issue221 {长征队} 离考试还有3天，大家帮忙多拍拍吧，谢谢^^

tianrushuiUID: 207550

TOPIC: ISSUE221 - "The chief benefit of the study of history is to break down the illusion that people in one period of time are significantly different from people who lived at any other time in history."
WORDS: 584          TIME: 上午 12:37:36          DATE: 2007-1-21

Through the study of history, people could find that the life styles of people vary from one period from the other. However, some basic human nature remains the same. Meanwhile, the study of history prevents us from repeating the same grave mistakes as our predecessor did.

In terms of life styles, people in one period have significant differences from people who lived at any other time in history. The development of technology contributes to such changes. Internet, telephone, television, automobile, which are the main methods for us to communicate with others, get information and transport to other places, appear with the advancement of technology. Yet, in the past periods, people mainly dependent on letters to correspondent with others. And the main access for them to obtain information is books. Horses are their first choice when they visit other places. Life styles are not limited in these aspects. In fact, the family structure has also changed a lot. In the previous periods, people lived in a large family, which contained several generations. On the contrary, people today live in nuclear family-- father, mother and children (or sometimes without children). As technology develops, people's life styles would be more and more different from their predecessors'.

However, no matter in which period, some values and merits are still appreciated by human beings. The characteristics which people highly praise are nearly the same from past to nowadays. No matter how many changes our society has experiences, bravery, self-discipline, righteousness, fidelity to friends, family and nations, spirit of never giving up, altruism are still praised by people.  Meanwhile, people's pursuit for truth and beauty remains the same. Perhaps, the contents of people's researches are quite different. The main purpose to do such researches has few changes. They are all aimed to come closer to truth. Similarly, people may use different art forms to express their feelings. However, the essence behind forms is the same-- longing for beauty. From this perspective, it is reasonable to conclude that people in one period of time are of few differences from people who lived at any other time in history.

Finally, the study of history benefits people the most in the way that they help us avoid the same mistakes as our predecessors did. Some mistakes caused by our ancestors were disastrous to our society and even result in the recession of history. In order to ensure that our society keeps moving forward, it is necessary for us to avoid the same mistakes. The study of the Second World War is beneficial for us to avoid wars, one of the most serious disasters to our world. By learning the origination of the Second World War, we could learn how to prevent wars from the beginning. Meanwhile, environment problems also puzzle people a lot. By finding out past behaviors of people which result in current serious pollutions, people could establish laws to abandon such behaviors and prevent pollutions from being more serious. In fact, we could learn from history from many other aspects, not only in prevention of wars and pollutions. Deep understanding about mistakes people made in history would benefit current people significantly.

To sum up, from the perspective of life styles, people in one period of time are significantly different from people in other periods. From the perspective of faith and values, people in any period of time are quite the same. And the most important benefit of the study of history is to avoid historic mistakes made by people in the previous period of time.

asong2004UID: 2178054

Through the study of history, people could find that the life styles of people vary from one period from the other. However, some basic human nature remains the same. Meanwhile, the study of history prevents us from repeating the same grave mistakes as our predecessor did.

In terms of life styles, people in one period have significant differences from people who lived at any other time in history. The development of technology contributes to such changes（指代的上文还是下文？如果是上文的话是不是欠缺具体的内容）. Internet, telephone, television, automobile, which are the main methods for us to communicate with others, get information and transport to other places, appear with the advancement of technology. Yet,（不是转折是对比吧？其实个人觉得既然说了different period，那么具体说说上面的东东是21世纪的，而past具体到公元前某某时代是不是更好？） in the past periods, people mainly dependent on letters to correspondent with others. And the main access for them to obtain information is books. Horses are their first choice when they visit other places. Life styles are not limited in these aspects. In fact, the family structure has also changed a lot. In the previous periods, people lived in a large family, which contained several generations. On the contrary, people today live in nuclear family-- father, mother and children (or sometimes without children). As technology develops, people's life styles would be more and more different from their predecessors'.（技术——）方式变化；这样的论调有什么意义？）

