Issue136 第一篇限时作……

蝴蝶结UID: 195566

Issue136:  520words  45 minutes
The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare.

It is not the real circumstance of no choice but the human’s psychological effect. Accordingly, I have the same opinion to the assertion that the situation of the absence of choice is extremely uncommon. Meanwhile, however, regulations established to avoid benefit conflict by arbitrarily choosing are quite significant to control people’s behavior.

While a person says that he/she is in the absence of choice, actually, he/she has already put himself/herself in a particular range of material or spirit psychologically. However, in fact, choice is ample in the world. An apt illustration is the unemployed people. Most people who complain about their unemployment are due to their opinions of inward-looking that traps themselves in a temporary circle of peacockery. Once a white collar is jobless, being the former position-the Middle or Upper class-is still deeply in his mind, which makes him unwilling to be a blue collar that receives lower pay, which would diminish himself. Therefore, if the unemployed overcome this mental force, it would not tend a large amount of people jobless and numerous available works needy at the same time. Things are essentially similar to the suicide ones, most of whom think there is only way leads to their goals regardless other solutions. Once fail, no expectation exist in their hearts more than end up their lives. Anyway, they are too short foci to open the mind. If they consider retrospectively to locate where the sticking point was, and exploit another approach, there would be less tragedies surrounding. Thus, any excuse could not explain the true reason of no choice but the psychological impedance in material or spiritual.  

On the other hand, even if choice is not an illusion at all, it does not imply that we can choose randomly. Not live separately but with our families, communities, the society and the whole world, human beings should bear responsibilities for their own choices. Since the benefits between individuals and between individuals and groups often conflict with each other, sweeping and serious considerations have to be made before choosing. With the need of a limitation that can guarantee the benefits of all respects, then it comes to the constraint for people-the law and moral. Through the law, one ought not to do drugging and contraband in that they lead to indirect murder and unfair income, and even make the turbulence of the society. Moreover, a company should not deceive its customers by fake product or industry should not use any pollutant that damages the environment for the sake of profits. Simply put, any decision aimed at satisfying one's interest must be based on taking into account other factors and all interests of other aspects in order not to be harmful.

In the final analysis, the statement that the absence of choice is a circumstance that is very rare is reasonable for it is the people who place a material or spiritual range on themselves that make them have no choice sometimes. However, in terms of the correlation the whole world share, people's choice should be responsible for all the substances around that at present is restricted by law and moral.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-7-20 at 00:29 ]

Lyon_TonyUID: 178961

Issue136:  520words  45 minutes
The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare.

这个这个高频……

It is not the real circumstance of no choice but the human’s psychological effect. Accordingly, I have the same opinion to the assertion that the situation of the absence of choice is extremely uncommon. Meanwhile, 去掉把however, regulations established to avoid benefit conflict by arbitrarily choosing are quite significant to control people’s behavior. ？？？？看不懂

While a person says that he/she is in the absence of choice, actually, he/she has already put himself/herself in a particular range of material or spirit psychologicallypsychology. However, in fact, choice is ample in the world. An apt illustration is the unemployed people. Most people who complain about their unemployment are due to their opinions of inward-looking that traps themselves in a temporary circle of peacockery汗~~~. Once a white collar is jobless, being the former position-the Middle or Upper class-is still deeply in his mind, which makes him unwilling to be a blue collar that receives lower pay, which would diminish himself变小？. Therefore, if the unemployed overcome this mental force, it would not tend a large amount of people jobless and numerous available works needy at the same time. Things are essentially similar to the suicide ones, most of whom think there is only way leads to their goals regardless other solutions. Once fail, no expectation exist in their hearts more than end up their lives. Anyway, they are too short foci to open the mind. If they consider retrospectively to locate where the sticking point was, and exploit another approach, there would be less tragedies surrounding. Thus, any excuse could not explain the true reason of no choice but the psychological impedance in material or spiritual.  全是事例，缺少论证

On the other hand, even if choice is not an illusion at all, it does not imply that we can choose randomly. Not live separately but with our families, communities, the society and the whole world, human beings should bear responsibilities for their own choices. Since the benefits between individuals and between individuals and groups often conflict with each other, sweeping and serious considerations have to be made before choosing. With the need of a limitation that can guarantee the benefits of all respects, then it comes to the constraint for people-the law and moral. Through the law, one ought not to do drugging and contraband in that they lead to indirect murder and unfair income, and even make the turbulence of the society. Moreover, a company should not deceive its customers by fake product or industry should not use any pollutant that damages the environment for the sake of profits. Simply put, any decision aimed at satisfying one's interest must be based on taking into account other factors and all interests of other aspects in order not to be harmful.

In the final analysis, the statement that the absence of choice is a circumstance that is very rare is reasonable for it is the people who place a material or spiritual range on themselves that make them have no choice sometimes. However, in terms of the correlation the whole world share, people's choice should be responsible for all the substances around that at present is restricted by law and moral.

文章两部分很清晰，一：不是没有选择
                           二应该慎重选择
可是我怎么觉得第二部分和题目没有没有关系呢？

是不是应该写When a society can give enough respect to everyone’s reasonable choices, the society is truly democratic这类的呢？

个人意见供参考

Lyon_TonyUID: 178961

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D5

seraph_hydeUID: 184809

It is not the real circumstance of no choice but the human’s psychological effect.（这句话总感觉缺点什么，it是形式主语？指代not the real circumstance of no choice but the human’s psychological effect？那宾语呢？） Accordingly, I have the same opinion to the assertion that the situation of the absence of choice is extremely uncommon. Meanwhile, however, regulations established to avoid benefit conflict by arbitrarily choosing are quite significant to control people’s behavior.

