新鲜出炉的作文，帮我看看吧

djconanUID: 2257634

Version85(scientists can’t solve problems they created)
Scientific and technological advances are very important in our society. Scientists are not able to give solutions to all the problems they have created. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It can not be denied that great changes have taken place since the Technological Revolution. Thus, our society is changing into a modern one as an impact of scientific and technological advancement. However, during development of our society, scientists have created some serious problems that are not easy for them to tackle.

First and foremost, some of the tough problems are created when scientists deal with other immediate problems. For instance, when an animal or plant was produced by scientists from one cell of another animal or plant which are exactly the same, scientists did not consider that this would create another serious social problem—human cloning, to which people have yet to find solution.

In the second place, there are also some serious matters that emerged during the competitions among nations. Each country wants to govern the whole world and thus some of the powerful nations would probably use nuclear power to threaten others. Therefore, people would no longer exist.

Moreover, it is, sometimes, the scientists that bring about some serious problems which they can not give solution to. When they do the scientific research, they need to try different methods and thus would potentially cause some problems.

It is true that scientists are sometimes helpless confronted with all the problems they created, but they should not stop carrying out research, handling immediate problems in fear of creating more difficulty, because only by dealing with new problems continuously could our society make great progress in science and technology and other field as well.

djconanUID: 2257634

自己顶

forbeckUID: 2297645

明天改吧！

夜空的彼方UID: 159120

Version85(scientists can’t solve problems they created)
Scientific and technological advances are very important in our society. Scientists are not able to give solutions to all the problems they have created. To what extent do you agree or disagree?（首先觉得这个题目不是很好写，如果要举例的话，需要对这方面有一定的了解。）

It can not be denied that great changes have taken place since the Technological Revolution（一点小小的建议，科技革命用scientific and technological revolution比较好 ）. Thus, our society is changing into a modern one as an impact of scientific and technological advancement. However, during development of our society（the process of society development）, scientists have created some serious problems that are not easy for them to tackle.（这句表达感觉不是很地道，改成that can not be tackled by them easily.如何？）

First and foremost, some of the tough problems are created when scientists deal with other immediate problems. For instance, when an animal or plant was produced（总感觉这个produce用在这里不太好，换成cultivated吧） by scientists from one cell of another animal or plant which are exactly the same, scientists did not consider that this would create another serious social problem—human cloning, to which people have yet to find solution.（不错的表达！）

In the second place, there are also some serious matters that emerged during the competitions among nations. Each country wants to govern the whole world and thus some of the powerful nations would probably use nuclear power to threaten others. Therefore, people would no longer exist.（这句似可有可无）
这段在写完核武器的威胁之后，可以提一下，当初科学家最初在研究核能的时候，没有料想到它会成为杀人工具，很好的例子！
Moreover, it is, sometimes, the scientists that bring about some serious problems which they can not give solution to. When they do the scientific research, they need to try different methods and thus would potentially cause some problems.

It is true that scientists are sometimes helpless confronted with all the problems they created, but they should not stop carrying out research, handling immediate problems in fear of creating more difficulties, because only by dealing with new problems continuously could our society make great progress in science and technology and other field as well.（这个句子很有难度啊，不错！）

总的来说，因为这个题目不是很好写，你写的已经很好了！
你举了两个例子：克隆和核武器，这的确是两个论述科学所面临问题的很好的例子，结尾表达了自己的观点，能够自圆其说。
另外句子方面，还是有待提高，对长句的把握还不是很好，没关系，继续写下去，一定会有进步的！

djconanUID: 2257634

谢谢你啊， 我就是总觉得我得长句有待提高，但是很着急，。。。。马上就考了

forbeckUID: 2297645

It can not be denied that great changes have taken place since the Technological Revolution. Thus, our society is changing into a modern one as an impact of scientific and technological advancement. However, during development of our society, scientists have created some serious problems that are not easy for them to tackle.

First and foremost, some of the tough problems are created when scientists deal with other immediate problems. For instance, when an animal or plant was produced（这个词用得很别扭） by scientists from one cell of another animal or plant which are exactly the same, scientists did not consider that this would create another serious social problem—human cloning, to which people have yet to find solution.

In the second place, there are also some serious matters that emerged during the competitions among nations. Each country wants to govern the whole world(这个观点是不是太绝对化了) and thus some of the powerful nations would probably use nuclear power to threaten others. Therefore, people would no longer exist.

Moreover, it is, sometimes, the scientists that bring about some serious problems which they can not give solution to. When they do the scientific research, they need to try different methods and thus would potentially cause some problems.

It is true that scientists are sometimes helpless confronted with all the problems they created, but they should not stop carrying out research, handling immediate problems in fear of creating more difficulty, because only by dealing with new problems continuously could our society make great progress in science and technology and other field as well.

1、  第一段将题目转化的很巧妙，顺便也提出了自己的观点
2、  3、4两段如果互换，我觉得衔接上会更流畅些。第2段最后说到people have yet to find solution，接上第4段的cannot的例子……要不，2、3、4段的文字读起来连贯性不强。
3、  最后一段，这是我以前经常被指出的问题：最后一段主要是重申观点，但是你的最后一段没有再次点明观点。
4、  夜空的彼方提出的语言不够地道的意见，我给说个解决方法吧：（刚学的一招）把你的句子或短语输入googole英文版，看哪国人使用这种表达比较多，接下来就知道哪些是地道的了

[ 本帖最后由 forbeck 于 2007-8-19 16:20 编辑 ]

djconanUID: 2257634

那个方法听起来不错，我要试一试！！
还有个问题，就是我的作文2-4段都在举例子，是不是没有在论证观点，这个是不是不太好？请大家指教~~~:handshake

djconanUID: 2257634

经过查询，还是not easy to tackle比较好;)