However, no matter in which（whatever） period, some values and merits are still appreciated by human beings. The characteristics which people highly praise are nearly the same from past to nowadays（从古至今？这样的用法行不？俺不清楚）. No matter how many （物质上滴，技术上滴，修饰下更好吧）changes our society has experiences, bravery, self-discipline, righteousness, fidelity to friends, family and nations, spirit of never giving up, altruism are still praised by people.  Meanwhile, people's pursuit for truth and beauty remains the same. Perhaps, the contents of people's researches are quite different. The main purpose to do （ｔｏ　ｄｏ　和ｐｕｒｐｏｓｅ　的关系？）such researches has few changes. They are all aimed to come closer to truth. Similarly, people may use different art forms to express their feelings. However, the essence behind forms is the same-- longing for beauty. From this perspective, it is reasonable to conclude that people in one period of time are of few differences from people who lived at any other time in history.

Finally, the study of history benefits people the most in the way that they help us avoid the same mistakes as our predecessors did. Some mistakes caused by our ancestors were disastrous to our society and even result in the recession of history. In order to ensure that our society keeps moving forward, it is necessary for us to avoid the same mistakes. The study of the Second World War is beneficial for us to avoid wars, one of the most serious disasters to our world. By learning the origination of the Second World War, we could learn how to prevent wars from the beginning. Meanwhile, environment problems also puzzle people a lot. By finding out past behaviors of people which result in current serious pollutions, people could establish laws to abandon such behaviors and prevent pollutions from being more serious. In fact, we could learn from history from many other aspects, not only in prevention of wars and pollutions. Deep understanding about mistakes people made in history would benefit current people significantly.（是要强调这个才是ｃｈｉｅｆ的么？那为什么不直接在ｔｓ里体现出来呢？）

To sum up, from the perspective of life styles, people in one period of time are significantly different from people in other periods. From the perspective of faith and values, people in any period of time are quite the same.（有的方面有不同，有的方面一样，那找区别是不是真的不重要或者不如其他的重要呢？俺真的推不出来） And the most important benefit of the study of history is to avoid historic mistakes made by people in the previous period of time.
呵呵，随便说说自己的看法，不负责哟。
顺便住ＬＺ考试成功！

expire7UID: 2160574

Through the study of history, people could find that the life styles of people vary from one period from the other.（life style, vary这三个词改写的不错。） However, some basic human nature remains the same. Meanwhile, the study of history prevents us from repeating the same grave mistakes as our predecessor did.
总的来说，首段写的不错。比较扼要的说出了作者和自己的观点。开头三句话分别，同意作者观点，发现问题，发现缺陷。不过，第三句的补充作者的观点对应不够好。你是用某个具体的对应作者宏观的。实际上个人觉得宏观对宏观更好。就是说这里如果直接说学习历史还有其他的好处也和作者提到的好处同等重要，比如说有史明鉴。


In terms of life styles, people in one period have significant differences from people who lived at any other time（times） in history. The development of technology contributes to such changes. Internet, telephone, television, automobile(4个名字但是无and。需要添加), which are the main methods for us to communicate with others, get information and transport to other places, appear with the advancement of technology. Yet（转折意味过于强烈，这里直接compared with the past periods好了）, in the past periods, people mainly dependent on letters to correspondent with others. And the main access for them to obtain information is books. Horses are their first choice when they visit other places.（前面3句其实都是照应你之前的现代。不过句式关系，所以感觉不是一类的。And要不放到horses前面，前面的句号都用逗号。） Life styles are not limited in these aspects. In fact, the family structure has also changed a lot. In the previous periods, people lived in a large family, which contained several generations. On the contrary, people today live in nuclear family-- father, mother and children (or sometimes without children). As technology develops, people's life styles would be more and more different from their predecessors'.（TS没有照应主题是可以的。毕竟是联系主题。但是总结再不照应主题，似乎就完全就事论事了。）
本段写得还是有点趣味。TS虽然不完全扣紧题目，但是依然丝丝联系。二句开始一铺垫，直接后面就是例子论述。和很多作文风格不一样。不过，也算是不错的论证方法。不过句子的紧凑感不够，前面好看，后面就有点不入味了。不过，这些都在GRE考试之外了，闲聊几句。


