辛苦了~

yanglinsheepUID: 2493965

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? “Most people often let others make dicisions for them rather than make decisions by themselves.”


In the daily life, people are always facing one choice or another. These choices, some are easy to pick up, some are dilemmas that more efforts and considerations are needed. The decision you make is what the direction you choose in your life journey. But no matter how simple or how complex a decision is to make, a final decision should be eventually worked out, by the person facing it, or by the others helping him/her. From my personal point of view, too often, most people are now making decisions by themselves, deciding their own way of life.

What comes to top of my list is the fact that, from children to working staff, from men to women, people are making decisions of themselves, by themselves, and for themselves. Nowadays, contrary to the old generations, young people are good at choosing their personal tracks to walk on, without controlled by anyone but themselves. For a little kid, they have adjusted to pick up their favorite dresses, their desirable television channels, and their best-loved chocolate. For a young student, entering the society to find a job or going to university to further the study are totally their own decisions to make. They will have to decide what school with what major, or what career with what company to be fulfilled. To take a step further, when one gets old and retired, he or her still has the privilege to live in their own style, beyond their kids’ inference interference. And examples will never be listed all. So in this modern world, most people are living their own-decided ways of life.

It is obvious that making own determinations are of great advance, for no one knows better than yourself. Have you imagined the day when you are served with food all decided by the waiter? Could you bear the day when taking orders all day long? And what will the world look like if all members do predefined jobs as robots do? Intelligent is our human beings, because we can and we should think in order to make a sounded decision, not programmed and scheduled by others.

Luckily, nowadays, people have the ability to lead out a suitable decision. With the ever developing technology, people gain access to all kinds of information on a larger scale and at a faster speed. It is the Internet that provides us all-rounded data, including related theoretical knowledge and others’ experiences, to examine before a solution is found out. What cannot be left out is that, jobs offering considerable sums of money, new generations possess the economic basis of self-deciding.

To sum up, from the above statements comes the conclusion that, with the ability to decide, most people are making decisions by themselves.


另外我还写了另一个开头，
这个定义式开头会不会让文章论述起来好些呢。。
Making decisions by yourself means that when facing with choices, you can choose the one you want, totally at your personal preference. Sometimes you make the decision after a full analysis, but sometimes the decision might just emerge at ease. No matter how it comes out, own-making decisions represent you. Nowadays, from my personal point of view, people are making decisions by themselves, which reflex their own way of life.


辛苦了~~谢谢~~

mpromanusUID: 2565872

In the daily lives, people are always facing one choice or another. These choices, some of these choices (请避免按照中文的句子顺序翻成英文的写法) are easy to pick up, some are dilemmas that for which more efforts and considerations are needed. The decision you make is what the direction you choose in your life journey of life. But no matter how simple or how complex a decision is to make, a final decision should be eventually worked out, by the person facing it (What? The decision? People don't face 'decisions'. They only ARE faced WITH decisions.) , or by the others helping him/her. From my personal point of view, too often (This is a negative phrase, which means something is happening too frequently to be good. I believe this is not what you intend to express.), most people are now making decisions by themselves, deciding their own way of life.(问题是Do you agree of disagree. 所以你最好回答agree或者disagree，然后再描述你agree或者disagree的是什么 - 你现在的论点只有描述，没有回答问题。俺就再举一次吃饭的例子吧，服务员如果问你吃米饭还是面条，你可以论述现在吃米饭的人比吃面条的人多，你可以论述米饭比面条营养好，但你总得正面回答你到底是 吃米饭 还是 吃面条，不然服务员会尽力去猜你说这么多米饭的好话意思是不是就是你想吃米饭，考官可一般不会有那么好的心情。。)

What comes to on top of my list (of what?) is the fact that, from children to working staff, from men to women, people are making decisions of themselves, by themselves, and for themselves. Nowadays, contrary to the old generations, young people are good at choosing their personal tracks to walk on (我知道你想用个比喻，但实在用得有些不伦不类), without being controlled by anyone but themselves. For a little kids, they have adjusted become accustomed to pick up their favorite dresses, their desired television channels, and their best-loved (如果你觉得不想重复使用favourite, 就干净点儿说their favrouite dresses, TV channels or chocolate好了) chocolate. For a young student, entering the society to find a job or going to university to further the his studies are totally their his (请注意单复数。。写长句子的时候请随时记住主语的单复和时态) own decisions to make. They will have to decide to go to which school with for which major, or fulfill which career with which company to be fulfilled (多用主动，少用被动). To take (what?) a step further, when one gets old and retires, he or her she still has the privilege to live in their his/her own style,(怎么现在中国孩子真比美国人还讲究两性平等啊？单用he/his，不但不会被判错，还能帮助你少犯些单复数混淆的错误) beyond their his/her kids’ inference (?) interference. And examples will never be listed all (忒不地道一句..). So in this modern world, most people are living their own-decided (请不要随便发明这种复合形容词..) ways of life.

It is obvious that making one's own determinations are of great advance (这已经不是你第一次这么用了..great advantages. 俺现在真的是很好奇你从哪儿学到这么多不地道的表达的哦..), for no one knows you? better than yourself. Have you imagined the day when you are served with food all decided by the waiter? Could you bear the day when you're taking orders all day long? And what will the world look like if all members do predefined jobs as robots do? Intelligent is our are us human beings, because we can and we should think in order to make a sounded decisions, not programmed and scheduled by others.(依然是很大而化之的理论阐述。。I know you have a 'vague' idea, but you need to get beyond 'vague' to write a really substantial essay.)

Luckily, nowadays, people have the ability to lead out (No such phrase.) a suitable decisions. With the ever developing technologies, people gain access to all kinds of information on a larger scale and at a faster speed. It is the Internet that provides us all-rounded data, including related theoretical knowledge and others’ experiences, to examine before a solution is found out. What cannot be left out is that, with jobs offering considerable sums of money, new generations possess the economic basis of for self-decisions.

To sum up, from the above statements comes the conclusion that, with the ability to decide, most people are making decisions by themselves.

总结：

不地道的词组用法还是有一些，请多使用母语人士的文字资料学习。。

主要的问题还是论述太过理论化、空泛化。托福作文要看的就是你能不能把一个看似很理论的题目用很平和扎实的方式阐述出来，不要因为是议论文是讲道理的就一直讲大道理。你看过心灵鸡汤吗？西方人喜欢的讲道理就是那种的，要用详细叙述的具体事件总结出来，而不是一直讲道理。