While a person says that he/she is in the absence of choice, actually, he/she has already put himself/herself in a particular range of material or spirit psychologically. However, in fact, choice is ample in the world. An apt illustration is the unemployed people. Most people who complain about their unemployment are due to their opinions of inward-looking that traps themselves in a temporary circle of peacockery. Once a white collar is jobless, being the former position-the Middle or Upper class-is still deeply in his mind, which makes him unwilling to be a blue collar that receives lower pay, which would diminish himself. Therefore, if the unemployed overcome this mental force, it would not tend a large amount of people jobless and numerous available works needy at the same time. Things are essentially similar to the suicide ones, most of whom think there is only way leads to their goals regardless other solutions. Once fail, no expectation exist in their hearts more than end up their lives. Anyway, they are too short foci to open the mind. If they consider retrospectively to locate where the sticking point was, and exploit another approach, there would be less tragedies surrounding. Thus, any excuse could not explain the true reason of no choice but the psychological impedance in material or spiritual. （例子很贴切，但就是把例子融入论证的分析性语言少了点）
On the other hand, even if choice is not an illusion at all, it does not imply that we can choose randomly. Not live separately but with our families, communities, the society and the whole world, human beings should bear responsibilities for their own choices. Since the benefits between individuals and between individuals and groups often conflict with each other, sweeping and serious considerations have to be made before choosing. With the need of a limitation that can guarantee the benefits of all respects, then it comes to the constraint for people-the law and moral. Through the law, one ought not to do drugging and contraband in that they lead to indirect murder and unfair income, and even make the turbulence of the society. Moreover, a company should not deceive its customers by fake product or industry should not use any pollutant that damages the environment for the sake of profits. Simply put, any decision aimed at satisfying one's interest must be based on taking into account other factors and all interests of other aspects in order not to be harmful.（这段是想说明什么问题呢？好像和论点完全没有关系，论点是没有选择的情况很少见，但这段缺在说不能随意选择，在没有证明有选择的情况下就拿来做前提，有点begging the question）
In the final analysis, the statement that the absence of choice is a circumstance that is very rare is reasonable for it is the people who place a material or spiritual range on themselves that make them have no choice sometimes. However, in terms of the correlation the whole world share, people's choice should be responsible for all the substances around that at present is restricted by law and moral.（这段其实就是结尾段啊，只是前两段的复述总结，不能叫final analysis吧？）

语言很好，第二段在稍改一下论点和例子的叙述方式就好了，语言句式的运用实在是好啊.....～～～

蝴蝶结UID: 195566

谢谢楼上的，还是要向你学习呢！

硬柿子UID: 204138

It is not the real circumstance of no choice but the human’s psychological effect. Accordingly, I have the same opinion to the assertion that the situation of the absence of choice is extremely uncommon. Meanwhile, however, regulations established to avoid benefit conflict by arbitrarily choosing are quite significant to control people’s behavior.

While a person says that he/she is in the absence of choice, actually, he/she has already put himself/herself in a particular range of material or spirit psychologically. However, in fact, choice is ample in the world. An apt illustration is the unemployed people. Most people who complain about their unemployment are due to their opinions of inward-looking that traps themselves in a temporary circle of peacockery. Once a white collar is jobless, being the former position-the Middle or Upper class-is still deeply in his mind, which makes him unwilling to be a blue collar that receives lower pay, which would diminish himself. Therefore, if the unemployed overcome this mental force, it would not tend a large amount of people jobless and numerous available works needy at the same time. Things are essentially similar to the suicide ones, most of whom think there is only way leads to their goals regardless other solutions. Once fail, no expectation exist in their hearts more than end up their lives. Anyway, they are too short foci to open the mind. If they consider retrospectively to locate where the sticking point was, and exploit another approach, there would be less tragedies surrounding. Thus, any excuse could not explain the true reason of no choice but the psychological impedance in material or spiritual.  

没有选择是因为不愿意做

On the other hand, even if choice is not an illusion at all, it does not imply that we can choose randomly. Not live separately but with our families, communities, the society and the whole world, human beings should bear responsibilities for their own choices. Since the benefits between individuals and between individuals and groups often conflict with each other, sweeping and serious considerations have to be made before choosing. With the need of a limitation that can guarantee the benefits of all respects, then it comes to the constraint for people-the law and moral. Through the law, one ought not to do drugging and contraband in that they lead to indirect murder and unfair income, and even make the turbulence of the society. Moreover, a company should not deceive its customers by fake product or industry should not use any pollutant that damages the environment for the sake of profits. Simply put, any decision aimed at satisfying one's interest must be based on taking into account other factors and all interests of other aspects in order not to be harmful.

没有选择是因为受到道德、法律和责任等诸多因素的约束

In the final analysis, the statement that the absence of choice is a circumstance that is very rare is reasonable for it is the people who place a material or spiritual range on themselves that make them have no choice sometimes. However, in terms of the correlation the whole world share, people's choice should be responsible for all the substances around that at present is restricted by law and moral.

结尾可以加入自己的总结，换个角度，选择就有了

蝴蝶结UID: 195566

谢谢柿子，经你提醒修改一下就不会跑题了：）

硬柿子UID: 204138

蝴蝶结
你快考了吧，我是8月22日 的作文，还一个多月
打算把这个月贡献给GTER了
这阵子 就看看你的作文吧 ~~~加油~~~

蝴蝶结UID: 195566

太感谢了！
一定努力:victory::victory::victory:

songwei1765UID: 202658

蝴蝶，偶可能没时间给你改了，上午有事，下午还有事。
再说给你改的人已经很多了，偶就不凑热闹了~~