Issue10 第二篇,第一篇没人拍我,希望这次能有人拍我,越大力越好

jason0926UID: 200697

Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive, because it is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated."

1)许多城市的文化不需要政府出钱支持,例如许多当地民歌戏剧之类,基本上没有政府资助,但是许多安好者自己出资赞助,所以这些文化照样发展地顺利.
2)政府应该更加关心一个城市的经济建设,人们的生活质量以及健康,社会的安定等这些问题,不应该把重点放在对文化的资助上
3)不可否认,一些对于城市文化程度比较高的国家,比如,巴黎,伦敦,罗马等,人们从这些城市的文化就可以看出整个国家的特色,对这些文化,政府应该大力支持和保护.


The author claims that governments should offer financial suopport to major cities in order to develop because of a nation's cultural traditions are preserverd and generated in these cities.at the first glance,this opinion seems to be somewhat convincing,but further reflection tells me that i cannot agree with it for the following reasons.

In the first place,many cities need not government financial support for their cultural development,for example,in China,many local culture such as ballads,dramas are loved by native,some of which would like to enlist them and the more the developments of arts are sweeping,the more the pleasure they can get,furrthermore,they may make more friends who have the same loves as they are.Native love the local culture and some outlander even overseas persons also love it.Because of love,some devote all on it to support.So,the local culture cannot die away instead of develop stably without government efforts.

In the second place, government should be more concerned about the advance of city economy,the quality of people's life,and the stability of conmunity while not take the point on development of culture.how to estimate whether a city is good or bad is not only depending on its cultural development,but also reling on economy,stabilization and so on.for instance,in 2004,the economicai development rate of Ningbo is higher than any of cities in China,as far as we konw,Nibo doesnot have famous local culture,but more and more people go to Nibo to achieve their dream because they can earn more money in there rather than local culture.Shanghai,likes Ningbo,becomes to be a famous international city which also develop its economy chiefly.All of these indicate that cultural development is no better important than other aspects which can represent the civilization of cities.

admittedly,many city,such as London,Paris,Roma,are famous by their traditional culture,we can konw the charateristics of the nations from these cities'culture.Government should support them and keep them away from destroy in that these traditional culture is so important to us that if we donot protect it or even demolish it,we cannot see any more in other places in the world.For example,what a pity that we can not see again the civilization of Babylon it is.Whatever we imagin,the genuine conditions are far from our imaginations.Protecting culture is necessory

In sum,from what has been discussed above, we may finally draw the conclusion that government should not only provide finance for cities' development,but also imburse other aspects' development of cities.So long as the condition of people's life is improved,the culture blossom certainly.[/color]

jason0926UID: 200697

又花了好长时间,唉,自己后悔以前怎么不重视作文基础,中文作文不好,英文更不好,没的混了,睡觉,明早起来继续努力,祝大家晚安

jason0926UID: 200697

又没人拍啊,郁闷

jason0926UID: 200697

自己顶,决不让帖子沉底

abigredUID: 154473

先占座，明天找时间拍你，今天碰上郁闷的事～～～

jason0926UID: 200697

开心点,睡一觉就烟消云散了

jason0926UID: 200697

又一晚过去,已经好久没做梦的我又开始做梦了,梦见自己正在美国校园里那,shit
继续努力,唉!!

AlexandraUID: 185174

明天我来拍 我现在要下了

abigredUID: 154473

The author claims that governments should offer financial suopport to major cities in order to develop （是不是差了有个宾语？） because of a nation's cultural traditions are preserverd and generated in these cities.at the first glance,this opinion seems to be somewhat convincing,but further reflection tells me that i cannot agree with it for the following reasons. （这写点像argument，注意）

In the first place,many cities need not （no）government financial support for their cultural development,for example,in China,many local culture such as ballads,dramas are loved by native,some of which would like to enlist them and the more the developments of arts are sweeping,the more the pleasure they can get,furrthermore,they may make more friends who have the same loves as they are.Native love the local culture and some outlander even overseas persons also love it.Because of love,some devote all on it to support.So,（为什么要加逗号）the local culture cannot die away instead of develop stably without government efforts. (注意单句拼起来要连词，语法错误不少，赶时间吧？而且这段几乎都是单句，似乎有点单调 )

In the second place, government should be more concerned about the advance （development）of city economy,the quality of people's life,and the stability of conmunity while not take the point on development of culture?.how to estimate whether a city is good or bad is not only depending on its cultural development,but also reling on economy,stabilization and so on.for instance,in 2004,the economicai development rate of Ningbo is higher than any of cities in China,as far as we konw,Nibo doesnot have famous local culture,but more and more people go to Nibo to achieve their dream because they can earn more money in there rather than local culture.Shanghai,likes Ningbo,becomes to be a famous international city which also develop its economy chiefly.All of these indicate that cultural development is no better important than other aspects which can represent the civilization of cities. (恐怕外国人看这个例子的时候，不知道宁波，例子还是外国的比较好)

admittedly,many city,such as London,Paris,Roma,are famous by their traditional culture,we can konw the charateristics of the nations from these cities'culture.Government should support them and keep them away from destroy in that these traditional culture is so important to us that if we donot protect it or even demolish it,we cannot see any more in other places in the world.For example,what a pity that we can not see again the civilization of Babylon it is.Whatever we imagin,the genuine conditions are far from our imaginations.Protecting culture is necessory

In sum,from what has been discussed above, we may finally draw the conclusion that government should not only provide finance for cities' development,but also imburse other aspects' development of cities.So long as the condition of people's life is improved,the culture blossom certainly.（certainly过于绝对了）

我觉得可以调一下论述的顺序：
第一点： 保护文化是necessary，就是倒数第二段的内容
第二点：保护文化不需要政府的资助，就是第二段的内容（不必要）
第三点：为什么政府不应该去资助呢？因为有其他更重要的任务（不应该）
个人意见，呵呵

jason0926UID: 200697

谢谢,我会记下的,恩,没能深刻理解题目的意思

ardorousUID: 2115432

jason0926UID: 200697

谢谢各位,现在对写作文已经不那么恐怖了,大家如果有空,看看我的第四篇,我现在一天一篇,但不限时,没办法,一限时更写不出来了
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1