寄托天下
查看: 2641|回复: 15

[求助] 8T同主题写作第5期--topic: 178 (netmaster) [复制链接]

Rank: 2

声望
0
寄托币
243
注册时间
2006-8-2
精华
0
帖子
0
发表于 2006-8-13 20:48:57 |显示全部楼层
第一篇178:请不要手下留情,尽量拍砖!当然改好了我也会帮你改的。
The 21st century has begun. In the past century, man has set a new mind-blowing rate for the change of the world. New concepts are being conceived every minute of everyday, all of which have impacted humans in some aspect. Then what changes will the new century bring to us? As far as I am concerned, I believe that the improvement of communication and environment will be the two main changes in the new century.

One of the primary changes that will take place in the new century is in communication. With the advancement of new technologies such as computers and internet, more and more people can enjoy the happiness of communicating with others. For example, the internet will allow us to access any information our hearts desire, bringing convenience and efficiency to thousands of average families as well as the work place. With the power of tomorrow’s computers and internet, one can receive information from any country in the world allowing individuals the ability to locate and acquire anything imaginable. Furthermore, instead of making long distance telephone calls, people with a computer and an internet connection will be able to chat for free with their friends and colleagues anytime and anywhere in the world.

On the other hand, the new century will change the very way the environment operates today. First of all, animals in the nature state are part of the wonder of creation and the beauty of the world. However, as a result of the steady growth of the world’s population, there is less and less room on our planet for wild animals, which is also a disaster for humans. Thus the most obvious development in environment will be that human will create more nature reserves for wild animals where they can wonder around, be fed and reproduce. Another change in environment will be that the air and water will be cleaner. Clean air and water is not only for human life, but also for all life on the planet. Nevertheless, the air is being polluted by modern transportation, notably gas-powered automobiles and electrical generators which burn fossil fuel and pour polluting chemical waster into the air. Thus, if we humans do not change the air and water pollution in the new century, air and water on the earth will be much less healthy to breathe and drink.

In a word, humans will continue their advancement in the new century. This will not only bring convenience to man’s communication but also makes the environment more comfortable and favorable to humans.

[ 本帖最后由 netmaster 于 2006-8-13 23:05 编辑 ]

topic 178.doc

21.5 KB, 下载次数: 9

使用道具 举报

Rank: 5Rank: 5

声望
0
寄托币
1707
注册时间
2006-1-21
精华
0
帖子
7
发表于 2006-8-13 21:02:26 |显示全部楼层
不是我说啊,不要照抄XDF的话啊,有段话我今天刚背的啊,汗。。。
飘过~~飘过~~


招财猫,招offer喽!

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
0
寄托币
243
注册时间
2006-8-2
精华
0
帖子
0
发表于 2006-8-13 21:26:42 |显示全部楼层
什么话呢?再说就算是XDF的话,用一下他们的好句子又怎么样呢?

[ 本帖最后由 netmaster 于 2006-8-13 21:32 编辑 ]

使用道具 举报

Rank: 4

声望
0
寄托币
1582
注册时间
2006-5-6
精华
1
帖子
5
发表于 2006-8-13 22:35:08 |显示全部楼层
要是用重复了 就死定啦 会很惨的

使用道具 举报

Rank: 4

声望
0
寄托币
1582
注册时间
2006-5-6
精华
1
帖子
5
发表于 2006-8-13 22:39:23 |显示全部楼层
写的很流畅阿  不过我觉得这个topic可能性几乎为零 因为是对新世纪初比较合适的

使用道具 举报

Rank: 5Rank: 5

声望
0
寄托币
1707
注册时间
2006-1-21
精华
0
帖子
7
发表于 2006-8-13 22:40:30 |显示全部楼层
当然可以用,用了会怎么样,use your mind!!!


只是提醒一下,你愿意cheating,就继续,当我没说


好心当成。。。:L


原帖由 netmaster 于 2006-8-13 21:26 发表
什么话呢?再说就算是XDF的话,用一下他们的好句子又怎么样呢?
飘过~~飘过~~


招财猫,招offer喽!

使用道具 举报

Rank: 5Rank: 5

声望
0
寄托币
1707
注册时间
2006-1-21
精华
0
帖子
7
发表于 2006-8-13 22:42:05 |显示全部楼层
顺便再说一下,别人的东西就不用拿到这边来给我们改了,本来想看看的,现在觉得浪费我的时间
飘过~~飘过~~


招财猫,招offer喽!

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
0
寄托币
243
注册时间
2006-8-2
精华
0
帖子
0
发表于 2006-8-13 22:55:40 |显示全部楼层
原帖由 yingyio 于 2006-8-13 22:40 发表
当然可以用,用了会怎么样,use your mind!!!


只是提醒一下,你愿意cheating,就继续,当我没说


好心当成。。。:L



谢谢你的提醒,但是我可以郑重地告诉你我没有cheating, 虽然里面地有些句子可能是和新东方的有一定的相似,但是我并不是照搬照抄,只是加以巧妙地灵活利用罢了,还有我写的每篇文章都是我模拟现场考试地环境写的,有的句子因为看的范文多了,难免写着写着就自然地流露出来了。是的,我承认我是背过一些范文。但是我觉得学习英语最有效的方法离不开背诵,只有真正背过一些优秀的英语作文的人,考试是才能写出一篇好文章来。

使用道具 举报

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
0
寄托币
420
注册时间
2006-7-29
精华
0
帖子
2
发表于 2006-8-13 22:57:35 |显示全部楼层
真是找死,中国人这么多,你以为就你一个人聪明会用这段话啊???

以后2-3分可别到GTER上来哭,又说什么要重判什么的?

