Issue130 12月高强第四周周一作业

最後の使徒UID: 2257608

TOPIC: ISSUE130 - "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
WORDS: 887          TIME: 0:43:48          DATE: 2006-12-11

提纲:
部分同意
1, 论证社会化的必要性+
2, 社会化是天生的能力-
3, 我们的教育在发展,使孩子们更能适应社会-

People are never born into separated environment, while society will be their destiny to face and join no matter whether they are willed to do so. After being educated in greenhouses of campus, children will one day step into this destiny inevitably, therefore making socialization an indispensable progress of their growth. However, it seems to me that socialization is a method of acclimating to the surroundings and such abilities are inborn. So it may be too extreme and pessimistic to say we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society, especially when the education and other related fields are keeping a high-speed development.

Socialization, defined as converting and meeting the social needs, determines a society's future by making its members work as effective parts of it. Society is a huge constitution combined by different individuals and groups, who need cooperation with each other and gain the methods for living and developing. Modern development has made such cooperation spear into every corner of our daily life: industry, service, agriculture and academic fields provide the people living in a society what they need, and supported by each other's products.

Education, as a way for us to raise children, gives them knowledge to take parts in this society and realize their personal values. When entering schools, children are living with other contemporaries for years, learning how to communicate with each other, gaining senses of cooperation, competition and understanding. After that, they graduate and face the practical issues, such as manufacturing, researching, designing and so forth. All these issues ask for cooperation during modern time, because they are all highly complicated with different products provided by different fields. An architecture design project, for instance, contains parts of architecture design, structure design, air-conditioner system, water supply system and so forth. During its designing progress, architects and other experts need communicate with each other, persuade or be persuaded to change their ideas and plans. If some one of them are not socialized and just keep on working individually, the outcomes will be not reasonable or even not feasible.

Moreover, socialization is an indispensable part of social living, even people do not take parts in producing. We are living in a connected world, facing other peoples for information, products and so forth. After graduating, children will leave their greenhouses which are supported by their parents, teachers and society. They have to work and live directly with other social members. If they are not socialized, and just continue their greenhouse life, they will find the world as a vacuum, bogging them with complex relation of people. In Japan, a group of people are called OTAKUs, who are trapped by their childhood interests, including animation, video game, internet,  and the sense of security at home. Those people are a reverse example of those who are not well socialized. They have their own worlds, cut off with others, and they are afraid of communicating. As a result, certain social problems have long been reported among these OTAKUs, such as suicide, crime, psychic diseases and so forth. In this case we may know the importance of socialization.

Nevertheless, although modern society has provided us both necessity and risks of socializing, our society has kept on its progress of development, despite of some people who are dropped by it because of lacking of socialization. To illustrate this phenomenon, I think it is reasonable to believe that socialization is an inborn ability that can be developed during education and social work.

All creatures have abilities to acclimate to the environment, and because of such abilities they have evolved during the past myriad years to today. As the most intelligent and developed creature, human beings are tend to be even more capable when facing a new environment. So when they are in societies, they will learn how to live and success by their practice, not saying about the developed education system, which can help them gain more knowledge and experience before the social life. Considering a foreign student who seeks for further education in a new country, he may have difficulties in language, social relation and cultural background when facing the new life. But we know that there are myriad foreign students who graduate successfully from their schools, after overcoming these problems. Such successes are due to their efforts in learning and working, bringing them new abilities to meet the new environment's need.

Additionally, modern education has developed in a way for students gaining more chances to cooperate and get in touch with the society, making them more socialized. For instance, my university has provided its students chances of working with their teachers and for the social agencies, including enterprises, governments and so forth. During these works, students will know their abilities and disadvantages when they one day come into the society totally, and amass the knowledge and senses to cover such disadvantages.

To sum up, socialization is a determining issue for children who are changing our world in future. Despite of certain problems caused by current society, children are steady under the society's care. As long as we keep an open mind to the necessity of socialization, and as long as we learn the proper way to raise children, our offspring will come a long way toward bringing about a better society.