However, no matter in which period, some values and merits are still appreciated by human beings. The characteristics which people highly praise are nearly the same from past to nowadays. No matter how many changes our society has experiences, bravery, self-discipline, righteousness, fidelity to friends, family and nations, spirit of never giving up, altruism are still praised by people.  Meanwhile, people's pursuit for truth and beauty remains the same. Perhaps, the contents of people's researches are quite different. The main purpose to do such researches has few changes. They are all aimed to come closer to truth. Similarly, people may use different art forms to express their feelings. However, the essence behind forms is the same-- longing for beauty. From this perspective, it is reasonable to conclude that people in one period of time are of few differences from people who lived at any other time in history.
写得不错的一段，不愧是要考试的水准。几乎没有发现什么逻辑上的问题。行云流水之状。长短句运用也不错。词性变化也好。内部的些许转折用的也十分好。看你的文章，对我们版主来说轻松许多。


Finally, the study of history benefits people the most in the way that they help us avoid the same mistakes as our predecessors did.（还是开头提出来的问题。主要抨击应该放在chief上面，以及对应原则。抽象对抽象，细节对细节。这里TS需要修改。） Some mistakes caused by our ancestors were disastrous to our society and even result in the recession of history. In order to ensure that our society keeps moving forward, it is necessary for us to avoid the same mistakes. The study of the Second World War is beneficial for us to avoid wars, one of the most serious disasters to our world. By learning the origination of the Second World War, we could learn how to prevent wars from the beginning. Meanwhile, environment problems also puzzle people a lot. By finding out past behaviors of people which result in current serious pollutions, people could establish laws to abandon such behaviors and prevent pollutions from being more serious. In fact, we could learn from history from many other aspects, not only in prevention of wars and pollutions. Deep understanding about mistakes people made in history would benefit current people significantly.
这一段就相对B2弱一些，句式的使用过于散乱。例子举的也比较含糊。


To sum up, from the perspective of life styles, people in one period of time are significantly different from people in other periods. From the perspective of faith and values, people in any period of time are quite the same. And the most important benefit of the study of history is to avoid historic mistakes made by people in the previous period of time.（这一句突然提到most important，让我印象分大减。不知何处有对应？其实你可以这样说。但是你必须在首段提到最重要的你认为是这个。然后第三body，充分证明。那你的文章结构上就很好了。）



总的来说，不错的I。考试应该差不多的火候了。细节问题不大，需要把握的就是对题目的响应和展开了。算是一篇不错的习作。

十分抱歉，我无法添加颜色进去，你将就着看了。

expire7UID: 2160574

你的body1要当心，有点跑题的风险在。
TS和总结最好还是切合题目的好。

tianrushuiUID: 207550

段落结构方面的问题可能是我对题目的理解方面的一点偏差。我对题目的理解是这样的，先从the study of history is to break down the illusion that people in in one period of time are significantly different from people who lived at any other time in history.上来说，认为study the history让我们认识到各时代的人之间有相同（some values and merits）也有不同（life style），也就是对break down the illusion进行了否定，然后再提出了我认为的the study of history对我们的最大的帮助。第一段最后再加一句说明从life style来看各时代之间人的确是有很大差异是不是会比现在好些？恩，我刚意识到我在对break the illusion做出回应时好像就没有考虑到benefits在内。

piggy2006UID: 2272134

确实不晓得怎么改才好。。。我觉得真的是值得我学习的一篇文章，让我去学该怎么展开。
水，加油哈！

staroceanUID: 2271193

However, no matter in which period, some values and merits are still appreciated by human beings. The characteristics which people highly praise are nearly the same from past to nowadays. No matter how many changes our society has experiences, bravery, self-discipline, righteousness, fidelity to friends, family and nations, spirit of never giving up, altruism are still praised by people.  Meanwhile, people's pursuit for truth and beauty remains the same. Perhaps, the contents of people's researches are quite different. The main purpose to do such researches has few changes. They are all aimed to come closer to truth. Similarly, people may use different art forms to express their feelings. However, the essence behind forms is the same-- longing for beauty. From this perspective, it is reasonable to conclude that people in one period of time are of few differences from people who lived at any other time in history.
这一段写的尤其好，点面结合也做得很好。学习