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
0
寄托币
243
注册时间
2006-8-2
精华
0
帖子
0
发表于 2006-8-13 22:57:57 |显示全部楼层
原帖由 yingyio 于 2006-8-13 22:42 发表
顺便再说一下,别人的东西就不用拿到这边来给我们改了,本来想看看的,现在觉得浪费我的时间

你要是觉得浪费时间,你不改好了,没人强迫你。
你不改,并不代表别人不改啊!

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
0
寄托币
243
注册时间
2006-8-2
精华
0
帖子
0
发表于 2006-8-13 23:00:50 |显示全部楼层
原帖由 pipixiong 于 2006-8-13 22:57 发表
真是找死,中国人这么多,你以为就你一个人聪明会用这段话啊???

以后2-3分可别到GTER上来哭,又说什么要重判什么的?


照你这种说法,那好我明天干脆就可以去找车撞死算了。
你以为我这么笨吗,有你这种中国人,我真感到羞耻。

[ 本帖最后由 netmaster 于 2006-8-13 23:02 编辑 ]

使用道具 举报

Rank: 5Rank: 5

声望
0
寄托币
1707
注册时间
2006-1-21
精华
0
帖子
7
发表于 2006-8-13 23:04:05 |显示全部楼层
拜托,你这要叫做“巧妙地灵活利用”的话,ETS都不要改卷子了

我刚开始看以为一句一样是巧妙地灵活利用,怎么第二句还是巧妙地灵活利用,接下来的一整段都是。。。你为什么要把贴上去的改了,心虚啦。。。

不说你,浪费口水

原帖由 netmaster 于 2006-8-13 22:55 发表

谢谢你的提醒,但是我可以郑重地告诉你我没有cheating, 虽然里面地有些句子可能是和新东方的有一定的相似,但是我并不是照搬照抄,只是加以巧妙地灵活利用罢了,还有我写的每篇文章都是我模拟现场考试地环境写的 ...
飘过~~飘过~~


招财猫,招offer喽!

使用道具 举报

Rank: 5Rank: 5

声望
0
寄托币
1707
注册时间
2006-1-21
精华
0
帖子
7
发表于 2006-8-13 23:05:23 |显示全部楼层
打住,算我多管闲事啦!!!不好意思哦,聪明蛋`~~
飘过~~飘过~~


招财猫,招offer喽!

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
0
寄托币
243
注册时间
2006-8-2
精华
0
帖子
0
发表于 2006-8-13 23:09:27 |显示全部楼层
原帖由 yingyio 于 2006-8-13 23:05 发表
打住,算我多管闲事啦!!!不好意思哦,聪明蛋`~~


有你这种说话的吗?有一粒芝麻,你都可以说着西瓜了。
有错改之,无则加勉。这是我的原则。

[ 本帖最后由 netmaster 于 2006-8-13 23:12 编辑 ]

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
0
寄托币
125
注册时间
2006-2-15
精华
0
帖子
0
发表于 2006-8-13 23:11:43 |显示全部楼层

我来改,我的等待回拍。

The 21st century has begun.[多余的话可以写,但是不要写在第一句。] In the past century, man has set a new mind-blowing rate for the change of the world. New concepts are being conceived every minute of everyday[every用得太密集了], all[all太过绝对,最好不要用] of which have impacted humans in some aspect. Then what changes will the new century bring to us[to us 去掉]? As far as I am concerned, I believe that the improvement of communication and environment will be the two main changes in the new century.

One of the primary changes that will take place in the new century is in communication[in去掉,communication 是名词,代替one of the changes,语法的问题]. With the advancement of new technologies such as computers and internet, more and more people can enjoy the happiness of communicating with others[with others 去掉]. For example, the internet will allow us to access any information our hearts desire[we want,heart在英语中主要指器官方面吧,个人小观点], bringing convenience and efficiency to thousands of average families as well as the work place. With the power of tomorrow’s computers and internet, one can receive information from any country in the world allowing individuals the ability to locate and acquire anything imaginable. Furthermore, instead of making long distance telephone calls, people with a computer and an internet connection will be able to chat for free with their friends and colleagues anytime and anywhere in the world.

On the other hand, the new century will change the very[用的有点别扭,去掉very] way the environment operates today. First of all, animals in the nature state are part of the wonder of creation and the beauty of the world. However, as a result of the steady growth of the world’s population, there is less and less room on our planet for wild animals, which is also a disaster for humans. Thus the most obvious development in environment will be that human will create more nature reserves for wild animals where they can wonder[wander] around, be fed and reproduce. Another change in environment will be that the air and water will be cleaner. Clean air and water is not only[important,缺成分] for human life, but also for all life on the planet. Nevertheless, the air is being polluted by modern[去掉] transportation, notably gas-powered automobiles and electrical generators which burn fossil fuel and pour polluting chemical waster into the air. Thus, if we humans do not change[污染不能改变] the air and water pollution in the new century, air and water on the earth will be much less healthy to breathe and drink.

In a word, humans will continue their advancement in the new century. This will not only bring convenience to man’s communication but also makes the environment more comfortable and favorable to humans.[感觉题目的重点在the new century will bring xxx, 不是human will achieve xxx,所以最好主语是the new century.]

总体,不错;个别地方有待提高,我都改在文中了。
我的在:https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1
欢迎回拍。

[ 本帖最后由 natalie_puppy 于 2006-8-13 23:13 编辑 ]

topic 178.doc

29 KB, 下载次数: 3

你文章的修改稿,黄色部分标出改的地方

god bless me!

使用道具 举报

RE: 8T同主题写作第5期--topic: 178 (netmaster) [修改]

问答
Offer
投票
面经
最新
精华
转发
转发该帖子
8T同主题写作第5期--topic: 178 (netmaster)
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-513370-1-1.html
复制链接
发送
回顶部