【8月20日】Task1---表格，Task2---职业教育----------已停拍！！

夜空的彼方UID: 159120

Task 1   
Description: The table below shows the consumer durables (telephone, refrigerator, etc) oweed in Britain from 1972 to 1983.
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The table reveals information about the the number of consumer durable, such as television, washing machine and vacuum cleaner, what be possessed in every hundred households, all increased in the period from 1972 to 1983.
It can be seen from the table that the number of central heating prised from 37 in 1972 to 64 in 1983, more than half of households have at least one. The amount of vacuum cleaner and washing machine also took an upward trend, which increased from 87and 66 in 1972 to 95 and 80 in 1983 respectively. At the same period, almost every households owned a television.
The number of refrigerator grew all the way in the eight years period and it can be clearly seen that the speed of increase was quicker in the early years from 73 in 1972 to 91 in 1978, however, this trend remain stable and just have a slight rising in the later years. Likewise, the number of telephone also have a stable increasing from 42 in 1972 to 75 in 1981, then increased slowly to 77 in 1983.
Before 1983, there were no statistics of video set, and in 1983, nearly every 5 households have one. The first record of dishwasher in this table was in 1978, but the number was only 3 and increased slightly to 5.
(Words: 221)

PS：觉得自己的Task1 写的挺烂的，没头没尾的都不知道说清楚了没有，急需提高啊。。。。:rolleyes:

[ 本帖最后由 夜空的彼方 于 2007-8-22 04:18 编辑 ]

夜空的彼方UID: 159120

Topic: Should developing countries concentrate on Improving industrial skills or should they promote education first?
（TOPIC来源：雅思版置顶下载贴---写作---IELTS Writing Topics---Topic 3）
DATE: 20th, August  
WORDS: 347

提纲：
第一段---首先说明区别发展中国家和发达国家的衡量标准是科技和经济实力，而教育和工业化分别是提高科技和经济实力的的途径。
第二段---论述职业教育对于发展中国家的作用（譬如提高生产效率），而这些都会为发展中国家带来直接的利益。
第三段---在现代社会，国与国之间的竞争很大程度上是科技实力的竞争，举例（基因，能源）说明科学研究的重要性，而科学技术的提高需要培养一批受过良好教育的科技人才。
第四段---结尾申明论点，职业技能和学术教育两者没有孰轻孰重之分，对于发展中国家来说，同样重要。
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Today's world has been divided into developing countries and industrialised countries which the main difference between them is the scientific and economic strength, which mainly be promoted by education and industrilization respectively.

Undeniably, as a developing country, to accelerate the speed of industrialization, of course need a lot of skilled worker in all areas. It must be admitted that the industrial skills education can give the unfortunate countries real interests, for example, the difference of productivity between a layman and a specialized worker is very remarkable. And there is no question about the fact that the industrial skills education serves a direct purpose in helping students find a job, this is useful for easing the employment pressure, what is a common problem in developing nations.

However, it can not be deny that, the competition among countries, to a great extent, will be increasingly based on science and technology. Take the genetic engineering for example, the countries who are advance in this field will be very competitive in the future. Another instance is energy science, it is undoubtedly that, the traditional sources of energy, such like coal, gasoline and petrol, will be running out sooner or later. To keep a sustainable development, we need scientists to develop new power sources like nuclear and solar energy. To achieve these aims, it is necessarily that we need some outstanding scientists and as well as a larger amount of people who are well educated in universities and colleagues.

In conclusion, given the growing demands of skilled workers and the practical benefits, the developing countries must strive to improve industrial skills. At the same time, they need promoting scholarly education to catch up the developed nations and be a great power. Like a coin have two sides, we must pay attention on both sides to see a whole picture.

kimomoUID: 2377530

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Today's world has been divided into developing countries and industrialised countries which the main difference between them is the scientific and economic strength, which mainly be promoted by education and industrilization respectively.(这句可否这样改下,或许清晰易懂些Today's world has been divided into two main parts--developing countries and industrialized countries, between which the main difference is the scientific and economic strength that mainly be promoted by education and industrilization respectively.)