[ 本帖最后由 ILOVEISSUE 于 2007-6-18 17:51 编辑 ]

waidswUID: 2256074

People are never born into separated environment, while society will be their destiny to face and join no matter whether they are willed （应该是willing吧）to do so. After being educated in greenhouses of campus, children will one day step into this destiny inevitably, therefore making socialization an indispensable progress of their growth. However, it seems to me that socialization is a method of acclimating to the surroundings and such abilities are inborn. （社会化是适应社会的方法而且那些能力是天生的， 所以说我们不会抚养孩子太悲观和极端， 二者有因果关系吗？）So it may be too extreme and pessimistic to say we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society, especially when the education and other related fields are keeping a high-speed development.


Socialization, defined as converting （？）and meeting the social needs, determines a society's future by making its members work as effective parts of it. Society is a huge constitution combined by different individuals and groups, who need cooperation with each other and gain the methods for living and developing. Modern development has made such cooperation spear into every corner of our daily life: industry, service, agriculture and academic fields provide the people living in a society what they need, and supported by each other's products.（这句看不太懂，可以分开）


Education, as a way for us to raise children, gives them knowledge to take parts in this society and realize their personal values. When entering schools, children are living with other contemporaries for years, learning how to communicate with each other, gaining senses of cooperation, competition and understanding. After that, they graduate and face the practical issues, such as manufacturing, researching, designing and so forth. All these issues ask for cooperation during modern time, because they are all highly complicated with different products provided by different fields. An architecture design project, for instance, contains parts of architecture design, structure design, air-conditioner system, water supply system and so forth. During its designing progress, architects and other experts need communicate with each other, persuade or be persuaded to change their ideas and plans. If some one of them are not socialized and just keep on working individually, the outcomes will be not reasonable or even not feasible. （这段是要表述教育的作用， 还是合作的重要性，如果是社会化在社会生产中的重要性，应该点一下socialization）

Moreover, socialization is an indispensable part of social living, （是不是上段是社会生产，这段是社会生活）even people do not take parts in producing. We are living in a connected world, facing other peoples for information, products and so forth. After graduating, children will leave their greenhouses which are supported by their parents, teachers and society. They have to work and live directly with other social members. If they are not socialized, and just continue their greenhouse life, they will find the world as a vacuum（为什么是真空？吸尘器？）, bogging them with complex relation of people. In Japan, a group of people are called OTAKUs, who are trapped by their childhood interests, including animation, video game, internet,  and the sense of security at home. Those people are a reverse example of those who are not well socialized. They have their own worlds, cut off with others, and they are afraid of communicating. As a result, certain social problems have long been reported among these OTAKUs, such as suicide, crime, psychic diseases and so forth. In this case we may know the importance of socialization.（例子很好！）

Nevertheless, although modern society has provided us both necessity and risks of socializing, （社会化的必需品与风险？）our society has kept on its progress of development, despite of some people who are dropped by it because of lacking of socialization. To illustrate this phenomenon, I think it is reasonable to believe that socialization is an inborn ability that can be developed during education and social work. (可以通过教育和社会工作来提高的天生的能力。不是每个inborn ability 都可以后天习得的。我觉得应该是尽管是天生的能力，后天的培养也可以提高。an inborn ability but also can be developed during education and social work.)
All creatures have abilities to acclimate to the environment, and because of such abilities they have evolved during the past myriad years to today. （they have the ability to evolve from the past to the present.）As the most intelligent and developed creature, human beings are tend to be even more capable when facing a new environment. So when they are in societies, they will learn how to live and success by their practice, not saying about the developed education system, which can help them gain more knowledge and experience before the social life. Considering a foreign student who seeks for further education in a new country, he may have difficulties in language, social relation and cultural background when facing the new life. But we know that there are myriad foreign students who graduate successfully from their schools, after overcoming these problems. Such successes are due to their efforts in learning and working, bringing them new abilities to meet the new environment's need.


Additionally, modern education has developed in a way for students gaining more chances to cooperate and get in touch with the society, making them more socialized. For instance, my university has provided its students chances of working with their teachers and for the social agencies, including enterprises, governments and so forth. During these works, students will know their abilities and disadvantages when they one day come into the society totally, and amass the knowledge and senses to cover such disadvantages.


To sum up, socialization is a determining issue for children who are changing our world in future. Despite of certain problems caused by current society, (哪些problems?) children are steady under the society's care. As long as we keep an open mind to the necessity of socialization, and as long as we learn the proper way to raise children, our offspring will come a long way toward bringing about a better society.

Lastangel 的文章太长了，牛人的表现之一，思维跳跃有点大，总想把论证的完美周全，总体思路还是比较清晰的。语言也很清楚。 没什么好改的。

一月一号UID: 2148376

People are never born into separated environment, while society will be their destiny to face and join no matter whether they are willed will to do so. After being educated in greenhouses of campus, children will one day step into this destiny inevitably, therefore making socialization an indispensable progress of their growth. However, it seems to me that socialization is a method of acclimating to the surroundings and such abilities are inborn. So it may be too extreme and pessimistic to say we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society, especially when the education and other related fields are keeping a high-speed development.

Socialization, defined as converting and meeting the social needs, determines a society's future by making its members work as effective parts of it. Society is a huge constitution combined by different individuals and groups, who need cooperation with each other and gain the methods for living and developing. Modern development has made such cooperation spear into every corner of our daily life: industry, service, agriculture and academic fields provide the people living in a society what they need, and supported by each other's products.

Education, as a way for us to raise children, gives them knowledge to take parts in this society and realize their personal values. When entering schools, children are living with other contemporaries for years, learning how to communicate with each other, gaining senses of cooperation, competition and understanding. After that, they graduate and face the practical issues, such as manufacturing, researching, designing and so forth. All these issues ask for cooperation during modern time, because they are all highly complicated with different products provided by different fields. An architecture design project, for instance, contains parts of architecture design, structure design, air-conditioner system, water supply system and so forth. During its designing progress, architects and other experts need communicate with each other, persuade or be persuaded to change their ideas and plans. If some one of them are not socialized and just keep on working individually, the outcomes will be not reasonable or even not feasible.

Moreover,你前面说的是education 这里又说是socialization连接用这个不太合适吧？ socialization is an indispensable part of social living, even people do not take parts in producing. We are living in a connected world, facing other peoples for information, products and so forth. After graduating, children will leave their greenhouses which are supported by their parents, teachers and society. They have to work and live directly with other social members. If they are not socialized, and just continue their greenhouse life, they will find the world as a vacuum, bogging them with complex relation of people. In Japan, a group of people are called OTAKUs, who are trapped by their childhood interests, including animation, video game, internet,  and the sense of security at home. Those people are a reverse example of those who are not well socialized. They have their own worlds, cut off with others, and they are afraid of communicating. As a result, certain social problems have long been reported among these OTAKUs, such as suicide, crime, psychic diseases and so forth. In this case we may know the importance of socialization.这个例子是想说明社会化的重要性吧？与你的主题句社会化是自然和不可避免的没什么关系吧？

Nevertheless, although modern society has provided us both necessity and risks of socializing, our society has kept on its progress of development, despite of some people who are dropped by it because of lacking of socialization. To illustrate this phenomenon, I think it is reasonable to believe that socialization is an inborn ability that can be developed during education and social work.

All creatures have abilities to acclimate to the environment, and because of such abilities they have evolved during the past myriad years to today. As the most intelligent and developed creature, human beings are tend to be even more capable when facing a new environment. So when they are in societies, they will learn how to live and success by their practice, not saying about the developed education system, which can help them gain more knowledge and experience before the social life. Considering a foreign student who seeks for further education in a new country, he may have difficulties in language, social relation and cultural background when facing the new life. But we know that there are myriad foreign students who graduate successfully from their schools, after overcoming these problems. Such successes are due to their efforts in learning and working, bringing them new abilities to meet the new environment's need.

Additionally, modern education has developed in a way for students gaining more chances to cooperate and get in touch with the society, making them more socialized. For instance, my university has provided its students chances of working with their teachers and for the social agencies, including enterprises, governments and so forth. During these works, students will know their abilities and disadvantages when they one day come into the society totally, and amass the knowledge and senses to cover such disadvantages.

To sum up, socialization is a determining issue for children who are changing our world in future. Despite of certain problems caused by current society, children are steady under the society's care. As long as we keep an open mind to the necessity of socialization, and as long as we learn the proper way to raise children, our offspring will come a long way toward bringing about a better society.
赞扬的话就不说了，我觉得你在段落之间的安排还可以再考虑下∶