作文，狠拍吧

canterUID: 2577349

你是否赞成这样的观点：
People will spend less time in cooking or preparing food in twenty years.

The problem of food is closely related to the daily life of everyone. Everybody has to eat a meal in order to be alive. For these reasons, the problem of food is very important in a society. People often have cooked by themselves before. Now people have already had more choices except for cooking in their homes. What will happen in twenty years? I hold people will spend less time in cooking or preparing food. My reasons are as follows.

There is a trend in contemporary society: stress of life, pressure of work are becoming more and more heavy, and tempo of life is becoming faster and faster. All sorts of stresses force people to spend more time in learning more knowledge and skills to deal with those corresponding challenges than before. In order to gain higher education qualification, people have to study industriously. In order to get promotion, people have to work diligently. People must focus their energy and time on achieving their goals. As a result, people are pressed for time, and people have to save time by every possible means. Naturally, people would be forced to reduce time in cooking or preparing food so as to do other things better. For saving time, people would choose to have a meal in restaurants or hire other people to cook for them. The trend would become more evident in twenty years than now.

Social specification is becoming more and more fine.The catering industry has earlier separated from other trades, and grown up into an independent trade. It has developed into an industry of a large number of types and rich features. Nowadays, restaurants have been able to provide people with foods in many different kinds of flavors as well as meals with different levels of prices, which intend to satisfy the individual demands of customers. Moreover, they may deliver directly meals to people’s homes. Furthermore, along with the advancement of a society, the sanitary conditions of them have improved greatly. These may appeal to people so that they will eat outside their homes, but not cook by themselves. Also with the progress of a society in a variety of fields such as science, technology and economy, the catering industry will supply better foods and services for people in twenty years than today.

Based on the above arguments, it can be concluded apparently that people will spend less time in cooking or preparing food in twenty years.

mpromanusUID: 2565872

The problem (What problem of food? Famine? Food shortage? Food wastage? You need to be specific.) of food is closely related to the daily life of everyone. Everybody has to eat a meals in order to be stay alive. For these reasons, the problem of food is very important in a society. People often have cooked by themselves before. Now people have already had more choices (choices of what?) except for cooking in their homes. What will happen in twenty years? I hold that people will spend less time in cooking or preparing food. My reasons are as follows. (基本上整段除了最后三句话之外就是不知所云 - 因为话基本上没有说明白..比如the problem of food is very important in a society..of course food is important in a society! 看了半天也没有明白你说的problem是什么..俺明白中文文章里经常看见这种话 - 食物问题是个很严重的问题 - 但那是因为在中文习惯的语境里，所有的人都知道‘食物问题’通常指食物短缺. You just can't speak vaguely like this in English because people will not know.)

There is a trend in the contemporary society: stress of life, and pressure of work are becoming more and more heavy heavier, and tempo of life is becoming faster and faster. All sorts of stresses force people to spend more time in learning more knowledge and skills to deal with those corresponding challenges than before (离要修饰的比较级太远了，应该移到knowledge and skills后面). In order to gain higher educational qualifications, people have to study industriously. In order to get promotions, people have to work diligently. People must focus their energy and time on achieving their goals. As a result, people are pressed for time, and people have to save time by every possible means. Naturally, people would be forced to reduce time in cooking or preparing food so as to do other things better. For the purpose of saving time, people would choose to have a meals in restaurants or hire other people to cook for them. The trend would become more evident in twenty years than now. (很多people其实都可以用they代替。。另外段尾要点题，题目是 二十年后人们花在准备饭菜上的时间是不是会变少，而不是 用餐时间减少的倾向会不会在二十年内更加明显.)

Social specification (? I guess you mean 'social division of labor'?) is becoming more and more finer.The catering industry has early on separated from other trades, and grown up into an independent trade. It has developed into an industry of a large number of types and rich features. Nowadays, restaurants have been able to provide people with foods in many different kinds of flavors as well as meals with different levels of prices, which intend to satisfy the individual demands of customers. Moreover, they may deliver meals directly meals to people’s homes. Furthermore, along with the advances of a society, the sanitary conditions of them (What? Catering businesses? Restaurants?) have improved greatly. These may appeal to people so that they will eat outside their homes, but not cook by themselves. Also with the progress of a society in a variety of fields such as science, technology and economy, the catering industry will supply better foods and services for people in twenty years than today.(Again, 没有点到题。食物好和准备食物时间的多少完全是没有关系的概念..所以你这么一句话放出来读者不会看得出这和题目有什么关系.)

Based on the above arguments, it can be concluded apparently ('apparently conclude' means you're not yet sure of your conclusion..) that people will spend less time in cooking or preparing food in twenty years.

总结:

语言方面请注意比较级的用法。。逻辑方面基本上文内的评语都指出了，第一段写得过于泛泛，之后论点段都没有点到题目。这样子写出来的文章给人的感觉基本上是这样的：A-B-C-A. 一篇严谨的议论文让人感觉到的组织结构应该是这样的：A-A1-A2-B/A3-A. 请注意随时检查你是否清楚知道自己写的东西和题目是什么关系。如果你自己都不能说出哪个具体论点在说明题目的哪个方面，读者就更难从你的文章中猜了。