issue150 科技类高频 V6 8.14

11yvetteUID: 2102418

------题目------
Because of television and worldwide computer connections, people can now become familiar with a great many places that they have never visited. As a result, tourism will soon become obsolete.
------正文------
Television and worldwide computer connections provide dozens of information to the masses in all aspects including the travel information which makes people know some places of interest. However, I can not agree the statement about the obsolete of tourism any more. In my point of view, the information provided from television and internet would not impede tourism, moreover, they would stimulate tourism instead.

To begin with, the information brought by television and internet gives the masses a first look at some places they have never been to. Beautiful images, unique civilization and mysterious landscape are all the merits given by the tools to people who want to know much about the world. We all enjoy that kind of introduction of the places as we have had less free time to go to beach in summer or go to ski in winter for the busy job. And the olds are entertained by the information as they are not so convenient to travel as they used to do. The merits from the television and worldwide computer connections always share this happy time with the masses.

However, television and internet would not substitute the status of tourism. Though they are offering the useful sense, the impediment of tourism would not happen. The reasons would be explained as below. Firstly, though we watch television and check on the internet for much information, these are all others' travelogue which can not represent our feelings. Only when we travel ourselves, the spectacular scene would shock us, all around are green and natural: grass, trees and fresh air, but not the concrete buildings, glass walls or even the advanced tools. In the surroundings, stress is gone and troublesome relationship disappears. Secondly, the great images we watch in television or internet are based on others' footprints. We are passive receivers but not active explorers. Yet, lots of people do not be such passive ones, and they would like to explore the great scene. In addition, people who have habit of travel would not tolerate sitting on sofa, facing to the television or the computer and watching what others have jaunted. Their favorite hobby would not be changed by these tools. In short, it is useless for television and internet to determine people's behaviors of travel.

Moreover, the television and internet are enhancing the tourism in fact. For people are willing to travel after knowing the information from television and internet, that is to say, television and computer connections are as impetus of the tourism. And more and more places of interest are making advertisement on television and internet as well as travel agency. The advertisement would attract more people to travel, and more choices are coming. People who decide to travel are more likely to collect information through the television especially the internet, an easily seek for the relative information about tourism such as the hotel information, the warning on the travel and so forth are all conveniently got. So the television and internet are really helping people travel.

In final analysis, information provided by television and computer connection aid people who are not easily go out with enjoy the significant scene of nature and  civilization which are not so familiar with the people. And it also blossoms tourism as it stimulate the interests of people to travel rather than block the development of tourism.

mkb57288UID: 2105771

晚上来

mkb57288UID: 2105771

不好意思来晚了，成了早上来了，呵呵，还是主要改一下思路，见谅

mkb57288UID: 2105771

个人认为开头很不错，丰满而不累赘--赞一下
呵呵，都是让步也是各有千秋，今天看了zehua的写得也很棒，你得也很好，学习ing
不过the olds。。前面可以用moreover，additionally或者是别的连接词引一下，然阅卷人更容易找到你的新观点，也在erator打分的时候沾点儿光
看了两行觉得B2也很清爽，赞
继续往下看。。B2的结构上没有问题了，剩下的就是语言--不过这个对于AWT好像也不是很决定性的
B3依然没有问题--其实是再看你得开头的时候就已经这么认为的了，只不过是确定一下

整个结构没有任何的问题，语言也还不错，只是个别的词用得不是很准确，比如说开头的dozens of+cn  B3 TS  enhance之类的其余的记不大住了
但也有很多词用得很好  impede   impetus   travelogue  进步很大---赞！！
个人打分 5

11yvetteUID: 2102418

谢谢mkb的鼓励啊~~~
每次你都帮我改,真的很感动的说
这篇是写得比较顺的一篇了
我会斗志满满地去迎接考试的~~~