【12月-1月IBT综合备考大帖】之【TWE作文】12月20号作业

alwaysleafUID：2519089

1. <br />
   
2. With the high-speed development of I-ink technology and the increasing concerning about the environment, it is rational to think that the Printed book will soon be replaced by e-book very soon.<br />
   
3. <br />
   
4. Ordinary, convince of the use of electronic book reader and its decreasing price made e-book possible to replace printed book. Few years ago, Sony Inc., comes out with the idea of electronic book reader that made by I-ink technology, which successfully made the electronic reader have the same size to the normal printed book. The prices of Sony’s electronic reader decrease from 500 USD to 200 USD now, made it available to more people.<br />
   
5. <br />
   
6. Next, the electronic copy of a particular book is much cheaper than its printed edition. It will cost about 50 USD to buy a copy of printed edition of Concept of Physics book, but it will only cost 9.99 USD if you but the electronic edition through Amazon.com. Meaning if you buy 5 or more electronic books, you can save the extra money for an e-reader.<br />
   
7. <br />
   
8. Last but not least, the use of e-book will save valuable nature resource and make a positive effect on environment. In order to make printed books for people to read, we need to cut down billions of trees year. During the process of printed books, many bad chemicals will also be polluted into the environment.<br />
   
9. <br />
   
10. All in all, due to the cheaper price to consume e-book rather than printed book and people’s concern of environment problem, we believe that printed book will be taken place by the e-book very soon.<br />

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[ 本帖最后由 alwaysleaf 于 2008-12-21 00:19 编辑 ]

mpromanusUID：2565872

这位童鞋请记得放上具体的题目。。不然关于论点论述的评语不保证有效，只能改语法。。另外这个字数看起来不太够。。

With the high-speed development of the e-ink technology (电子墨水是E Ink公司的私有技术，所以要用特指冠词) and the increasing concerning about the environment, it is rational to think that the printed books will soon be replaced by e-books very soon.

Ordinarily (为什么要说‘普通地’呢？没看出后面有什么‘普通’的东西啊..), convince (Do you mean 'convenience'?) of the use of electronic book readers and its their decreasing prices made it possible for e-books possible to replace printed books. Few years ago, Sony Inc., cames out with the idea of an electronic book reader that made by with the e-ink technology, which successfully made the electronic reader have the same size to as the a normal printed book. The prices of Sony’s electronic readers decrease from 500 USD to 200 USD now (Serious? I gonna get myself one of that..), which made it available to more people. (挺好的，但是这怎么就能取代了印刷书籍呢? 电子书的畅销和实用并不代表就没人看印刷书了啊。。就像夏天西瓜会卖得很好但是不代表就没人吃其它水果了啊。。)

Next, the an electronic copy of a particular book is much cheaper than its printed edition. It will cost about 50 USD to buy a printed copy of printed edition of Concept of Physics book, but it will only cost 9.99 USD if you buy the electronic edition through Amazon.com,meaning if you buy 5 or more electronic books, you can save the extra money for an e-reader. (是啊，但是这也不代表电子书就会取代印刷书籍啊。。到图书馆借一本书需要多少成本? 万一需要没有电子版的书咋办?  万一需要一它不支持的语言字体或者电子版文件格式的书籍咋办? 万一电子读书器坏了咋办? E-readers come with their own conveniences and potential problems, and you didn't really make a very persuasive argument.)

Last but not the least, the use of e-books will save valuable natural resources and make a positive effect on the environment. In order to make printed books for people to read, we need to cut down billions of trees every year. During the process of printed books, many bad harmful chemicals will also be polluted released into the environment. (Ah, the sweet gullible smell of a young environmentalist..pardon me, I was just joking :) 用不着说得好像电子读书器的制造就不破坏环境了~漂亮的金属电镀对于环境的污染和造纸印刷可是不相上下哦~任何工业都不可能不造成一定量的环境污染，只是尽量减少到自然可以接受并自己更新的程度，造纸印刷业也在不停提高，电子制造业也在不停提高，所以单方面论证是过于浅薄了~另外这还是没让人看出来为什么电子书就会取代印刷书 - 如果有一天印刷书找到新的技术，不用砍树也减少污染物排放，是不是印刷书就会重新取代电子书?)

All in all, due to the cheaper price to consume e-books rather than printed book and people’s concern of environmental problems, we believe that printed books will be taken place replaced by the e-books very soon.

总结：

语言不错，请注意单复数的使用。。论述方面请记得在每一段都要点题，至少要跟题目打个招呼，题目是问你印刷书籍会不会被电子书取代，而不是叫你论述电子书的好处。。另外就是作为议论文最好思考得深入一些，看样子你是在外国读书的，应该能接触到更全面的资料，所以会对你有些高期望~

kaoladedashuUID：2403207

LS的已经改的很详细了，我也跟着学习了。
另外，我觉得你的第一点和第二点都是从经济的角度展开，虽然在第一段开始提到了convenience这一点，但似乎并未就此展开论述，所以是不是应该调整一下。
个人愚见，互相学习，共同进步！

chineseladyUID：2403976

语法改的仔细哦.也值得我们学习.每段落的观点不是很强. 字数好象少吧

alwaysleafUID：2519089

谢谢大家的指教,先记下了,吃饭回来自己改一遍!~