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题目:The study of a academic discipline alters the way we perceive the world. After studying the discipline, we see the same world as before, but with different eyes.
提纲:同意。1 学习了专业学科以后,我们可以运用学科知识来看问题。(例子,clone 从心理学角度还有其他角度谈对它的看法。)
2 而且在学习的过程中我们学到了critical thinking,而不只是完全相信书本,而是有自己看问题的方法。
I strongly agree with the author that through the study of any academic discipline we could alter our way of perceiving the world. On the one hand, after studying some disciplines we could apply academic knowledge to perceive some problems. apply..to这里的to是介词,注意了,后面不能跟动词的On the other hand, in the procedure of studying academic disciplines we could learn cultivate our own way of critical thinking not only by following authorities. In sum, we can gain the capability ability,capability of doing sth, ability to do sth.这是比较地道的用法,当然,你的说法在语法上是没有错误的.to perceive a broader spectrum of opinion and perspective and get这种口语化的词尽量少用。 a way of thinking after studying the discipline.
内容上这个首段很不错,几乎概括了后面的全部内容,但觉得有点象ARGUMENT的开头,可以改变下形式.
In the first place, through the study of any academic discipline, we tend to interpret problems deeply and in a broader spectrum. Before mastering some disciplines, we usually perceive a problem superficially. Yet after obtaining some academic knowledge, we see the world in different eyes. Take a heated issue, clone, for example. Without obtaining any academic disciplines, we only know that clone is a fact that scientists can create a new individual genetically identical to an existing person or a previous existing extant person. 这句和上句联系不太紧密.As a matter of fact there is no compelling evidence to guarantee the safety of attempting to use this technique in human being in physical harm respect. In addition to physical harm, from psychological respect, it is highly这个词不太好,换个吧 possible to lose a sense of uniqueness. Moreover from social aspect there may be potential harms to social values. Through education, we could interpret clone problem from different aspects. Also we no longer tend to polarize好词!! clone issue as either right or wrong. In fact in most circumstances we can hardly divide issues into only two aspects. In this sense 加个这个短语加强句子之间的流畅性Academic disciplines study provides us with a more objective way to interpret the world.
句试比较单一,可以常识多变,例子很有新异,不错。
In the second place, another benefit of education is to obtain a way of critical thinking during this procedure. As we know, critical thinking means correct objective好点吧thinking in a pursuit of relevant and reliable knowledge about the world. Moreover critical thinking is an active process instead of a passive way of getting knowledge. In this thinking process people must use analysis, synthesis and reflection. In our study of academic disciplines process, we must use critical thinking to obtain knowledge. In some situations we need to investigate problems, ask questions and find new information which challenges the status quo and even question authorities and accepted traditions in order to master the truth of academic disciplines. For instance, critical thinking does not acquire people to know to stop for red light. What critical thinking requires is to analyze such as an analysis of the effect of global warming. As a matter of fact, only 太绝对了through critical thinking, we can get and master knowledge. So study of academic disciplines provides us critical thinking. Moreover the essence of critical thinking is to perceive the world in different eyes.
觉得有点空,可以给点例子分析.
To sum up, through the study of academic disciplines we tend are more likelyto interpret the world in a wider range and deeply. We no longer tend to divide issues into only two aspects as either right or wrong, or as good or bad. What is more, the way of critical thinking also makes people see the world in different respectives.
智恩的思考着眼点很好,句子可以更精练,可以试试复杂的句子结构,因为短句过多会让人觉得缺乏流畅感(当然,长句太多又让人读得喘不过气,)把握好一个度
总的来说不错,智恩继续加油~~~ |
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