【08原创】手把手独立写作指南

BALLON6UID: 2576833

UP一个先。。

jiang08UID: 2391146

8/10更新：增加了我对issue和ibt作文的不同理解

libra5UID: 2676988

With the advent of computer technology, especially the internet, more and more students choose to take their courses online for a brand-new learning experience. On the other hand, the traditional classroom learning seems to be facing more challenges. Is online education feasible? Yes,
it is probably good as well(这句话改了,原句不是完整句). Will classroom learning be displaced? I believe not.

结构：背景+观点
句型使用：设问句表示观点
词汇: brand-new

be frank, online education provides fresh learning experience unheard of before.
The most distinct benefit comes from a flexible schedule. Students, especially adults with part-time jobs or even full-time jobs, take full advantage of this point. They are now free to choose any program that fits into their daily schedule. Compared with the traditional idea of “going to school”, this is better illustrated as “the school is going to you”. Another obvious advantage is the multi-media learning platform. Computer technology promises vivid short plays, detailed lectures and even games designed for the course, all of which appeal to students a great deal.

结构:
主题句+小观点1+小观点2
句型：插入语，比较，并列，定语从句
词汇:
unheard of before(这个写法看都没看过啊), illustrated as, appeal to, vivid
总结：online education的好处，这段写的真好啊！

However, it is clear to me that online education has certain innate setbacks which render it unable to compete with the traditional classroom learning. Firstly, communication is very limited online. The opponent may argue chat-rooms are great tools. However, face-to-face communication can never be replaced, because it conveys information besides the words that form a sentence, but also intonations and body language. Facial expressions and gestures all facilitate understanding during a conversation. Suppose a student(例子) finds part of the lecture baffling, he can directly ask the professor in the classroom and probably they will communicate with the help of notes, pictures, blackboards and their body language. These tools are simply impossible to combine during an online course.

结构：过渡句+主题句+论证+例子
句型:
强调句
词汇:
facilitate
总结: 通过比较和转折说明online的一个缺点

Yet another important downside of online education is that it has the potential of turning students into negative learners, because they do not and cannot participate in classroom activities. Since everyone is learning by his or her own on a computer, chances are slim that they can form real-life study groups, which in a traditional setting do projects and researches together. For example, if a student enrolls in an online drama class, it’s natural to play a part in the drama to gain in-depth perspectives on this topic. However, the student is unable to join the activity online, simply because it is not feasible. Gradually, the drama topic seems to be drifting away from the student because he is not actively involved in the learning process. (这句话会多余么？或者直接合并到前面一句去simply because it is not feasible and will be drifting away from the students gradually?)A traditional classroom setting, on the other hand, provides a lot more opportunities for students to take an active role in the learning process.

结构：主题句+论证+例子
词汇: feasible, drift away from
总结：该段似乎为因果论证，到处充斥着because

To sum up, online education is fascinating in some ways and does offer different learning experience. However, it cannot and should not replace traditional classroom learning, due to the lack of communication and participation. A classroom always remains the best place to learn.

结构：body部分总结一遍(online好处+online不好之处)
总结：俺也喜欢这么结尾，哈！不过总觉得略显中庸。好处是紧扣主题，首尾呼应，ibt作文也没那么多空间去发挥。


水平有限，分析的不好。不过今天终于看到30分的作文长什么样了，差距真是大，我还要多努力。jang可以的话，多挑几篇文章给大家讲解讲解哦。嘿嘿！特别最近几个月的预测题目，都是问是否A比B重要，A是最好的..都是这类题目，相比以前题目要难写些了。

libra5UID: 2676988

多发了一遍...

DriftKingUID: 2664045

真是个牛人啊 有双隐形的翅膀

wupengusUID: 2661197

写的真好，获益了

qinx04UID: 2673115

支持lz！
不断练习~~~

tinaguiUID: 2635351

If they study all the time and have not enough leisure time,

上面这句话很怪异 是不是要说 have no enough leisure time or dont have enough leisure time
而且我个人不太喜欢同一个词在同一个句子里面重复出现 可以说not enough on leisure~ 换个句型 把句子改一改

jiang08UID: 2391146

8/28更新：增加了关于作文提纲的一点看法

corrUID: 2406665

THX楼主~~
受教~~

veacyUID: 2687027

:D谢谢~~~

xushuguo123UID: 2448510

赞一个

NewYorker2010UID: 2660379

顶08JJ 哈哈 牛
个人觉得如果中间三段都是A的好处不是那么容易写全的 可能会不mutually exclusive
所以我认同这样的观点：
Body2:  Admittedly, B也不错，at least to some extent.(or  when it comes to)。这里说B好的让步最多2句话。 然后马上写However， A的分论点一
Body3：A的分论点二
Body4：A的分论点三（如果没有了或者时间不够了的话，就在Body3后面多说几句Besides就行了）
个人拙见。

woshichensidaUID: 2623391

强大

mwmw0327UID: 2678088

谢谢楼主，今天看过这篇帖子找到了提高的切入口~~