argument2 第一次求拍，有拍必回

zhizi522UID：2307341

TOPIC: ARGUMENT2 - The following appeared in a letter sent by a committee of homeowners from the Deerhaven Acres to all homeowners in Deerhaven Acres.

"Seven years ago, homeowners in nearby Brookville community adopted a set of restrictions on how the community's yards should be landscaped and what colors the exteriors of homes should be painted. Since then, average property values have tripled in Brookville. In order to raise property values in Deerhaven Acres, we should adopt our own set of restrictions on landscaping and housepainting."

The arguer suggests that all homeowners adopt a restriction on landscaping and house painting so as to boost the average property of Deerhaven Acres. To support the perspective, the author analyzes the situation in Brookville. However, the arguer is not so well reasoned to convince the homeowners.

To begin with, the author fails to consider other possibilities that may attribute to the increase of the price for houses in Brookville. It is entirely possible that the Brookville has advantages in the position. For example, Brookville may lies in a very beautiful place with a nice climate and a convenient transportation. All citizens want to settle down in a haven like this, thus, the value continues to rise during the time. What is more, it is also likely that Brookville has improved the inter conditions a lot, which drive persons to buy a home there and at the same way to boost the price. For instance, the community may have lately planted many trees and flowers and so forth which made the place healthy and pleasant to live.

Even assume that the restriction persons in Brookville reached is the main reason for the boost of the property value, the result for Deerhaven Acres to do the same thing may be not the same. The communities may be comprised of different kinds of person which differentiate the result. Residents in Brookville may be mostly elder ones or hold a more serious job like scientists and accountant that lead a sober character, who would be delightful if the community is tidy and consistent, while Deerhaven Acres citizens are much younger and with a occupation as artists and advertisement workers. Since this group of people are always more active, creative and want to be different with others, the method used to be successful may receive a disappoint response. Some may even move away if the community insist on the restriction.

In addition, persons in Deerhaven Acres may have other and better ways to make the increase the profit except for agreeing on a contract of how to paint the house and adorn the yard. It is possible that how the habitant of Deerhaven Acres adorn their house attribute little to the condition of sale, thus it will be much helpful if the government find out the most important factor. For instance, Deerhaven Acres may lies in an undeveloped region that visitors from outside are extremely limited, then the most effective way is to improve the economy or held some project to draw the attention of the nation.

In summary, the reasons for the arguer's point is not convincible enough to make a restriction on landscaping and housepainting among the residents.

iq28UID：2152875

The arguer suggests that all homeowners adopt a restriction on landscaping and house painting so as to boost the average property of Deerhaven Acres. To support the perspective, the author analyzes the situation in Brookville. However, the arguer is not so well reasoned to convince the homeowners. (恰当长度)

To begin with, the author fails to consider other possibilities that may attribute to the increase of the price for houses in Brookville. (经典问题...我们不是为了举反例而举反例.是为了举出反例的存在可能性而驳斥作者的观念,也就是装修法案是错误的.ts不能只是说有别的可能性,要指出作者的观念不一定成立,不一定成立的原因之一首先是没有证据,然后才要你抛出来前面所写的other possibilities) It is entirely possible that the Brookville has advantages in the position. For example, Brookville may lies in a very beautiful place with a nice climate and a convenient transportation. All citizens want to settle down in a haven like this, thus, the value continues to rise during the time. (不错.) What is more, (前后不构成明显递进) it is also likely that Brookville has improved the inter (inner) conditions a lot, (空洞,具体哪些inner conditions) which drive(s) persons to buy a home there and at the same way to boost the price. For instance, the community may have lately planted many trees and flowers and so forth (实例居然放在了最后.应该在前面which drive前面.这样这一层和上一层构成的关系则不是inner和外层的关系,因该更是宏观和微观的条件变化) which made the place healthy and pleasant to live.
(举了一段的例子,没有任何论证.事实上都不知道你要批驳作者的哪个观念.典型的舍本求末.再次重申,举例是为了)

Even assume that the restriction persons in Brookville reached is the main reason (看看这一句,再回头看看上一段.上一段压根就没有提到restriction.) for the boost of the property value, the result for Deerhaven Acres to do the same thing may be not the same. (没看懂.似乎有语病) The communities may be comprised of (书面语用直接用comprise) different kinds of person which differentiate the result. Residents in Brookville may be mostly elder ones or hold a more serious job like scientists and accountant that lead a sober character, who would be delightful if the community is tidy and consistent, while Deerhaven Acres citizens are much younger and with a occupation as artists and advertisement workers. Since this group of people are always more active, creative and want to be different with others, the method used to be successful may receive a disappoint response. Some may even move away if the community insist on the restriction. (对于人群的论述到确实细致到了极限,不错.不过把地域的差别只归结到人群的不同上,过于狭隘,而且后面居然就没有总结论证直接就结尾了.)

