通宵吐血处女作---issue212，请各位指教

mymuroUID: 2356228

212."If a goal is worthy, then any means taken to attain it is justifiable."

According to the speaker, one can take any means to realize his goal as long as it is worthy. As far as I am concerned, I agree that people should try their best to realize a goal which is worthy to them. However, I disagree the viewpoint that any means are allowed to be taken. We should just take the proper means rather than any means to attain the worthy goal.


A goal, towards which effort is directed, indicates the specific way to endeavor. For instance, a student who aims to become a astronomer, would choose a major relate to astronomy and do considerable research on it so as to attain his goal. On the contrary, without a worthy goal, any means would be useless since people don't know in which way to exert their ability. The human society is exactly developing step by step through realizing worthy goals one by one.
Undoubtedly, a worthy goal directs us which aspects to strive toward.


Nevertheless, no matter how worthy the goal is, one cannot attain it by any means beyond the range of moral values, laws, and science. In the process of obtaining his goals, Hitler, a renowned political leader, who aimed to make Germany stronger, launched World War II in which many innocent people were killed. Although Hitler did have a great goal, the means he took which against the moral values are far from justifiable. Thus, those means which break the moral values, laws and science cannot be defined as justifiable.


Last but not the least, the speaker's point of view may be too much self-confidence without considering the possible serious result induced by means. Since Mankind's knowledge and ability is limited, any means may cause unpredictable effects opposite to the original intension. It is known to all that outer space exploration plays an important role in developing the science and technology, however, a disaster may take place such as the Spaceship Columbia Accident and space garbage which may drop down on the earth. Thus, having paid more and more attention to the safety problem, NASA is now taking necessary measures to prevent the possible accident. The case above warns us that we should take proper means rather than any means when achieving a worthy goal.


In a word, due to analysis and reasons mentioned above, the speaker's viewpoint is unilateral.  We should consider deeply that whether the mean would bring us unpredictable lose that is opposite to our original porpose. Only proper means can be regard as justifiable when achieving a worthy goal.


今天通宵到5点，快趴下了

请各位G友不吝赐教下吧:loveliness:

mymuroUID: 2356228

自顶一个:)

mymuroUID: 2356228

In the process of obtaining his goals, Hitler, a renowned political leader, who aimed to make Germany stronger, launched World War II in which many innocent people were killed. Although Hitler did have a great goal, the means he took which against the moral values are far from justifiable.

想问一下，大家觉得Hitler这个例子是不是有点不恰当？

corpuscleUID: 2503411

212."If a goal is worthy, then any means taken to attain it is justifiable."
这个题目要把握什么目标是worthy？如何定义这个worthy？然后论证那个any和justifiable，不同人有不同理解，关键看个人如何对这几个字眼的解释了。
According to the speaker, one can take any means to realize his goal as long as it is worthy. As far as I am concerned（In my opinion吧，前面刚一个as …as，这里又一个）, I agree that people should try their best to realize a goal which is worthy to them. However, I disagree the viewpoint that any means are allowed to be taken. We should just take the proper means rather than any means to attain the worthy goal.看来你是要否定means，不讨论goal。段一段之间空一行而不是两行。


A goal, towards which effort is directed, indicates the specific way to endeavor. For instance, a student who aims to become an astronomer（逗号去掉） would choose a major relate to astronomy and do considerable research on it so as to attain his goal. On the contrary, without a worthy goal, any means would be useless since people don't know in which way to exert their ability. The human society is exactly developing step by step through realizing worthy goals one by one（前面并没有去具体论证啊，这个结论如何得到的？）. Undoubtedly, a worthy goal directs us which aspects to strive toward.你这里说的是目标的作用，从正反两方面论证，问题是论证有些空洞，导致缺乏力度，网上应该有很多关于目标的意义的，不妨搜一下。另外，这里也没有突出worthy，忽略了关键词


Nevertheless, no matter how worthy the goal is, one cannot attain it by any means beyond the range of moral values, laws, and science（？为什么不能超越科学？）. TS后面再具体论证下，直接举例有些突然。In the process of obtaining his goals, Hitler, a renowned political leader, who aimed to make Germany stronger（其实他的目的是要统一世界，不是这个目的，目标就不正义，当然手段也不正义）, launched World War II in which many innocent people were killed. Although Hitler did have a great goal, the means he took which against the moral values are far from justifiable（这里重点说说means如何危害人类的，强调不当手段的恶果）. Thus, those means which break the moral values, laws and science cannot be defined as justifiable.


Last but not （去掉the）least, the speaker's point of view may be too much self-confidence without considering the possibly serious result induced by means. Since Mankind's knowledge and ability is limited, any means（从你后面的论证，我觉得这里应该说采取安全科学的方式，防止不当的方法带来的灾难） may cause unpredictable effects opposite to the original intension. It is known to all that outer space exploration plays an important role in developing the science and technology, however, a disaster may take place such as the Spaceship Columbia Accident and space garbage which may drop down on the earth（写这个素材的时候，最好点名下这个灾难和空间垃圾的原因，是不是因为方法不当？然后写宇航局采取了措施的效果，正反比较）. Thus, having paid more and more attention to the safety problem, NASA is now taking necessary measures to prevent the possible accident. The case above warns us that we should take proper means rather than any means when achieving a worthy goal.


In a word, due to analysis and reasons mentioned above, the speaker's viewpoint is unilateral.  We should consider deeply that whether the mean would bring us unpredictable lose that is opposite to our original porpose. Only proper means can be regard as justifiable when achieving a worthy goal.
思路是不错的，刚开始写肯定会有不少问题，逻辑、论证、素材啊~~！多写几篇慢慢克服这些问题会好很多。大家都是从这个阶段过来的，坚持下去，加油~~！

mymuroUID: 2356228

谢谢cc斑竹了O(∩_∩)O
不知道为什么改别人的文章总能找出论证方面的错误，但是自己写又老是犯错。。。
PS:Hitler那例子我也觉得不太恰当，不过当时想不到别的例子