ISSUE172 ARGUMENT188 帮忙改改

maylUID: 2162549

TOPIC：ISSUE 172 - "Important truths begin as outrageous, or at least uncomfortable, attacks upon the accepted wisdom of the time."
WORDS：503          TIME：0:40:46          DATE：2005-12-7

The speaker claims that important truths begin as outrageous, for they attack on the accepted idea of the time. In my view, however, although sometimes, especially in ancient, the truths bring some panic to people, now, people are hungry for truth, which can bring development to the society and also benefit to the public.

Admittedly, before the Renaissance, people were all likely to believe that the whole world was the creation of the God and human were the center of the world. For the power of the religious believing and the nature of human beings that they incline to protect the concepts that they already accept, people would not like to accept new idea like the heliocentricism. So, even Galileo found the biased nature of the geocentricism, he still could not change the idea of people in that time. And what's more, the unfortunate Bruno was burned in square. Also, even in modern time, when Einstein published his theories of relativity, some one claimed that the gloriousness of the laws of Newton disappeared. After all, people in that time do not rely on the truth and technology to live better, so they would like to believe that things were the same as they thought and rejected to the truths.

However, now the truths are desirable for they can explain the unknown and draw away people's panic. So the public would not be afraid of the unknown power any more and could live a comfortable life. For example, when Franklin found that the light was only the electric of the cloud, people no longer feel afraid of the light and the thunder in the rainy day, for they know that is not the angry of the God, but a phenomenon of the nature. So people are hungry for the truths that can explain the unknown things to make them live without worry.

Also, truths can bring and spur the development of the science. Because only the truth is the goal of the science and can brings benefits to people. Although Copernicus could not persuaded his peers that the sun was the center of the universe and did not published his idea until the last months of his life, the great observation brought the start of the modern astronomy. And upon the support of the laws of the gravity, people now can set out satellites and can draw the picture of the earth from the out space to find natural resources. Similarly, although Einstein broke Newton's concept of linear time and space, the theories of relativity greatly motivated the research in the universe. So, people who live in today are more likely to find and accept the truth in order to know more about the world around us.
In sum, although people sometimes would be hurt psychologically by the truths for they break people's ideologies, especially in ancient time, people today who are much enlightened are more likely to find the truths for they can both eliminate unreasoned worries and bring interests to the whole society.


TOPIC：ARGUMENT 188 - A new report suggests that men and women experience pain very differently from one another, and that doctors should consider these differences when prescribing pain medications. When researchers administered the same dosage of kappa opioids-a painkiller-to 28 men and 20 women who were having their wisdom teeth extracted, the women reported feeling much less pain than the men, and the easing of pain lasted considerably longer in women. This research suggests that kappa opioids should be prescribed for women whenever pain medication is required, whereas men should be given other kinds of pain medication. In addition, researchers should reevaluate the effects of all medications on men versus women.
WORDS：418          TIME：0:30:00          DATE：2005-12-7

In the argument, the arguer claims that men and women experience pain very differently from one another and researchers should reevaluate the effects of all medications on men versus women. To justify the conclusion, the arguer points out the same dosage of kappa's effects on men and women are different greatly. So men should be given other kinds of pain medication. But a careful scrutiny would reveal how groundless this analysis is.
First of all, without the percentage of the men and women with different reaction to the pain killer who take the kappa opioids, the arguer can not prove the kappa opioids are more effective for women. It is very possible that most women and men have the same reaction to the medicine and only one women reported feeling much less pain than the men. Then the eminent effectiveness of the medicine on women is open to doubt.
secondly, as a research, the number of the men and women is not enough. 28 men and 20 women is not enough to prove that the kappa opioids have better effect on women. It is possible that the 20 women are all those who are easily affected psychologically. So, after taking the medicine they would more easily feel better psychologically but actually be the same to the men group. Then the research can not prove the conclusion.
There is another flaw with this analysis, even if the medicine is more effective on women, which is still unwarranted, the research is focused on the effectiveness of the medicine on the wisdom teeth extracted so it can not point out kappa opioids are more effective to women on every part of the body. It is possible that as to the panic on the feet, the medicine is more effective for men. Then the arguer should not suggest that kappa opioids would be prescribed for women all time and men should be given other kinds of pain medication.
Last, even the effectiveness of the kappa opioids is different for women and men, there is no necessary that researchers should reevaluate the effects of all medication on men versus women for the way of the taking effect of different medicine
In sum, the arguer does not lend a strong support to the conclusion. To strengthen the argument, the arguer should rule out the psychological factors in the research. To better evaluate the conclusion, the arguer should also point out that kappa opioids is more effective on majority of women on every part of body and all pain killer medicine all effect like kappa opioids.