In addition, persons in Deerhaven Acres may have other and better ways to make (作者并未否认别的方法,没有说出the only way...之类的话) the increase the profit except for agreeing on a contract of how to paint the house and adorn the yard. It is possible that how the habitant of Deerhaven Acres adorn their house attribute little to the condition of sale, thus it will be much helpful if the government find out the most important factor. For instance, Deerhaven Acres may lies in an undeveloped region that visitors from outside are extremely limited, then the most effective way is to improve the economy or held some project to draw the attention of the nation. (本段没有攻击到文章任何的逻辑推理错误.只是提了别的建议.坦率说我也不知道ets是否赞成这种做法.不过我个人是不这么写的.)

In summary, the reasons for the arguer's point is not convincible enough to make a restriction on landscaping and housepainting among the residents.

本文优点:实例细节写的很不错
缺点:我们不是为了写细节而写细节
我们要做的是攻击作者的逻辑错误
写细节或者别的方案,都是为了攻击他的推理而服务的.这个才是写argument的核心

zhizi522UID：2307341

实在不好意思这么久才把改好的贴出来
其实昨天改了一下午，但在细节上悠来悠去的没改出多少不说还搞的特郁闷，今天想通了应该先解决宏观问题，汗。。。 白天有课晚上才弄完
恩，谢谢iq的指点，收获实在不小
另外能再稍麻烦下扫扫改过的各段Ts和框架么，因为还是不确定论述上的东西够不够。。。

The arguer suggests that all homeowners adopt a restriction on landscaping and house painting so as to boost the average property of Deerhaven Acres. To support the perspective, the author analyzes the situation in Brookville. However, the arguer is not so well reasoned to convince the homeowners.

To begin with, the restrictions of Brookville may contribute little, if any, to the increase of the property value since the author fails to consider other possibilities. First, it is entirely possible that Brookville has advantages on location. For example, Brookville may lies in a very beautiful place with a nice climate and a convenient transportation that all citizens want to settle down in a heaven like this, thus, the value continues to rise during the time, which has nothing to do with the restriction. In addition, it is also likely that Brookville has improved the inner conditions a lot, for instance, the community may have lately planted many trees and flowers and so forth which made the place healthy and pleasant to live, and hence at the same way boost the price. If these play the most important part in the augment rather than the restriction, it will be more reasonable for the citizens in Deerhaven Acres to focus on them.

Granted that the restrictions adopted by homeowners in Brookville are the main reason for the property value increase, the experience may not adapt to Deerhaven Acres. After all, the two communities may have many distinctions in the feature of the residents. It is possible that residents in Deerhaven Acres are mostly young and with a occupation as artists and advertisement designers, then, since this group of people are always more active, creative and want to show their individuality, the method used to be successful in Brookville, whose citizens are mainly more serious and thus appreciate a tidy and consistent community, will be counterproductive. Besides, the style of the houses in the two communities may be different, perhaps houses in Brookville are located in good order that suit to follow a consistent color while constructions in Deerhaven Acres are designed more randomly that a restriction on how to adorn the house would only make it looks littery. In this case, the community should make a close investigation and comparison before they come to the conclusion.

In addition, the restriction can also be not available since the success of the implement in Brookville was seven years ago. Too much things may have changed during the time. Perhaps home-buyer are now more concerned with the inner condition of the house rather than the exterior feature. They will buy the house only if the function is satisfactory, regardless of the color of the home as well as the landscaping of the yard. Thus, the author should also take the changes of buyers of the home among the years into consideration, otherwise, the suggestion will not be convincible.

In summary, the reasons for the arguer's insight are not convincible enough to make a restriction on landscaping and housepainting among the residents.