argument216 【kito】

kito9695UID：209685

====================Argument===================
【题目】
Argument216（2005年2-9月总频21次）
The following appeared in a magazine article about planning for retirement.

"Because of its spectacular natural beauty and consistent climate, Clearview should be a top choice for anyone seeking a place to retire. As a bonus, housing costs in Clearview have fallen significantly during the past year, and real estate taxes remain lower than those in neighboring towns. Nevertheless, Clearview's mayor promises many new programs to improve schools, streets, and public services. Retirees in Clearview can also expect excellent health care as they grow older, since the number of physicians in the area is far greater than the national average."

【翻译】
由于Clearview的天然景色和温和气候，它应该成为那些为退休后寻找生活地的人的首选。其中一项好处是，Clearview的房价在去年显著下降，房地产税一直比邻近城市低。而且，Clearview的市长承诺了很多新方案来改善学校、街道和公共服务。Clearview的退休人员也可以在老年时享受到出色的医疗服务，因为该地区的医生数量高于全国平均水平。

【提纲】
1、天然景色和温和气候未必是退休者考虑的首要因素，可能是由其他因素，如空气污染情况啊，交通，物价水平，治安状况啊等等
2、房价大幅下调并不等于房价就很低，可能以前很高，下调之后还属于高房价，房产税比临近城市低，不代表没有实际水平的低，而且忽略了以后会上涨的可能性
3、市长承诺改善学校、街道和公共服务与适宜退休居住没有直接关系，而且承诺也未必得以实现
4、医生数量高于平均水平不代表医疗服务水平高或者医生的技术好，也需平均人口多更多呢，人均医生数量反而少了呢

【正文】（574words）
In the magazine, the arguer claims that Clearview proves to be the perfect choice for retirees’ living because of its beautiful scene and mild climate as well as other conditions such as housing conditions and health care and so on. However, a carefull scrutiny reveals that the argument is not so cogent as it stands, which I will expain from several aspects below.

First and foremost, the major problem of this argument is the arguer asserts in haste that natural scene and climate is the part and parcel due to retiring ones’ consideration. It is maybe that they are two facets worthy of thing, however they may not be the top two. Perhaps, when chosing a place to live, retirees are most likely to concern about the air condition, traffic situation, price or the safty in the city. If they cncern them more than the scene and climate, the arguer could not affirm Clearview should be a top choice for retiree. Besides, different retiring people have different consideration, which thus should not be regard total same. Therefore, even if Clearview is quite suitable for someone enjoying spectacular natural beauty and consistent climate in it, it may not be preferred by others.

Secondly, the arguer commits a fallacy that he unfairly equals a sharp decline in housing costs with low housing costs in Clearview. Though it has fallen significantly during the past year, however, it is still possible that the housing costs are stay in a high level which appears to be difficult for retiring people to afford. It is the same as the real estate taxes. The real estate taxes in Clearview remain lower than those in neighboring towns does not indicate that they are low enough for the retiree to pay for. Perhaps the real estate taxes are still higher than the national average and not payable for retiring people who are mostly with a little money. Except those possibilities talked above, the evidence lso fails to consider the possiblity that the housing cost and real estate taxes may increase later, and thus lends little support to the argument.

In additon, the arguer fails to establish an relative relationship between the consideration of retiring places and the major’s promise for improving schools, streets, and public services. As a matter of fact, they are not the main factors taken into accout for retiree’s living. Moreover, given that they are what retiree concerns, we could not claims that Clearview is good at these aspects until the programmes become true, in that the final result may turn to be less effective than expected.

Last but not least, the evidence that retirees in Clearview can also expect excellent health care is also open to doubt, since the numerous number of physicians in the area than the national average indicates nothing about high quality health care. The basic population may be so large that the number of  physicians per person in Clearview turns out to be less than the average. Further more, without advanced medical equipment and good skill, even if there are more physicians, it would not make good medical condition.


