issue185 V－March站队作业贴，欢迎大家赐教！

爱格UID: 2103778

TOPIC：ISSUE 185 - "Scandals-whether in politics, academia, or other areas-can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could."
WORDS：580          TIME：1:32:36          DATE：2006-2-11

The speaker alleges that scandals are so useful on drawing people's attention on issues that eclipse the function of reformers or speakers. I find this allegation to be specious. On some degree, scandals expose the dark side of the society which sparks people to take action to make our community better. On the other hand, too much contention on the booming scandals does distract our attention from the more important problems in our surroundings.

To begin with, I tend to agree with the author that scandals open our ken on those critical things or persons. In the area of politics, a great deal of scandals will serve as an apt illustration. The U.S military's abusing prisoners in Iraq arouses the worldwide attention even fury. If those tortures of Iraqi prisoners’ pictures were not exposed, most of the international people would still treat the U.S military as God down to the earth saving the former autarchic country. Without the prosecutors’ effort, people have reason to believe that more prisoners will be mistreated and the lie of human right and democracy claiming by Bush administration blatantly all the time will never be debunked.

When it comes to the academia fields, the scandals function seems even more important, since the outcomes of science are closely related with human future and any fake in science cannot be tolerant. Hwang Woo Suk, the Korean stem cell scientist's cheating deed in his research has erased his glorious reputation away thoroughly. Hwang claimed his research group had extracted stem cells from cloned human embryos, a technology that with held out hope for millions of patients worldwide with currently incurable diseases. Nevertheless, he was found making fake data in his two papers published on Science. Thanks to the scandals that no one else will continue to use Hwang's data to do stem cell research and the atmosphere of science regains its freshness. Hwang's case also alarms all the researchers and scientists to be honest on their work and we see a soaring scrutiny of science papers are proceeding around the world.

Even though scandals play important roles in politics and academia or other areas which I does not give examples above but exist, over stating the critical function of scandals is to be disproved. As scandals are inclined to call people’s too much attention on a single famous figure or one unusual but not important thing, while leave the real critic ones be over shadowed. For example, when the Clinton sex scandal came out, all the A-list newspapers put Clintons and Lewinsky's personal lives on the headlines, and people are happily reading those stories with litter consideration of the more important things left on the second or the third page news such as the federal finance, health, education, relationship with other countries and so forth. Nowadays, more and more sport stars or movie stars’s scandals are reported, some of which related to policy. But in fact, even after these bad news are exposed, we seldom see any governmental reform takes place, or the number of the same kind of scandals is reduced. In such cases, scandals do not give any help to improve our society but distract our attention from the really important issues.

To sum up, I agree with the arguer in some degree that scandals have their priority than speakers or reformers to call people's attention on the problems which affect the society seriously, but in other small cases, too much attention on the scandals will be detriment to coping with social basic matters.

爱格UID: 2103778

怎么没人改啦·····自己顶········

jackloveUID: 183611

The speaker alleges that scandals are so useful on drawing people's attention on issues that eclipse the function of reformers or speakers你是说scandal有用而使得reformer显得作用不大，所以这个定语从句有问题。用非限定的. I find this allegation to be specious. On some degree, scandals expose the dark side of the society which sparks people to take action to make our community better. 丑闻曝露社会能激发人们行动使社会更好吗？这个似乎逻辑上不对，暴露黑暗面，可以暴露社会中存在的这些问题，从而有效控制它，这样使得社会趋于良性发展On the other hand, too much contention on the booming scandals does distract our attention from the more important problems in our surroundings.
观点表达明确！

To begin with, I tend to agree with the author that scandals open our ken on those critical things or persons. In the area of politics, a great deal of scandals will serve as an apt illustration. The U.S military's abusing prisoners in Iraq arouses the worldwide attention even fury. If those tortures of Iraqi prisoners’ pictures were not exposed, most of the international people would still treat the U.S military as God down to the earth saving the former autarchic country. Without the prosecutors’ effort, people have reason to believe that more prisoners will be mistreated and the lie of human right and democracy claiming by Bush administration blatantly all the time will never be debunked.
have reason to有理由去...，不得不
没有prosecutor的努力，人们有理由相信更多的prisoner被虐待？
例子分析的很好，但是不是政治指向太狠了点/
我感觉不要政治观点太鲜明了，特别是对于现在的政策和政府。

When it comes to the academia fields, the scandals function seems even more important, since the outcomes of science are closely related with human future and any fake in science cannot be tolerant. Hwang Woo Suk, the Korean stem cell scientist's cheating deed in his research has erased his glorious reputation away thoroughly. Hwang claimed his research group had extracted stem cells from cloned human embryos, a technology that with held out hope for millions of patients worldwide with currently incurable diseases. Nevertheless, he was found making fake data in his two papers published on Science. Thanks to the scandals that no one else will continue to use Hwang's data to do stem cell research and the atmosphere of science regains its freshness. Hwang's case also alarms all the researchers and scientists to be honest on their work and we see a soaring scrutiny of science papers are proceeding around the world.
好！

Even though scandals play important roles in politics and academia or other areas which I does not give examples above but exist, over stating the critical function of scandals is to be disproved. As scandals are inclined to call people’s too much attention on a single famous figure or one unusual but not important thing, while leave the real critic ones be over shadowed. For example, when the Clinton sex scandal came out, all the A-list newspapers put Clintons and Lewinsky's personal lives on the headlines, and people are happily reading those stories with litter consideration of the more important things left on the second or the third page news such as the federal finance, health, education, relationship with other countries and so forth. Nowadays, more and more sport stars or movie stars’s scandals are reported, some of which related to policy涉及到政策？什么意思. But in fact, even after these bad news are exposed, we seldom see any governmental reform takes place, or the number of the same kind of scandals is reduced. In such cases, scandals do not give any help to improve our society but distract our attention from the really important issues.
这段挺好的
三个body都分析的还不错，存在一个很大的问题就是：
例子结束后，应该给出一个简单的结论。

To sum up, I agree with the arguer in some degree that scandals have their priority than speakers or reformers to call people's attention on the problems which affect the society seriously, but in other small cases, too much attention on the scandals will be detriment to coping with social basic matters.结尾可以

[ 本帖最后由 jacklove 于 2006-2-13 10:05 编辑 ]

爱格UID: 2103778

多谢组长刚开工就来给我帮助:lol！
我第一句话用so that从句为什么错了呢？还是不明白希望再指教

还有“which sparks people to take action to make our community better. 丑闻曝露社会能激发人们行动使社会更好吗？这个似乎逻辑上不对，暴露黑暗面，可以暴露社会中存在的这些问题，从而有效控制它，这样使得社会趋于良性发展”这个地方你改完了我还是没看懂，我就是要说这个意思啊，那不这么说怎么说好呢？
“没有prosecutor的努力，人们有理由相信更多的prisoner被虐待？”我觉得如果没人举报，那这样的事情就很可能继续下去，就像贪污受贿一样。
嘻嘻，总觉得你给我改作文像在写argument~~~~~~~

[ 本帖最后由 爱格 于 2006-2-12 21:29 编辑 ]

chongchong05UID: 2144321

The speaker alleges that scandals are so useful on drawing people's attention on issues that eclipse the function of reformers or speakers. I find this allegation to be specious. On[改为‘To’] some degree, scandals expose the dark side of the society which sparks people to take action[加‘s’] to make our community better. On the other hand, too much contention on the booming scandals does distract our attention from the more important problems in our surroundings.

To begin with, I tend to agree with the author that scandals open our ken on those critical things or persons. In the area of politics, a great deal of scandals will serve as an apt illustration. The U.S military's abusing prisoners in Iraq arouses the worldwide attention even fury. If those tortures of Iraqi prisoners’ pictures were not exposed, most of the international people would still treat the U.S military as God down to the earth saving the former autarchic country. Without the prosecutors’ effort, people have reason[加‘s’] to believe that more prisoners will be mistreated and the lie of human right and democracy claiming[改为‘claimed’] by Bush administration blatantly all the time will never be debunked.

When it comes to the academia fields, the scandals function seems even more important, since the outcomes of science are closely related with human future and any fake in science cannot be tolerant [改为’tolerated’]. Hwang Woo Suk, the Korean stem cell scientist's cheating deed in his research has erased his glorious reputation away thoroughly. Hwang claimed his research group had extracted stem cells from cloned human embryos, a technology that with held out hope for millions of patients worldwide with currently incurable diseases. Nevertheless, he was found making fake data in his two papers published on Science. Thanks to the scandals that no one else will continue to use Hwang's data to do stem cell research and the atmosphere of science regains its freshness. Hwang's case also alarms all the researchers and scientists to be honest on their work and we see a soaring scrutiny of science papers are proceeding around the world [这句话结构不清楚].

Even though scandals play important roles in politics and academia or other areas which I does[去掉‘es’] not give examples above but exist, over stating the critical function of scandals is to be disproved. As scandals are inclined to call people’s too much attention on a single famous figure or one unusual but not important thing, while leave [改为’leaving’]the real critic ones be over shadowed. For example, when the Clinton sex scandal came out, all the A-list newspapers put Clintons and Lewinsky's personal lives on the headlines, and people are happily reading those stories with litter consideration of the more important things left on the second or the third page news such as the federal finance, health, education, relationship with other countries and so forth. Nowadays, more and more sport stars or movie stars’s[应改为stars’] scandals are reported, some of which related to policy. But in fact, even after these[改为‘the’,因为news为不可数] bad news are [改为’is’]exposed, we seldom see any governmental reform takes place, or the number of the same kind of scandals is reduced. In such cases, scandals do not give any help to improve our society but distract our attention from the really important issues.

To sum up, I agree with the arguer in[改为‘to’] some degree that scandals have their priority than speakers or reformers to call people's attention on the problems which affect the society seriously, but in other small cases, too much attention on the scandals will be detriment to coping with social basic matters.

个人认为文章写得不错，论据对论点的说明很贴切，很羡慕LZ的文笔. 有点小建议,首先建议多用简单句以防出现语法错误,其次建议多用常用的单词和短语.

jackloveUID: 183611

so that哦，那可以，不好意思!

至于第二处我感觉暴露黑暗面与促使人们行动这之间没事么联系。

嘿嘿，我改作文基本看你的思路的，衔接，所以改起来像是在看ARG一样了~~~~

爱格UID: 2103778

真是不好意思，刚刚才看到我这篇文章又有朋友帮我改啦！好高兴！
大家提出来的宝贵意见我以后会注意，我会和大家一起继续努力！
再次感谢！