ISSUE38 ★无敌拍场★ 欢迎拍拍

dudujasperUID: 2180289

ISSUE38 "In the age of television, reading books is not as important as it once was. People can learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books."


OUTLINE：
论点：电视确实已经成为一种重要的学习手段，但是并不能因此说明读书学习不如以前了
  P1：电视通过生动的画面和丰富的信息，确实成为一种很好的学习手段
  P2：但是通过电视学习需要接受和传送的设备以及费用，但是现在还有很多人负担不起这些费用，因此书籍因为它比较便宜的费用而广为使用
  P3：电视播出的节目是固定的，其时间段和内容并不能符合每个人的要求
  P4：电视不能实现随时的暂停和开始，我们通过它学习的过程是一个被动的，其效率则可能会降低

WORD：591

Having served as an auxiliary equipment on learning, televisions are already accepted widely. A more vivid and direct way of study is provided by these equipments. However, books, by their certain advantages in flexibility, are still important on learning.

To begin with, in our contemporary society, there is a steady increase in the number of people who are willing to spend their time on televisions. Televisons can provide us abundant information and vivid pictures. A latest piece of news, a biological lecture and an analysis on the stock market can be found in a series of programs on televisions easily. More interests on learning will be intrigued with an integration of automated animation and slides into the programs. Besides, all kinds of programs are classified according to their subjects. For example, HBO, a special broadcasting station, broadcasts movies exclusively. Thus, more convenience is involved into the course of searching. Furthermore, almost all the knowledge contained in books can be performed on screens. From these visions, televisions certainly play an important role on learning.

Notwithstanding a prevalence of televisions, the assertion that reading books is on a less important situation than it is before is ungrounded. The prerequisite for watching televisions is limited by the equipments on receiving and broadcasting. But there still have large numbers of people live in poverty. In some areas in Africa, for example, they can not afford these equipments, nor could they afford the fees on broadcasting. It is an extravagance for them to watching televisions. By comparison, books are more economical. Reading books, then , is becoming more important on their learning. Accordingly, books gain a wide-spreading use for their inexpensive charges.

Although there is not a financial problem on using televisions in developed countries, books are no less important. The programs on televisions, controlled by the workers in the broadcasting station, can not fulfill everyone's requests. A fixed time and content in broadcasting restrains lots of people from watching them. It is impossible to take an initiative on selecting programs, but to receive them passively. You might be annoyed, for instance, about missing a significant lecture for a delay of thirty minutes by bus. However, books can never cause such problems. On the contrary, they can offer flexibilities on skiping an acquainted chapter, revising an obscure problem and continuing with the next paragraph. Besides, they have no restrictions on time.

Additionally, even there is no restriction on time, the efficiency on learning migth be reduced by watching televisions. Take a mathematic lecture as an example. By the way of televisions, there is little freedom to choose pause or start. Thus a persistent action on receiving the information passively from the lecture, will cause a visual and bodily tiredness. From this tiredness, less energy will be concentrated on. As a result, there will have a vague memory on details of the train of thought. Moreover, the signals, transmitted by televisions is a series of connected pictures. It is impossible for us to pause the program when meeting an indigestible part in the course of solving a mathematic problem. There is almost no spare time to thinking and to comprehending. Due to a connected link between each part in such kind of problem, we can hardly understand next steps. But, the information, transmitted by books, provides us a repeated reading, thinking and polishing.

Reading books, as a traditional way of learning, has no less importance than watching televisions. And by the combination of those two methods on learning, people can learn the knowledge more impressively and effectively.

[ 本帖最后由 dudujasper 于 2006-2-21 23:24 编辑 ]

rosewmUID: 2183870

Having served as an auxiliary equipment on learning, televisions are already accepted widely. A more vivid and direct way of study is provided by these equipments. However, books, by their certain advantages in flexibility, are still important on learning.

To begin with, in our contemporary society, there is a steady increase in the number of people who are willing to spend their time on televisions. Televisons can provide us abundant information and vivid pictures. A latest piece of news, a biological lecture and an analysis on the stock market can be found in a series of programs on televisions easily. More interests on learning will be intrigued with an integration of automated animation and slides into the programs. Besides, all kinds of programs are classified according to their subjects. For example, HBO, a special broadcasting station, broadcasts movies exclusively. Thus, more convenience is involved into the course of searching.[感觉上，从这方面来论证电视的优势，不是很恰当] Furthermore, almost all the knowledge contained in books can be performed on screens. [这一点完全可以再展开多说说啊^_^]From these visions, televisions certainly play an important role on learning.