Undeniably, as a developing country, to accelerate the speed of industrialization, of course need a lot of skilled worker in all areas.(这句似乎没有主语-Undiniably,as......country, in order to accelerate the speed ... -tion, a lot of skilled workers in all areas are needed urgently.) It must be admitted that(Admittedly,) the industrial skills education can give the unfortunate countries real interests(or bonus), for example, the difference of productivity between a layman and a specialized worker is very remarkable. And there is no question about the fact that the industrial skills education serves a direct purpose in helping students find(land) a job, this is useful for easing the employment pressure, what(which?) is a common problem in developing nations.

However, it can not be deny that, the competition among countries, to a great extent, will be increasingly based on science and technology. Take the genetic engineering for example, the countries who(?) are advance(advanced?) in this field will be very competitive in the future. Another instance is energy science, it is undoubtedly that, the traditional sources of energy, such like coal, gasoline and petrol, will be running out sooner or later. To keep a sustainable development, we need scientists to develop new power sources like nuclear and solar energy. To achieve these aims, it is necessarily that we need some outstanding scientists and as well as (just"as well as")a larger amount of people who are well educated in universities and colleagues.

In conclusion, given the growing demands of skilled workers and the practical benefits, the developing countries must strive to improve industrial skills. At the same time, they need promoting scholarly education to catch up the developed nations and be a great power. Like a coin have two sides,(这个表达...呃...) we must pay attention on both sides to see a whole picture.

P.S.一直很欣赏你分析问题的能力,比较全面和周到,表达也比较到位
但是句子结构有时候显得比较单一,尤其是用It is... that....&it can not be deny that....用得很多,关系代词的用法也要注意
总体来说,你的作文都挺不错的，反到我是很担心自己的作文,一直都没长进,给老师看了后说我分析的观点不够清晰，有时候论据也不够有力,要加强呀..

djconanUID: 2257634

感觉你是不是以前写过gre作文阿？怎么这么高深的句子，我好佩服阿

forbeckUID: 2297645

The table reveals information about the the number of consumer durable, such as television, washing machine and vacuum cleaner, what be possessed in every hundred households, all increased in the period from 1972 to 1983.

It can be seen from the table that the number of central heating prised from 37 in 1972 to 64 in 1983, more than half of households have at least one. The amount of vacuum cleaner and washing machine also took an upward trend, which increased from 87and 66 in 1972 to 95 and 80 in 1983 respectively. At the same period, almost every households owned a television.

The number of refrigerator grew all the way in the eight years period and it can be clearly seen that the speed of increase was quicker in the early years from 73 in 1972 to 91 in 1978, however, this trend remain stable and just have a slight rising in the later years. Likewise, the number of telephone also have a stable increasing from 42 in 1972 to 75 in 1981, then increased slowly to 77 in 1983.

Before 1983, there were no statistics of video set, and in 1983, nearly every 5 households have one. The first record of dishwasher in this table was in 1978, but the number was only 3 and increased slightly to 5.
(Words: 221)
我觉得读起来都挺顺的，task1主要就把图表描述清楚就好，也没要求来个评论性的结尾，就是字数太多了点，嘻嘻！基本上150-180就差不多了，写多了，考官看了也晕吧~~

forbeckUID: 2297645

Today's world has been divided into developing countries and industrialised countries （这句有点废话了吧？谁不知道有这样的区分呀！）which the main difference between them is the scientific and economic strength, which mainly be promoted by education and industrilization respectively.

Undeniably, as a developing country, to accelerate the speed of industrialization, of course need a lot of skilled worker in all areas. It must be admitted that the industrial skills education can give the unfortunate countries real interests, for example, the difference of productivity between a layman and a specialized worker is very remarkable. And there is no question about the fact that the industrial skills education serves a direct purpose in helping students find a job, this is useful for easing the employment pressure, what is a common problem in developing nations.

