Argument45 【越洋农场站队】morallrey同主题写作

morallreyUID：2191298

TOPIC: ARGUMENT45 - The following appeared as an editorial in a wildlife journal.

"Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic region. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of a year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed, and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining. Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the decline in arctic deer populations is the result of deer being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea."

WORDS: 414         TIME: 35        DATE: 2006-7-28

北极鹿生活在加拿大极地区域的岛屿上。它们全年都通过冰块在岛屿间移动来寻找食物。它们的栖居地局限在那些温暖得足以维持它们所需的植物生长，并且在一年的至少某些时候冷到足以让岛屿间的海面结冰以使它们能够在岛屿间旅行的地方。然而，根据当地猎人的报告，鹿的数量正在下降。由于这一报告正好与最近导致海洋冰面融化的全球变暖趋势同时发生，我们可以得出结论：北极鹿数量的下降是它们无法按它们原有的迁移习惯穿越结冰海面的结果。

      To reinforce his summing-up that a dropping-down in arctic deer population is caused by contemporary warming trends, rendering deer being unable to go after their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea, the arguer mentioned in the argument that the decrease coincide with the trends. However, after meticulous analysis of the ratiocination, several fallacies reveal in a obvious way, which I would I illustrate in details below.

     First and foremost, the population-decline of deer, reported by hunters living on hunting for wild animals, is doubtful, since the hunters cannot be cognizant of the total population in the region as a whole. Apparently, hunters are just hunters, they cannot be precise in determining the density of deer in the area where they go hunting, for they don't possess such knowledge, technology as well as implements as experts who can exactly determine the population of deer by sampling, a method of statistics, which is a scientific way to survey the total amount of the numbers of the deer in any given region. What hunters can do in calculating the amount of deer in their hunting region, as I predict, is to estimate it by the number of prey, the way of which is absolutely unreliable.

      Furthermore, admiting the reports that the population of deer was decreasing coincides with the recent globlal warming trends, the arguer directly aver that the decline was caused by such trends, which is also of doubt. As is known to all, global warming is an chronic phenomenon appearing in the whole areas across the globe, the trends may include in it certain bit of increase in some region and in a certain period as it is a macroscopic phenomenon caused by the activity of wrong-headed human being. Maybe the climate in arctic region hasn't become warmer, but rather colder. If this was the case, it’s unreasonable to link the decline of population of deer with the global warming trends, which though can melt the sea ice , can not be the direct reason.

      To sum up, the reasoning of the argument is fallacious in that it not only cites a report from hunters, whose proclamation is questionable, but also considers the coincidence of the report of population decline of deer and global warming trends a causal relation. As truth bears all lights, the possibilities only mentioned above are not ruled out, so in order to make the argument more convincing, the arguer has to be more meticulous in citing his reports and make more cogent linkage.

     请战友们拍砖!

[ 本帖最后由 morallrey 于 2006-7-28 23:57 编辑 ]

pewcg8UID：2143213

占.

pewcg8UID：2143213

To reinforce(这个词是否能够替代substantiate?) his summing-up that a dropping-down in arctic deer population is caused by contemporary warming trends, rendering deer being unable to go after their age-old(什么意思?) migration patterns across the frozen sea, the arguer mentioned in the argument that the decrease coincide with the trends. However, after meticulous analysis of the ratiocination, several fallacies reveal in a obvious way, which I would I illustrate in details below.
作者开头段没有简单的找抄原文.比较好,有的表达似乎可以再推敲一下.

     First and foremost, the population-decline of deer, reported by hunters living on hunting for wild animals, is doubtful, since the hunters cannot be cognizant of the total population in the region as a whole. Apparently, hunters are just hunters, they cannot be precise in determining the density of deer in the area where they go hunting, for they don't possess such knowledge, (这个好象有点牵强)technology as well as implements as experts who can exactly determine the population of deer by sampling, a method of statistics, which is a scientific way to survey the total amount of the numbers of the deer in any given region. What hunters can do in calculating the amount of deer in their hunting region, as I predict, is to estimate it by the number of prey, the way of which is absolutely unreliable.(说的很好啊,继续说下去啊?)

      Furthermore, admiting the reports that the population of deer was decreasing coincides with the recent globlal warming trends, the arguer directly avers that the decline was caused by such trends, which is also of doubt. As is known to all, global warming is an chronic phenomenon appearing in the whole areas across the globe, the trends may include in it certain bit of increase in some region and in a certain period as it is a macroscopic phenomenon caused by the activity of wrong-headed human being. (这个有点多余)Maybe the climate in arctic region hasn't become warmer, but rather colder. If this was the case, it’s unreasonable to link the decline of population of deer with the global warming trends, which though can melt the sea ice , can not be the direct reason.
怎么就两个攻击段落?应该再来一个比较好.
      To sum up, the reasoning of the argument is fallacious in that it not only cites a report from hunters, whose proclamation is questionable, but also considers the coincidence of the report of population decline of deer and global warming trends a causal relation. As truth bears all lights, the possibilities only mentioned above are not ruled out, so in order to make the argument more convincing, the arguer has to be more meticulous in citing his reports and make more cogent linkage.

总结:
1.语言比较善于变化,不死板.
2.结构正确,筐架明确.
3.缺点是攻击不太充分，应该再展开一点.

morallreyUID：2191298

多谢pewcg8
当时没写两段是看见时间不个够了
分析展开还是与pewcg8相去甚远