Notwithstanding a prevalence of televisions, the assertion that reading books is on a less important situation than it is before is ungrounded. The prerequisite for watching televisions is limited by the equipments on receiving and broadcasting. But there still have large numbers of people live in poverty. In some areas in Africa, for example, they can not afford these equipments, nor could they afford the fees on broadcasting. It is an extravagance for them to watching televisions. By comparison, books are more economical.[我觉得应该说reading book is more...] Reading books, then , is becoming more important on their learning. Accordingly, books gain a wide-spreading use for their inexpensive charges.[我感觉在发达国家的情况并不是这样的，他们很注重版权，一本书常常贵的要死，看电视倒是挺便宜的，不知道ETS会不会认可你这个观点]
Although there is not a financial problem on using televisions in developed countries, books are no less important. The programs on televisions, controlled by the workers in the broadcasting station, can not fulfill everyone's requests. A fixed time and content in broadcasting restrains lots of people from watching them. It is impossible to take an initiative on selecting programs, but to receive them passively. You might be annoyed, for instance, about missing a significant lecture for a delay of thirty minutes by bus. However, books can never cause such problems. On the contrary, they can offer flexibilities on skiping an acquainted chapter, revising an obscure problem and continuing with the next paragraph. Besides, they have no restrictions on time.

Additionally, even there is no restriction on time, the efficiency on learning migth be reduced by watching televisions. Take a mathematic lecture as an example. By the way of televisions, there is little freedom to choose pause or start. Thus a persistent action on receiving the information passively from the lecture, will cause a visual and bodily[用physical好些吧] tiredness. From this tiredness, less energy will be concentrated on. As a result, there will have a vague memory on details of the train of thought. Moreover, the signals, transmitted by televisions is a series of connected pictures. It is impossible for us to pause the program when meeting an indigestible part in the course of solving a mathematic problem. There is almost no spare time to thinking and to comprehending. Due to a connected link between each part in such kind of problem, we can hardly understand next steps. But, the information, transmitted by books, provides us a repeated reading, thinking and polishing.

Reading books, as a traditional way of learning, has no less importance than watching televisions. And by the combination of those two methods on learning, people can learn the knowledge more impressively and effectively.

写的真好，每一段都讲的很清楚
我要向你学习^_^
我刚开始写，如果有改错的，或者观点不正确的，还请见谅，也帮我解释一下你的意见，谢谢！

dudujasperUID: 2180289

非常谢谢你的修改
我也才写不久，一起加油哦
关于那个读书贵还是便宜的问题，我指的是在不发达和贫穷的地区，读书是比较能够让他们承受的起的一种学习方式，毕竟和电视学习所需的电视机和发射台那些设备比，书籍还是便宜很多的，我那段论证的还是不够清楚~

[ 本帖最后由 dudujasper 于 2006-2-22 18:20 编辑 ]

lyan1102UID: 2148674

ISSUE38 "In the age of television, reading books is not as important as it once was. People can learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books."


OUTLINE：
论点：电视确实已经成为一种重要的学习手段，但是并不能因此说明读书学习不如以前了
  P1：电视通过生动的画面和丰富的信息，确实成为一种很好的学习手段
  P2：但是通过电视学习需要接受和传送的设备以及费用，但是现在还有很多人负担不起这些费用，因此书籍因为它比较便宜的费用而广为使用
  P3：电视播出的节目是固定的，其时间段和内容并不能符合每个人的要求
  P4：电视不能实现随时的暂停和开始，我们通过它学习的过程是一个被动的，其效率则可能会降低

WORD：591

Having served as an auxiliary equipment on learning, televisions are already accepted widely. A more vivid and direct way of study is provided by these equipments. [前两句话好像应该和在一起说，楼主看这么改怎么样：Providing a more vivid and direct expression of knowledge,  the television has been already accepted widely as an auxiliary equipment on learning. ] However, books, by their certain advantages in flexibility, are still important on learning. [我觉得最后一句点主题的话有点不足。楼主在前面说电视，所以however 后应该还是说跟电视又关的，比如电视不能代替书之类的，如果只说书就显得有点脱节了]


