individual compose society,the(去掉) rival(rivalry) between individuals make the society more properous(句子修改下,一句话只能一个主语一个谓语吧,逗号只是一个停顿).For instance,in the business area of competition at supermarkets(啥意思),it givers (?)varies of good service and rationable price in order to attract people to consume and
make their profits. A good example(another) is walrmart(Wal-Mart),the best supermarket and retailer corporation in the USA even though in the world which through competition,ways of good service inexpensive price. make it to become the best. It like a catalyst to all supermarkets which they all improved their price quality and service to attract people. The consequence is people buy well  quality goods at rationable price, to make(meet/satisfy) their needs,improved their life quality.From this point of view.competition is more benefical to our society than detriments.(是不是把题目理解错了,题目中的detrimental 是相对benefical而言的)

  Nontheless,competition bring(brings) us not only the positive effect also has negative effect.Cometitionmakes individual try best to make their own benefits. Because of that some illegal and immoral gradually appears. such as smuggle,unfair-employment in some companys,monopoly.Is it benefical to our society,certainly not.It is harmful to our survival environment.For instance,petroleum or we can say crude oil price problem.Up to now its price becoming more and more expensive with that some company use smuggle oil to sell in order to make the better benefits than others.This  is a examplary to show the opposite side of competition.Actually speaking,competition is not all benefical .

  But, if we can organize ourmanagement、regulation to competition successfully,direct the harmful competition and diminish the visciousones .Competition will be ultimately more benefical than detrimental to our society.

  In sum ,everything has its own positive and negative effect,if we manage the negative side rightly,it will serve us more positive ones than the opposite.(句子间的连接词那里去了)

OB叔UID: 188695

谢谢小马

IloveMorganUID: 2209413

谢谢斑竹,看来我还差的很远啊.谢谢了.我会努力的.