48778UID: 209221

TOPIC：ISSUE 172 - "Important truths begin as outrageous, or at least uncomfortable, attacks upon the accepted wisdom of the time."
WORDS：503          TIME：0:40:46          DATE：2005-12-7

The speaker claims that important truths begin as outrageous, for they attack on the accepted idea of the time. In my view, however, although sometimes, especially in ancient, the truths bring some panic to people, 转折放这比较好now, people are hungry for truth(s), which can bring development to the society and also benefit to the public.第一段有些太模板了,可以改一下,不然太简单

Admittedly, before the Renaissance, people were all likely to believe that the whole world was the creation of the God and human were the center of the world. For the power of the religious believing and the nature of human beings that去掉that they incline to protect the concepts that they already accept. people would not like to accept new idea like the heliocentricism. So, even Galileo found the biased nature of the geocentricism, he still could not change the idea of people in that time. And what's more, the unfortunate Bruno was burned in square. Also, 换成similarly会好一些even in modern time, when Einstein published his theories of relativity, some one claimed that the gloriousness of the laws of Newton disappeared. After all, people in that time do not rely on the truth and technology to live better, so they would like to believe that things were the same as they thought and rejected to the truths.
我感觉每段开始前有一句主题句会更好,这样阅卷老师会一幕了然However, now the truths are desirable for they can explain the unknown and draw away people's panic. So the public would not be afraid of the unknown power any more and could live a comfortable life. For example, when Franklin found that the light was only the electric of the cloud, people no longer feel afraid of the light and the thunder in the rainy day, for they know that is not the angry of the God, but a phenomenon of the nature. So people are hungry for the truths that can explain the unknown things to make them live without worry.

Also, truths can bring and spur the development of the science. Because only the truth is the goal of the science and can brings去掉sbenefits to people. Although Copernicus could not persuaded his peers that the sun was the center of the universe and did not published去掉ed his idea until the last months of his life, the great observation brought the start of the modern astronomy. And upon the support of the laws of the gravity, people now can set out satellites and can draw the picture of the earth from the out space(是不是outer-space) to find natural resources. Similarly, although Einstein broke Newton's concept of linear time and space, the theories of relativity greatly motivated the research in the universe. So, people who live in today are more likely to find and accept the truth in order to know more about the world around us.
In sum, although people sometimes would be hurt psychologically by the truths for they break people's ideologies, especially in ancient time, people today who are much enlightened are more likely to find the truths for they can both eliminate (unreasonable)worries and bring interests to the whole society.


TOPIC：ARGUMENT 188 - A new report suggests that men and women experience pain very differently from one another, and that doctors should consider these differences when prescribing pain medications. When researchers administered the same dosage of kappa opioids-a painkiller-to 28 men and 20 women who were having their wisdom teeth extracted, the women reported feeling much less pain than the men, and the easing of pain lasted considerably longer in women. This research suggests that kappa opioids should be prescribed for women whenever pain medication is required, whereas men should be given other kinds of pain medication. In addition, researchers should reevaluate the effects of all medications on men versus women.
WORDS：418          TIME：0:30:00          DATE：2005-12-7

In the argument, the arguer claims that men and women experience pain very differently from one another and researchers should reevaluate the effects of all medications on men versus women. To justify the conclusion, the arguer points out the same dosage of kappa's effects on men and women are different greatly. So men should be given other kinds of pain medication. But a careful scrutiny would reveal how groundless this analysis is.
First of all, without the percentage of the men and women with different reaction to the pain killer who take the kappa opioids, the arguer can not prove the kappa opioids are more effective for women. It is very possible that most women and men have the same reaction to the medicine and only one women reported feeling much less pain than the men. Then the eminent effectiveness of the medicine on women is open to doubt.
secondly, as a research(during this research会好一些, the number of the men and women(换成sample) is not enough. 28 men and 20 women is not enough to prove that the kappa opioids have better effect on women. It is possible that the 20 women are all those who are easily affected psychologically. So, after taking the medicine they would more easily feel better psychologically but actually be the same to the men group. Then the research can not prove the conclusion.
There is another flaw with this analysis, even if the medicine is more effective on women, which is still unwarranted, the research is focused(我感觉用ing好 on the effectiveness of the medicine on the wisdom teeth extracted so it can not point out kappa opioids are more effective to women on every part of the body. 此句觉的结构混乱,调整一下,你这样写的话感觉少个that,但加上去又不好看,还是调整一下把)It is possible that as to the panic on the feet, the medicine is more effective for men. Then the arguer should not suggest that kappa opioids would be prescribed for women all time and men should be given other kinds of pain medication.
Last, even the effectiveness of the kappa opioids is different for women and men, there is no necessary that researchers should reevaluate the effects of all medication on men versus women for the way of the taking effect of different medicine 进一步阐述一下,使文章内容饱满,不要只看到干巴巴的一些理由In sum, the arguer does not lend a strong support to the conclusion. To strengthen the argument, the arguer should rule out the psychological factors in the research. To better evaluate the conclusion, the arguer should also point out that kappa opioids is more effective on majority of women on every part of body and all pain killer medicine all effect like kappa opioids
第一点和第二点可以用一个段落说,都是关于试验的我爱寄托


总之这次写的好多了,比我的要好,我这次写的太恶心了,字数严重不足,而且issue感觉跑题了,argument也分析的不好,希望你好好批.你的这次字数不错,但内容的阐述上还是比较乱,一句和另一句有时跑的很远.努力把,挺不错的,现在要从自己的弱点上下功夫了,例如我感觉我就是语法点老错.还有模板没成型,你呢?总结一下.哈哈.

[ Last edited by 48778 on 2005-12-8 at 16:45 ]