come on 11.15作业求批 dreamslink

dreamslinkUID: 2567006

Humanbeings,which exist on the earth as the most important part of the biosphere,influence the plant in a certain extent.Human’s activity happened on the behalf of themselves which aimed at improving the quality of living,but at the meanwhile,the negnative aspects also come with the enhancing of the living condition.when it comes to the question that wether the positive effects or the negtive one play a more important role,people’s view varies because their alien experience.However,I posit that both of them affect our plant in  different ways .The reasons for my propensity are presents as follows.
We can not deny that the human’s intellegence is so amazing that make the condition of the living better than before.We excavate the oil ,the gas,the coal which are  underground to transfer it to the energy of commodities used in the daily life.For instance,the oil could make the engine in our cars work ,then the car could take us to anywhere we want to be.The coal could be used to burned into the electricity which would light the night to be the day.The gas would help the housewivies with the cooking and make the meal easier to prepare and more delicious. All these use would make the earth a better place to live.
Admittedly,with the development of the technology which would make lives more convinient .more comfortable and more interesting,the bad things may arrive without permission.You could heard the news in the TV,radio,internet,newspaper that a large square of forest disappear in the last years or the greenhouse gases make the earth warmer than before and it will result in the melting of the ice and a higher sea level.The greenhouse gases increase with the burning of the oil ,coal and the forth.The area of the forests diminish by cutting down the trees which would be used in the architecture.
In a nutshell,the evil may follow the god.Human’s activities make the earth a better plant to live while decrease its ablity to support the lives.

[ 本帖最后由 dreamslink 于 2008-11-15 13:16 编辑 ]

dreamslinkUID: 2567006

自己顶一下 各位帮改改吧

梦想在望2008UID: 2546295

Humanbeings(Human beings),which exist on the earth as the most important part of the biosphere,influence the plant(the Earth) in a certain extent.Human’s(Human) activity happened on the behalf of themselves which aimed at improving the quality of living,but at the meanwhile(in the meantime, or meanwhile),the negnative aspects also come with the enhancing of the living condition.when it comes to the question that wether(whether) the positive effects or the negtive one(ones) play a more important role,people’s view varies because(from) their alien experience.However,I posit that both of them affect our plant in  different ways .The reasons for my propensity are presents(listed) as follows.
We can not deny that the human’s intellegence is so amazing that (加it)make(makes) the condition of the living better than before.We excavate the oil ,the gas,the coal which are underground(stored below the surface of ground) to transfer it(them) to the energy of commodities used in the daily life.For instance,the oil could make the engine in our cars work ,then the car could take us to anywhere we want to be(go).The coal could be used to burned into the electricity which would light the night to be the day.The gas would help the housewivies with the cooking and make the meal easier to prepare and more delicious. All these use would make the earth a better place to live.
Admittedly,with the development of the technology which would make lives more convinient .more comfortable and more interesting,the bad things may arrive without permission.You could heard the news in the TV,radio,internet,newspaper(有问题的句子，能听网络和报纸么？) that a large square of forest disappear(disappeared) in the last(past) years or the greenhouse gases make(made) the earth warmer than before and it will result in the melting of the ice and a higher sea level.The greenhouse gases increase with the burning of the oil ,coal and the forth.The area of the forests diminish by cutting down the trees which would be used in the architecture.
In a nutshell,the evil may follow the god.(这句话说的很好啊！)Human’s activities make the earth a better plant(planet) to live while decrease its ablity to support the lives
从正反两个方面谈话题。写得不错。

dreamslinkUID: 2567006

谢谢你哦 呵呵~~

mpromanusUID: 2565872

这位童鞋你没给题目啊。。而且俺看完了也猜不出确切题目因为你在骑墙。。所以只给你改语法拼字了。。

Human beings, which who exist on the Earth as the most important part of the biosphere, influence the planet in to a certain extent. Human’s activities happened take place on the behalf of the humans themselves (这半句很废啊..), which aimed at improving the quality of living, but at in the meanwhile, the negnative aspects also come with the enhancment of the living conditions. When it comes to the question that whether the positive effects or the negtive ones play a more important role, people’s views vary because of their alien different experiences. However,I posit that both of them affect our planet in different ways (貌似这句也很废..).The reasons for my propensity are presented as follows.

We cannot deny that the human’s intellegence is so amazing that it makes the conditions of the living better than before. We excavate the oil ,the gas,the and coal, which are underground, to transfer it transorm them to the energy of for commodities used in the daily life. For instance,the oil could make the engines in our cars work ,then the cars could take us to anywhere we want to be.(技术上来说让汽车跑的并不是原油而是汽油..petrol..而且美国口语里gas指的也是汽油gasoline，所以最好澄清一下你说的是natural gas天然气还是coal gas煤气) The Coal could be used to burned into to produce the electricity which would light the night as bright as to be the day.The Gas would help the housewivies with the cooking and make the meals easier to prepare and more delicious. All these uses would make the Earth a better place to live.

Admittedly, with the development of the technology which would make lives more convinient, more comfortable and more interesting, the bad things may arrive without permission (you can't 'permit' things like the greenhouse effect..I would suggest 'happen without notice').You could heard about the news in on the TV, radio, the internet, or newspapers that a large square of forest disappeared in the last (I suggest 'recent' or 'past') years or the greenhouse gases made the earth warmer than before and it will result in the melting of the ice and a higher sea level.The greenhouse gases increase with the burning of the oil ,coal and the forth.The area of the forests diminishes by because of cutting down of the trees which would be used in the architecture. (最好这里再稍微总结一下类似‘所以如果没有人类的活动，这些坏事情就可能不会发生’，不然有头无尾)

In a nutshell, the evil may follow the good. Human’s activities make the Earth a better planet to live while decreasing its ablity to support the living.

erm..最大的问题是你需要复习定冠词the的使用..