To begin with, in our contemporary society, there is a steady increase in the number of people who are willing to spend their time on televisions. Televisions [For they] can provide us abundant information and vivid pictures. A latest piece of news, a biological lecture and an analysis on the stock market can be found in a series of programs on televisions easily. More interests on learning will be intrigued with an integration of automated animation and slides into the programs [这两句的衔接不太好，我试着改了一下，不过不是很明白后一句话，请楼主推敲一下]. Besides, all kinds of programs are classified according to their subjects. For example, HBO, a special broadcasting station, broadcasts movies exclusively. Thus, more convenience is involved into the course of searching [改变顺序大改了一下：Besides, all kinds of programs are classified according to their subjects, which can bring more convenience in the course of searching. For example, if you need some movies, you should only pay more attention to HBO, a special station broadcasting films exclusively]. Furthermore, almost all the knowledge contained in books can be performed on screens.  From these visions, televisions certainly play an important role on learning.
本段的论证应该主要落在电视的直观和生动上，在这个有点上多下功夫，最后一个原因最好不要，因为不可能书上所有的东西都能在电视上体现出来，这本身就否定了书的一些优点，比如书能系统的表述知识等~~

Notwithstanding a [the] prevalence of televisions, the assertion that reading books is on a less important situation than it is before is ungrounded. The prerequisite for watching televisions is limited by the equipments on receiving and broadcasting. But there [+are] still have [-have] large numbers of people live [living] in poverty. In some areas in Africa, for example, they can not afford these equipments, [可用neither… nor, 后者只在后半句用let alone the fees…] nor could they afford the fees on broadcasting. [So] It is an extravagance for them to watching [watch] televisions. By comparison, books are more economical. [这后面应该展开说一下是怎么廉价的] Reading books, then, is becoming more important on their learning. Accordingly, books gain a wide-spreading [wide-spread是形容词] use for their inexpensive charges.

Although there is not a financial problem on using televisions in developed countries, books are no less important. The programs on televisions, controlled by the workers in the broadcasting station, can not fulfill everyone's requests. A fixed time and content in broadcasting restrains [restrain] lots of people from watching them. It is impossible to take an initiative on selecting programs, but to receive them passively. You might be annoyed, for instance, about missing a significant lecture for a delay of thirty minutes by bus.[再接一个日常例子吧，显得更充实点 you may also…] However, books can never cause such problems. On the contrary, they can offer flexibilities on skipping an acquainted chapter, revising an obscure problem and continuing with the next paragraph. Besides, they have no restrictions on time.[再就这句话展开说一下]

Additionally, even there is no restriction on time, the efficiency on learning might be reduced [waken] by watching televisions. Take a mathematic lecture as an example. By the way of [+watching] televisions, there is little freedom to choose pause or start. Thus [And] a persistent action on receiving the information passively from the lecture, will cause a visual and bodily tiredness. From this tiredness [In such situation], less energy will be concentrated on. As a result, there will have [be] a vague memory on details of the train of thought. Moreover, the signals, transmitted by televisions is a series of connected pictures. It is impossible for us to pause the program when meeting an indigestible part in the course of solving a mathematic problem. (There is almost) [which leave us] no spare time to thinking and to comprehending [think and comprehend]. Due to a connected link between each part in such kind of problem, we can hardly understand next steps. But, the information, transmitted by books, provides us a repeated reading, thinking and polishing. [这里跟上一段的结尾处重复了，不如把上段写书的地方改称我们可以主动的选择书的内容和看书的时间，而这一段是对于电视和书都允许的同一知识的接收程度来说]
[总的来说这段写的最好！]

Reading books, as a traditional way of learning [提前], has no less importance than watching televisions. And by the combination of those two methods on learning, people can learn the knowledge more impressively and effectively.

[楼主的句子写的不错，就是在衔接方面有待加强；还有就是无论提出什么观点，一定要展开，哪怕是举出一个一句话的例子（在大牛的经验里学到的）；还有就是在本篇的内容上我个人认为应该再增加一些对于书的论证，因为题目中第一句话的主体就是书~
以上均为本人愚见，不当之处可以互相切磋~]

dudujasperUID: 2180289

修改的好认真
感动ING~~~我也觉得我写文章的时候有点断档的感觉，思路有点跳~句子也就~~5555