issue48 jingjing作业（kito）

jingjingtousUID：2164820

TOPIC：ISSUE 48 - "The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."
disagree
Outline:
1 the unknown people have contributions which we cannot neglect. (Edison’s invention are relevant to many people such as the manufacturers, the workers, the patent protectors, the salesmen and even the consumers.
2 however, the great individuals are the main power or impetus of the famous historical incidence( for example, Nelson Mandela is the key person for the racial equality campaign of South Africa and therefore change people’s attitudes toward current political mechanism and racial coexistence.
3 the celebrities in history play a more essential role in history. For example, the great works of famous artists inspire common persons to struggle for their dreams and meanwhile, the cultural tendency have significantly changed according to the ideas and spirits which were reflected from their works. e.g. the greatest artist-Dar Vinci sponsored the Renaissance in Italy.

When we take a look at the history retrospect, we will be surprised to find that there are many incidences that have been caused by some groups of people whose names are unknown. However, if we look further into the evolution of our society, we can ascertain that the contributions of some great individuals are the essential and indispensable impetus of the process of human civilization. Thus, in my point of view, when it comes to the historical trend or the development of the society, certain great individuals' inventions or ideas have significantly changed our lives and minds, they play a more vital role in the development of human beings in our history.

Admittedly, in the long river of human history, there are numerous events and trends happened from which we can study our civilization and learn the great ideas. In the current world, when history became an important role in understanding the evolution of humans, we could argue without hesitation that all the people who have participated in the memorial historical incidence have certain contributions to the process of that issue. For example, Edison-one of the greatest inventors in the twentieth century, have innumerable innovations which benefited our society and significantly improve the living conditions of our human beings. His greatest accomplishment-the bulb which lumined every corner throughout the world, however, cannot bring such a great impact without other noteless persons. Without the manufacturers who provide him the raw materials such as the glass, the extremely thin wire of tungsten, the foundation of his experiments would not exists. Also without the workers, the patent protectors, the salesmen, and the consumers, his invention cannot be applied into practicality, produced by large quantities and availing to every family from different countries. Therefore, we should not neglect the contributions of the nameless people who have ever took part in the important historical events, nevertheless, the study of their detailed dedications or services which have stimulated the process of the incidence is subsidiary to that of the necessary and crucial conduction to the event made by the key individuals.

Frankly speaking, the key individuals are the spark and impetus of the famous historical events. On the one hand, the spirits and ideals of some great leaders always encourage us to struggle for our items, insist our believes and achieve our promises. When we look into history, many instance of this point will come into our mind. Consider the famous and preeminent polician-Nelson Mandela-the first president with black skin in South Africa, for accomplish his ideal-the equlity between black people and white people, he had never stopped striving with the enforced government. After his imprisonment life for 27 years, his dream became true. His great ideas to a huge extent changed people's attitudes and values toward the political mechanism and racial equality, without his leadership, we cannot prospect such a democracy and equal society in South Africa. Anyway, the great person is the main power for the changing and evolution of the society and also the key for historians to study the trend in history.

On the other hand, there are so many tendencies toward the culture in our society sponsored by certain great artists. I am hard-pressed to imagine that without the accomplishment of Dar Vinci, the Renaissance in Italy could generate and thrive and finally change the dominant previous culture to the one which centralize with the humanity and desire for human beauty. It is indisputable to say that we can hardly enjoy the benefits which the innovating culture brought to us without some great and talent artists. In addition, many epochal events or trends such as the Renaissance would not happen without the key individuals in the history. Some of their works have so significant influence that thoroughly altered the views and values of common people. When it comes to history study, we primarily focus on the celebrities and their great ideas, works, or spirits. That is the very reason why autobiographies about great individual can inspire us and give us a deep impression.