To sum up, the argument is well presented but not logically accepted. To make it more reasonable, the arguer should do more and further investigations to the retiree about the most concerned factors when seeking a place to retire. And besides, make clear to the real situations of housing costs, real estate taxes and health care.

谢谢拍~~:handshake

@amy@UID：209096

嘿嘿，小别你这篇没有word拼写检查哦，我正在改ing~~~

kito9695UID：209685

原帖由 @amy@ 于 2006-1-25 22:42 发表
嘿嘿，小别你这篇没有word拼写检查哦，我正在改ing~~~

汗...amy，辛苦你了又！我偷懒用家里的电脑word不能拼写检查英文~~下次用本本了~~

@amy@UID：209096

In the magazine, the arguer claims that Clearview proves to be the perfect choice [题目说是top choice，你说perfect choice，嗯… 合不合适呢？貌似问题也不大] for retirees’ [word说这里有标点符号错误，可我没看出来啊] living because of its beautiful scene and mild climate as well as other conditions such as housing conditions and health care and so on. However, a carefull [careful] scrutiny reveals that the argument is not so cogent as it stands, which I will expain [explain] from several aspects below.

First and foremost, the major problem of this argument is the arguer asserts in haste that natural scene and climate is the part and parcel due to retiring ones’ consideration. It is maybe that they are two facets worthy of thing [think about], however they may not be the top [tops] two. Perhaps, when chosing [choosing] a place to live, retirees are most likely to concern about the air condition, traffic situation, price or the safty [safety] in the city. If they cncern [concern] them [those facets好一点，要不然them和前面的主语they一起看上去有点混乱] more than the scene and climate, the arguer could not affirm Clearview should be a top choice for retiree. Besides, different retiring people have different consideration, which thus should not be regard [regarded] total [totally] same. Therefore, even if Clearview is quite suitable for someone enjoying spectacular natural beauty and consistent climate in it[这个in it有点别扭], it may not be preferred by others.

Secondly, the arguer commits a fallacy that he unfairly equals a sharp decline in housing costs with low housing costs in Clearview. Though it has fallen significantly during the past year, however, it is still possible that the housing costs are stay [still?] in a high level which appears to be difficult for retiring people to afford. It is the same as the real estate taxes. [这里加个中转词比较好]The real estate taxes in Clearview remain lower than those in neighboring towns does not indicate that they are low enough for the retiree to pay for. Perhaps the real estate taxes are still higher than the national average and not payable for retiring people who are mostly with a little money. Except those possibilities talked [是不是discussed或者referred比较好一点] above, the evidence lso[also] fails to consider the possiblity [possibility] that the housing cost and real estate taxes may increase later, and thus lends little support to the argument.

In additon [addition], the arguer fails to establish an [a] relative[这个relative是不是多余呢？] relationship between the consideration of retiring places and the major’s promise for improving schools, streets, and public services. As a matter of fact, they are not the main factors taken into accout [account] for retiree’s living. Moreover, given that [有given that这个说法吗？汗，我不记得了，我只记得even if和granted that，你确认一下告诉我哈，嘿嘿] they are what retiree concerns, we could not claims that Clearview is good at these aspects until the programmes [programs] become true, in that the final result may turn [out] to be less effective than expected.

Last but not least, the evidence that retirees in Clearview can also expect excellent health care is also open to doubt, since the numerous number of physicians in the area than the national average indicates nothing about high quality health care. The basic population may be so large that the number of physicians per person in Clearview turns out to be less than the average. Further more, without advanced medical equipment and good skill, even if there are [were] more physicians, it would not make good medical condition.


To sum up, the argument is well presented but not logically accepted. To make it more reasonable, the arguer should do more and further investigations to the retiree about the most concerned factors when seeking a place to retire. And [and好像没必要] besides, make clear to the real situations of housing costs, real estate taxes and health care.

嘿嘿，拍的狠了点，小别还伤心哈，继续加油~~:hug: