issue83 <米国有米第十次作业 〉

blackswitchUID: 2110679

同意作者观点：
1  从保护动植物的角度来看，野生环境是最好的，人类对野生环境的破坏必然对动植物的生长不利。（从生物界本身的生物链来正面说，从亲身所见的例子，巴西森林的破坏来反面说。）
2 野生环境为动物和生态研究提供了理想的场所。 动物学家Jane Goodall在非常原始森林观察黑猩猩，科学家在原始森林发现新的物种。
3 野生环境遥远，仅有少部分人可达，仍然要重视。 森林大火，对珍稀动物的不法捕猎。

另外，还想写 对野生环境的适当开发也是需要的。 从人类发展的历史来看，对野生环境的开发对人类的生活是有利的，如大米，玉米都源于 野生环境。 从野生环境中所具有的宝贵的药材资源等等，只是人类要注意适当的开发。但是这样一写  文章就太长了。 希望大家给个意见，用哪三个理由比较好。


I strongly agree with the speaker’s assertion that government should preserve publicly owned wilderness areas in their natural state, because wilderness would benefit to the living of plants and animals, to the scientific research.

To begin with, preserving publicly owned wilderness areas in their natural state can is the most favorable places for the living of plants and animals .Because the nature has the ability to maintain its balance. Among plants and animals, it exists a complex supply food chain which human is hard to understand thoroughly and control. Human interference would destroy this balance more or less. In fact, many human actions have destroyed the living surrounding of plants and animals thereby causing their the death ,even extinction. In my home town ,there was ever a wilderness areas with a river in which we can see all kinds of fish when I was a child. But, now, with increasing number of waster and poisonous water being pushed into it , we never find fish in there. Excessive deforestation also brings hazard to the survive of some animals there. The destruction of Brazil’s tropical rain forest is an aptly example, vast tracts of forests are cut down in this area, thereby turning the former mountains covered by forests into only rocks and surface soil . Following the disappearance of plants that some species of animals depend on , these animals also die out.

Reserving wilderness has significant meaning for researchers of biology and ecology. Firstly,  Wilderness provide a ideal place for researchers to observe the behaviour of animals . In order to research the animals’ character and habits deeply, many scientists go into wilderness. Jane Goodall, a famous zoologer in England, observed chimpanzee in African virgin forest for twenty years. She lived with chimpanzee, eat the same food as chimpanzee did . Through this way ,she did great contribution to the research of chimpanzee .  Besides Jane, there are many scientist made their research and experience in virgin forest. We can imagine that if the virgin forset was destroyed ,these significant research and observation would be less likely to go on. In addition ,wilderness is also a huge treasury of gene . Scientist find new species in wilderness again and again. This new discoveries benefit to the development of biology. Some new found plants species are rare medical material and provide a good treatment for disease.  The found of new animal species give important clues for the origination and evolution of life.  

Further, We would not reduce our attention to wilderness areas because these areas are remote and accessible to only a few people. There are two reasons for this point. In one hand, some natural disasters threaten wilderness area such as conflagration . Given this, government should adopt appreciate mechanism to detect dangerous condition thereby avoiding the disaster. On the other hand, some avaricious people hunt wild animals for economical sake in remote wilderness areas, considering their activities in these areas would be harder to be found. Thus, government should enact relevant laws against environmental destruction and put it into effect. Certainly, public propaganda is also indispensable.  

To sum up, due to above analysis and discussion, I can safely draw the following conclusion that government should preserve publicly owned wilderness areas in their original states whether these places are remote and inaccessible to most people .



[ 本帖最后由 blackswitch 于 2007-1-20 10:53 编辑 ]

ernest81888UID: 2247639

I strongly agree with the speaker’s assertion that government should preserve publicly owned wilderness areas in their natural state, because wilderness would benefit to the living of plants and animals, to the scientific research. (+which is necessarily inquired for the world)


开头简练,清楚.

To begin with, preserving publicly owned wilderness areas in their natural state can is (去 can,笔误吧)the most favorable places for the living of plants and animals .Because the nature has the ability to maintain its balance. Among plants and animals, it exists a complex supply food chain which human is hard to understand thoroughly and control. Human interference would destroy this balance more or less. In fact, many human actions have destroyed the living surrounding of plants and animals thereby causing their the (去掉)death ,even extinction. In my home town ,there was ever a wilderness areas with a river in which we can see all kinds of fish when I was a child. But, now, with increasing number of waster and poisonous water being pushed (poured 吧)into it , we never find fish in there. Excessive deforestation also brings hazard to the survive of some animals there. The destruction of Brazil’s tropical rain forest is an aptly example, vast tracts of forests are cut down in this area, thereby turning the former mountains covered by forests into only rocks and surface soil (这句话你的意思我理解,但可能写的不太好,thereby turning the once forests covered mountains into a wasterland with nothing but only rocks and gravels,你看这样写好不好). Following the disappearance of plants that some species of animals depend on , these animals also die out.

这段总体不错,论点清晰,语句也比较优美,赞一个.

Reserving wilderness has significant meaning for researchers of biology and ecology. Firstly,  Wilderness provide a ideal place for researchers to observe the behaviour of animals . In order to research the animals’ character and habits deeply, many scientists go into wilderness. Jane Goodall, a famous zoologer in England, observed chimpanzee in African virgin forest for twenty years. She lived with chimpanzee, eat the same food as chimpanzee did . Through this way ,she did great contribution to the research of chimpanzee .  Besides Jane, there are many scientist made their research and experience in virgin forest. We can imagine that if the virgin forset was destroyed ,these significant research and observation would be less likely to go on. In addition ,wilderness is also a huge treasury of gene . Scientist find new species in wilderness again and again. This new discoveries benefit to the development of biology. Some new found plants species are rare medical material and provide a good treatment for disease.  The found of new animal species give important clues for the origination and evolution of life.  

很不错,语句优美,例子有说服力,也没看出有什么语法问题,but a small flaw,在你说明原始资源的重要的同时,请再后面加一句,那么我们的政府更应该保护这些荒地啦~

Further, We would not reduce our attention to wilderness areas because these areas are remote and accessible to only a few people. There are two reasons for this point. In one hand, some natural disasters threaten wilderness area such as conflagration . Given this, government should adopt appreciate mechanism to detect dangerous condition thereby avoiding the disaster. On the other hand, some avaricious people hunt wild animals for economical sake in remote wilderness areas, considering their activities in these areas would be harder to be found. Thus, government should enact relevant laws against environmental destruction and put it into effect. Certainly, public propaganda is also indispensable.  

一段比一段写的好啊,这段你紧扣了题目的后半句,conflagration的例子真的很不错.赞一个!!!

To sum up, due to above analysis and discussion, I can safely draw the following conclusion that government should preserve publicly owned wilderness areas in their original states whether these places are remote and inaccessible to most people .

后面越看越觉得精彩,可能我个人比较喜欢有说服力的例子,BLACK你时间还有,所以目前可以提高每一篇文章的质量,时间长没关系,但是好好构思,看到好的文章段落能背就背,慢慢培养自己良好的写作风格.我以前只看中要写出来,不重视质量,现在觉得,retrospect以前写过的.基本没有什么比较好的思绪.加油,这篇很不错, aefiter和我说过,强度胜过数量.这里的强度我理解为,质量的同时保证一定的数量

[ 本帖最后由 ernest81888 于 2007-1-20 11:15 编辑 ]

blackswitchUID: 2110679

谢谢 ernest 的鼓励，我现在就是写篇文章要费很多时间， 尤其是构思，特别费尽。 在一个小时内都写不出来一篇可以见得人得文章。你的建议很好，我觉得自己就是背得太少了，以至于不能流利的表达自己。 大家一起加油！

IloveMorganUID: 2209413

strongly agree with the speaker’s assertion that government should preserve publicly owned wilderness areas in their natural state, because wilderness would benefit to(这里是固定搭配么？benefit好象是跟of吧？） the living of plants and animals, to the scientific research. （开头不错，就要的是这个效果，简单，明了。很好）

To begin with, preserving publicly owned wilderness areas in their natural state can is（这里是什么？应该去了can吧） the most favorable places for the living（这里觉得the有些多余） of plants and animals .Because the nature has the ability to maintain its balance. Among plants and animals, it exists a complex supply food chain which human is hard to understand thoroughly and control.（and连接的是同类词，这里的control好象和thoroughly词性不一样吧） Human interference would destroy this balance more or less. In fact, many human actions have destroyed the living surrounding of plants and animals thereby causing their the death ,even extinction. （好句子，赞一个，厉害啊。呵呵）In my home town ,there was ever a wilderness areas with a river in which we can see all kinds of fish when I was a child. But, now, with increasing number of waster and poisonous water being pushed into it , we never find fish in there. Excessive deforestation also brings hazard to the survive of some animals there. The destruction of Brazil’s tropical rain forest is an aptly example, vast tracts of forests are cut down in this area, thereby turning the former mountains covered by forests into only rocks and surface soil . Following the disappearance of plants that some species of animals depend on , these animals also die out. （这段我细看了下，写的不错，有理有据，不过美中不足的是有些小错误，不过无所谓么？呵呵）

Reserving wilderness has significant meaning for researchers of biology and ecology.（这句话很直接，中心句也很直白，不过我觉得要是再加个什么indeed一类连接词放在开头，效果会不一样） Firstly,  Wilderness provide a ideal place for researchers to observe the behaviour of animals . In order to research the animals’（我这里不太清楚reserch的用法，我觉得这句用study好些，水平不高，只是建议，希望你能理解。呵呵） character and habits deeply, many scientists go into wilderness. Jane Goodall, a famous zoologer in England, observed chimpanzee in African virgin forest for twenty years. She lived with chimpanzee, eat the same food as chimpanzee did . Through this way ,she did great contribution to the research of chimpanzee .  Besides Jane, there are many scientist made their research and experience in virgin forest. We can imagine that if the virgin forset was destroyed ,these significant research and observation would be less likely to go on. In addition ,wilderness is also a huge treasury of gene . Scientist find new species in wilderness again and again. This new discoveries benefit to the development of biology. Some new found plants species are rare medical material and provide a good treatment for disease.  The found of new animal species give important clues for the origination and evolution of life. （后面写的好，这段是我理想中的那种结构，呵呵，一个简洁的开头加一段深刻的说明，很好）

Further, We would not reduce our attention to wilderness areas because these areas are remote and accessible to only a few people. There are two reasons for this point. In one hand, some natural disasters threaten wilderness area such as conflagration . Given this, government should adopt appreciate mechanism to detect dangerous condition thereby avoiding the disaster. On the other hand, some avaricious people hunt wild animals for economical sake in remote wilderness areas, considering their activities in these areas would be harder to be found. Thus, government should enact relevant laws against environmental destruction and put it into effect. Certainly, public propaganda is also indispensable.  （这段如果能再展开一下，可能会更好，感觉你这篇文章至少是5分啊，厉害，语言有深度，论述有广度，中心句都很简洁，很好，我要想你好好学习，呵呵。

To sum up, due to above analysis and discussion, I can safely draw the following conclusion that government should preserve publicly owned wilderness areas in their original states whether these places are remote and inaccessible to most people .

blackswitchUID: 2110679

谢谢 IloveMorgan的点评。