To sum up, the history is comprised of a succession of important events or trends. We cannot overlook the contributions of the common persons, nonetheless, when we look further into historical incidence which sometimes became the millstone of human history, we would perceive the great spirist and ideas of the critical individuals who impelled the progress of human civilization and change people's minds toward our current mechanism and culture.

dganggangUID：2125101

我来看看了
Outline:
1 the unknown people have contributions which we cannot neglect. (Edison’s invention are relevant to many people such as the manufacturers, the workers, the patent protectors, the salesmen and even the consumers. unknow?wellknown?
2 however, the great individuals are the main power or impetus of the famous historical incidence( for example, Nelson Mandela is the key person for the racial equality campaign of South Africa and therefore change people’s attitudes toward current political mechanism and racial coexistence.
3 the celebrities in history play a more essential role in history. For example, the great works of famous artists inspire common persons to struggle for their dreams and meanwhile, the cultural tendency have significantly changed according to the ideas and spirits which were reflected from their works. e.g. the greatest artist-Dar Vinci sponsored the Renaissance in Italy.且看正文

When we take a look at the history retrospect, we will be surprised to find that there are many incidences that have been caused by some groups of people whose names are unknown. However, if we look further into the evolution of our society, we can ascertain that the contributions of some great individuals are the essential and indispensable impetus of the process of human civilization. Thus, in my point of view, when it comes to the historical trend or the development of the society, certain great individuals' inventions or ideas have significantly changed our lives and minds, they play a more vital role in the development of human beings in our history. 没什么错误 但我个人感觉是不是太长 有些话似乎放在论证里更恰当

Admittedly, in the long river of human history, there are numerous events and trends happened严重语法错误 from which we can study our civilization and learn the great ideas. In the current world, when history became an important role in understanding the evolution of humans, we could argue without hesitation that all the people who have participated in the memorial historical incidence have certain contributions to the process of that issue. For example, Edison-one of the greatest inventors in the twentieth century, have innumerable innovations which benefited our society and significantly improve the living conditions of our human beings. His greatest accomplishment-the bulb（发明电灯还是灯泡啊？我都忘了 呵呵） which lumined every corner throughout the world, however, 主语 cannot bring such a great impact without other noteless persons（看不懂了有点）. Without the manufacturers who provide him the raw materials such as the glass, the extremely thin wire of tungsten, the foundation of his experiments would not exists. Also without the workers, the patent protectors, the salesmen, and the consumers, his invention cannot be applied into practicality, produced by large quantities and availing to every family from different countries. Therefore, we should not neglect the contributions of the nameless people who have ever took part in the important historical events, nevertheless, the study of their detailed dedications or services which have stimulated the process of the incidence（这个事情用incidence不恰当） is subsidiary不对 看清题目 to that of the necessary and crucial conduction to the event made by the key individuals.  整个例子不太好 Edison还是主要力量 其他人显然被你一说就成了subsidiary 不说明问题

Frankly speaking, the key individuals are the spark and impetus of the famous historical events. On the one hand, the spirits and ideals of some great leaders always encourage us to struggle for our items, insist on our believes and achieve our promises. When we look into history, many instances of this point will come into our mind. Considering the famous and preeminent polician(这个词往往贬义 而且还拼错）-Nelson Mandela-the first president with black skin（Chinglish) in South Africa, for (to)  accomplish his ideal-the equlity between black people and white people, he had never stopped striving with the enforced government. After his imprisonment life for 27 years, his dream became true. His great ideas to a huge extent changed people's attitudes and values toward the political mechanism and racial equality, without his leadership, we cannot prospect such a democracy and equal society in South Africa. Anyway(haha), the great person is the main power for the changing and evolution of the society and also the key for historians to study the trend in history. 不错

On the other hand, there are so many tendencies toward the culture in our society sponsored by certain great artists. I am hard-pressed to imagine that without the accomplishment of Dar Vinci, the Renaissance in Italy could generate and thrive and finally change the dominant previous culture to the one which centralize with the humanity and desire for human beauty. It is indisputable to say that we can hardly enjoy the benefits which the innovating culture brought to us without some great and talented artists. In addition, many epochal events or trends such as the Renaissance would not happen without the key individuals in the history. Some of their works have so significant influence that thoroughly altered the views and values of common people. When it comes to history study, we primarily focus on the celebrities and their great ideas, works, or spirits. That is the very reason why autobiographies about great individuals can inspire us and give us a deep impression. 写得很好 但意思上似乎是在为为上面一段举的第二个例子 但写的不错 老外不会有意见

To sum up, the history is comprised of a succession of important events or trends. We cannot overlook the contributions of the common persons（其实不局限于common people 只是forgotten), nonetheless, when we look further into historical incidence which sometimes became the millstones of human history, we would perceive the great spirist and ideas of the critical individuals who impelled the progress of human civilization and change people's minds toward our current mechanism and culture.  

写得挺好的 发挥顺畅