However, it can not be deny that, the competition among countries, to a great extent, will be increasingly based on science and technology. Take the genetic engineering for example, the countries who are advanced in this field will be very competitive in the future. Another instance is energy science, it is undoubtedly that, the traditional sources of energy, such like coal, gasoline and petrol, will be running out sooner or later. To keep a sustainable development, we need scientists to develop new power sources like nuclear and solar energy. To achieve these aims, it is necessarily（adv.?）  that we need some outstanding scientists and as well as(去掉and 吧) a larger amount of people who are well educated in universities and colleagues.

In conclusion, given the growing demands of skilled workers and the practical benefits, the developing countries must strive to improve industrial skills. At the same time, they need promoting scholarly education to catch up the developed nations and be a great power. Like a coin have two sides（这句话还是少用吧，说了有点像没说）, we must pay attention on both sides to see a whole picture.

首段没有提出观点，中立的话，应该更要把观点说明。开门见山，直接点吧！

btw发现楼主换头像了，哈！现在300分就能用自己头像了？

[ 本帖最后由 forbeck 于 2007-8-20 19:27 编辑 ]

lazyboyUID: 2314767

The table reveals（the） information about the the number of consumer durable, such as television, washing machine and vacuum cleaner,( what be)which are possessed in every hundred households, all increased in the period from 1972 to 1983.
  It can be seen from the table that the number of central heating prised from 37 in 1972 to 64 in 1983, more than half of households (have)possess at least one. The amount of vacuum cleaner and washing machine also took an upward trend, which increased from 87and 66 in 1972 to 95 and 80 in 1983 respectively. (At)In the same period, almost every households owned a television.
The number of refrigerator grew all the way in the eight years period and it can be clearly seen that the speed of increase was quicker in the early years from 73 in 1972 to 91 in 1978, however, this trend remain stable and just have a slight rising in the later years. Likewise, the number of telephone also have a stable increasing from 42 in 1972 to 75 in 1981, then increased slowly to 77 in 1983.
  Before 1983, there were no statistics of video set, and in 1983, nearly every 5 households have one. The first record of dishwasher in this table was in 1978, but the number was only 3 and increased slightly to 5.
我觉得楼主可以多用一些词汇哦，我把我想改的地方都用括号括起来了，没有换成红字，凑合着看看，呵呵！

djconanUID: 2257634

不是的，我600分了，也没有

夜空的彼方UID: 159120

原帖由 kimomo 于 2007-8-20 11:55 发表
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Today's world has been divided into developing co ...

谢谢kimomo的修改和建议。:handshake
其实你也不用太担心，因为IELTS更注重你的语言表达能力一些。
例证不够充分的问题，我觉得你可以在写之前先心里想好，你的论点需要哪些论据和理由来支持，这样在写的过程中自然而然的使用就行了，这主要是因为我们在写英语作文的时候，更多的注意力都放在词汇和句式结构上了。:)

夜空的彼方UID: 159120

原帖由 forbeck 于 2007-8-20 19:22 发表
首段没有提出观点，中立的话，应该更要把观点说明。开门见山，直接点吧！

btw发现楼主换头像了，哈！现在300分就能用自己头像了？

呵呵，的确是个问题，当时构思的时候，发现很难站在任何一边，而我最不喜欢的一种立场就是中立。。。很难写的，两头都要照顾上。。。:rolleyes:

哈哈，我也是下午才发现能换头像了，找不到合适的，先用这个了 :loveliness:

夜空的彼方UID: 159120

:)

原帖由 lazyboy 于 2007-8-20 19:55 发表
The table reveals（the） information about the the number of consumer durable, such as television, washing machine and vacuum cleaner,( what be)which are possessed in every hundred households, al ...

非常感谢！！:handshake

forbeckUID: 2297645

我记得以前看过一片对比鸭子和托福作文的文章 ，上面说美国人观点客观，喜欢看到问题的两面性，给他们写文章，就适合中立的观点~~而英国人立场鲜明，所以鸭子的作文是和谐那种支持一种观点的~~

就是不确定这种说法对不对~~

夜空的彼方UID: 159120

貌似有点道理。。。。:rolleyes:

Englishman比较古板一些，看问题可能会喜欢立场鲜明一点吧！