CLIMATE小组第一次作业(issue2 求拍)

圆圆^_^UID: 2422452

2、"Competition is ultimately more beneficial than detrimental to society."

Ever since the Lord-made Adam and his wife ate the fruits of the tree of knowledge of good and evil in the middle of Eden, competition came forth at the same time. Admittedly, egregious and unwarrantable competition may do harm to our social stability, I still agree with the recommender that competition is definitely more beneficial to the development of various realms of the society and redounds to individuals’ improvement as well.

Firstly, in the academe, competition serves as a force which urges scholars to immerse themselves in their subjects and then lead the technology to climb up to a higher level. Consider the current professor-employment system as an illustration. If a professor of some famous universities wants to stay in their positions enduringly, two or more significant academic papers should be published due to the competition pressures from other qualified scholars. Otherwise, he/she will surely be demoted to a lower position and be replaced by others.

Then, in the field of economy, competition is needed to ensure the stability and legally running of the market. For one thing, the merchants would try their best to provide products and services of higher quality to hold and even to enlarge their market. Thus, consumers can get what they want at rational prices. For another, under such furious competition, any cooperation which dares cheat on the consumers will be chunked out from the marketplace certainly. Reviewing the business circles of United States, many businessmen who had played tricks on consumers chose to go to their early graves just because they cannot afford the blames from the authority, the media, and the demos.

Moreover, as to political circles, it is competition that plays an important role to supervise the political parties. With competition from the other parties, the ruling party would realize the promises it once made; with it, the ruling party would offer better services to the people and society; and with it, the ruling party will plan out more beneficial policies for the national development. Imagining that there is not the competition pressure from the Democratic Party, it will incline Bush, the prolocutor of the Republican, to be dictatorial consequentially.

Finally, most people become more dynamic and aspirant once competition is injected into their lives. According to a recent survey launched by the Ministry of Education of China, students studying in an environment with proper competition have high possibilities to succeed than those who live more easefully.  

Hence, it is easy to draw a conclusion that if the competition itself is treated rightly, society and people will gain more assistance instead of resistance from it. (434 words)   

[ 本帖最后由 圆圆^_^ 于 2007-11-11 12:38 编辑 ]

LeonS.KennedyUID: 194492

Ever since the Lord-made Adam and his wife ate the fruits of the tree of knowledge of good and evil in the middle of Eden, competition came forth at the same time. Admittedly, egregious and unwarrantable competition may do harm to our social stability,(admittedly是让步，让步完了，这里少了一转折词) I still agree with the recommender(没有这个单词的，而且你同意的是speaker's opinion that……，不是speaker that……) that competition is definitely more beneficial to the development of various realms of the society and redounds to individuals’ improvement as well.

Firstly, in the academe, competition serves as a force which urges scholars to immerse themselves in their subjects and then lead the technology to climb up to a higher level. Consider the current professor-employment system as an illustration. If a professor （后面是许多大学，前面是否也要用复数呢？）of some famous universities wants to stay in their positions enduringly, two or more significant academic papers should be published due to the competition pressures from other qualified scholars. Otherwise, he/she will surely be demoted to a lower position and be replaced by others.

Then, in the field of economy, competition is needed(necessary) to ensure the stability and legally running of the market. For one thing, the merchants would try their best to provide products and services of higher quality to hold and even to enlarge their market. Thus, consumers can get what they want at rational prices. For another, under such furious (虽然有激烈的意思，但是大部分是形容情绪的，可以换一下啊)competition, any cooperation which dares （to）cheat on the consumers will be chunked out（没查到这种说法） from the marketplace certainly. Reviewing the business circles of United States, many businessmen who had played tricks on consumers chose to （choose 后接不定式，是宁愿做……的意思，没有选择的意思）go to their early graves just because they cannot afford the blames from the authority, the media, and the demos可不可以不用这种生僻词啊？文章中貌似很多啊^_^.

Moreover, as to political circles（你是想说派系吗？factions）, it is competition that plays an important role to supervise the political parties结构有问题. With competition from the other parties, the ruling party（执政党the party in power） would realize the promises it once made; with it, the ruling party would offer better services to the people and society; and with it, the ruling party will plan out more beneficial policies for the national development. Imagining that there is not the competition pressure from the Democratic Party, it will incline Bush, the prolocutor of the Republican, to be dictatorial consequentially.

Finally, most people become more dynamic and aspirant once competition is injected into their lives. According to a recent survey launched by the Ministry of Education of China, students studying in an environment with proper competition have high possibilities to succeed than those who live more easefully.  

Hence, it is easy to draw a conclusion that if the competition itself is treated rightly, society and people will gain more assistance instead of resistance from it. (434 words)

admittedly之后的反面例子可以展开写一下；另外，遣词造句上可以再细腻一些。还是不错的^_^

[ 本帖最后由 LeonS.Kennedy 于 2007-11-12 11:00 编辑 ]