argument147 (458) 谢谢大家! 作业完成!花了2个多小时:(

lenaUID: 2156561

Argument147
The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."

Abstract:

1.such games require the most advanced computers.
2.lacking evidence that links the extensive advertising campaign and sales increase
3.A survey of common plays are little useful to draw a conclusion about the plays at the 10 to 25 years old.
4.liking playing games is not equal to buying them

458
The argument conclusion is the sales of whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months because a recent survey demonstrates that several Whirlwind video games with an extensive advertising campaign meet the video-game players' favorites. It seems reasonable, but deeper thinking educes that some evidence cannot responsible for the increase of the sales and the sales trend needs more evidence to be anticipated.

First, the editorial mentions that lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers, is the most important in a video game for video-game players asked in survey. Although Whirlwind has just introduced such games with advertising campaign, but such games require the most advanced computers. Without hardware video-game players can not use there games. As a result, they are likely to choose another kind of video-game. It is a primary problem. Generally, most up-to-date computers are not common pattern in market and their using are limited at very beginning. Relied on there kinds of computer these video games can not meet the common players' need. Clearly, whether the sales of Whirlwind video games increase or not is really hard to say.

Regardless of the limit of the hardware, there are lacking evidence that links the extensive advertising campaign and sales increase. Commonly, players prefer introduction of peers to advertiser. According to practice by themselves the peers can describe the game vividly and their companies are likely to accept. Besides, the competition in advertice with other companies can not be ignored. If the advertising campaign holds in the same time with adversary, the result of competition will have something with the sale.

In addition, the extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. The editorial not mentions that the age of the video-game players in the survey. Different players with different age maybe have different opinions in games. A survey of common plays are little useful to draw a conclusion about the plays at the 10 to 25 years old. Overall, the extensive advertising campaign is not enough to lead sales increase.

The players at the 10 to 25 years old are most likely to play video games indeed, but they are mostly students and may be can not afford high-price games. Ever if they are passionate about Whirlwind video games, they maybe do not have adequate money to purchase them. As a matter of fact, liking playing games is not equal to buying them.

In a word, there are more than three reasons why the editorial are not strong minded above, not mentioned others. The evidence mentioned in the editorial can not be responsible for the increase of the sales. The tread of the increase sales needs more survey and observation.

calsunnyUID: 2163431

Argument147
The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."

Abstract:

1.such games require the most advanced computers.
2.lacking evidence that links the extensive advertising campaign and sales increase
3.A survey of common plays are little useful to draw a conclusion about the plays at the 10 to 25 years old.
4.liking playing games is not equal to buying(buy) them

458
The argument conclusion is the sales of whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months because a recent survey demonstrates that several Whirlwind video games with an extensive advertising campaign meet the video-game players' favorites. It seems reasonable, but deeper thinking educes that some evidence cannot(be) responsible for the increase of the sales and the sales trend needs more evidence to be anticipated.

First, the editorial mentions that lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers, is ( 数上应该一致)the most important in a video game for video-game players asked in survey. Although Whirlwind has just introduced such games with advertising campaign, but such games require the most advanced computers. Without hardware video-game players can not use there(their) games. As a result, they are likely to choose another kind of video-game(s). It is a primary problem. Generally, most up-to-date computers are not common pattern in market and their using are(is) limited at very beginning.(好像原因没有解释清楚还是我的理解有问题？) Relied on there(their?) kinds of computer these video games can not meet the common players' need. Clearly, whether the sales of Whirlwind video games increase or not is really hard to say.(是否可以因为人们不一定会因为一个游戏而买一台最先进的电脑或者硬件着手写呢？)

Regardless of the limit of the hardware, there are lacking evidence that links the extensive advertising campaign and sales increase. Commonly, players prefer introduction of peers(还真不知道peers指的是什么？) to advertiser. According to practice by themselves the peers can describe the game vividly and their companies are likely to accept. Besides, the competition in advertice(advertise) with other companies can not be ignored. If the advertising campaign holds in the same time with adversary, the result of competition will have something with the sale(这一点写得挺好的！).

In addition, the extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. The editorial not mentions that the age of the video-game players in the survey. Different players with different age maybe have different opinions in games. A survey of common plays are little useful to draw a conclusion about the plays at the 10 to 25 years old. Overall, the extensive advertising campaign is not enough to lead sales increase.

The players at the 10 to 25 years old are most likely to play video games indeed, but they are mostly students and may be can not afford high-price games. Ever if they are passionate about Whirlwind video games, they maybe do not have adequate money to purchase them. As a matter of fact, liking playing games is not equal to buying them.(可以和上一段合在一起写的，还有关于调查的样本问题，调查的科学性问题即调查的信度和效度问题都可以写)

In a word, there are more than three reasons why the editorial are not strong minded above, not mentioned others. The evidence mentioned in the editorial can not be responsible for the increase of the sales. The tread of the increase sales needs more survey and observation.


还是感觉挺好的，只是部分有些不太理解。希望楼主越写越好，大家一起加油！

lenaUID: 2156561

辛苦了!谢谢:cool:

lenaUID: 2156561

修改后:

Argument147
The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."

Abstract:

1.such games require the most advanced computers.
2.lacking evidence that links the extensive advertising campaign and sales increase
3.A survey of common plays are little useful to draw a conclusion about the plays at the 10 to 25 years old.
4.liking playing games is not equal to buying them

458
The conclusion of the argument is the sales of whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months because a recent survey demonstrates that several Whirlwind video games with an extensive advertising campaign meet the video-game players' favor. It seems reasonable, but deeper thinking educes that some evidence cannot be responsible for the increase of the sales and the sales trend needs more evidence to be anticipated.

First, the editorial mentions that lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers, are most important in a video game for video-game players asked in survey. Although Whirlwind has just introduced such games with advertising campaign, but such games require the most advanced computers. Without hardware video-game players can not use these games. As a result, they are likely to choose another kind of video-games. It is a primary problem. Generally, most up-to-date computers are not common pattern in market and their using is limited at the very beginning. Relied on these kinds of computer these video games can not meet common players' need. Clearly, whether the sales of Whirlwind video games increase or not is really hard to say.

Regardless of the limit of the hardware, there are lacking evidence that links the extensive advertising campaign and sales increase. Commonly, players prefer introduction of peers to advertiser. According to practice by themselves the peers can describe the game vividly and their companies are likely to accept. Besides, the competition in advertising with other companies can not be ignored. If the advertising campaign holds in the same time with adversary, the result of competition will have something with the sale.

In addition, the extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. But the editorial author did not mention the age of the video-game players in the survey. Different players with different ages maybe have different opinions in games. A survey of common plays are little useful to draw a conclusion about the plays at the 10 to 25 years old. Overall, the extensive advertising campaign is not enough to lead to sales increase.

The players at 10 to 25 years old are most likely to play video games indeed, but most of them are students and maybe can not afford high-price games. Ever if they are passionate about Whirlwind video games, they maybe do not have enough money to purchase them. As a matter of fact, liking playing games is not equal to buying them.

In a word, there are more than three reasons why the editorial are not strong minded above, not mentioned others. The evidence mentioned in the editorial can not be responsible for the increase of the sales. The tread of the increase sales needs more survey and observation.

有关于be equal to 好像后面就是跟名词的.不知道我看到的对不对?

[ Last edited by lena on 2005-12-15 at 16:51 ]