issue196高频题，1月出现2次 大家拍拍啊！

ChunyanLi2005UID: 2124266

Issue196     487 words
------题目------
Technology creates more problems than it solves, and may threaten or damage the quality of life.
------------------
syllabus:
position: disagree
1. admittedly, technology has brought some problems to human being. especially these technology used in wars
A-tomb internet has brought bad effect to chirldren. poison gas. Games, warm discription
caused unemployment
2. convience cars, telephone, refrigerator other home appliances. machines used in industry.
3. happyness. intelnet. however, technology has also brought many benefits to people's daily life.
telephone
computer:email chatting online( we can chat with alient relations )
------正文------

As the speaker claimed that technology has brought up many problems and may affected the quality of life to some extent, in the mean while, technology also brought much benefits to us. We cannot live with it, but we cannot live without it.

First of all, we should admit that technology truly brings some disadvantages to us, especially ones used in a war. Technology often used in a surprising way not anticipated by the originators or developers. For example, Einstein has tried his best to create A-bomb. But it was finally turned to be the major killer of lives. After being released, then only in a short time, the bomb will explode widely. It generated a significant amount of radiation (Gamma ray and neutrons) that subsequently caused devastating human injuries. Besides A-bomb, weapons like, poison gas, etc, has also greatly threatened people. The enormous bad effect of these weapons has greatly damaged environment and threaten the health of people. In research, scientists find that victims in a war often have got many uncurable diseases. Additionally, machines used in industry or other field, which greatly enhanced the productivity and decreased need of human labor, has caused unemployment. Technology's disadvantages exist in every fields, which cannot ignore.

However, these disadvantages of technology cannot cover its numerous advantages, which contains convenience to  society and happiness to human being.

Aristotle rightly described man as an animal that lives by technology. We need technology, although it places new demands upon us. Refrigerator, phone, cars and other home appliances has brought much convenience to our daily life. We do not need to buy food every day, because there is refrigerator; we can travel to an allient place not for a long time, because there is a car; we can tell somebody some matters at home without visiting him or her, because there is a phone. Technology brought great convenience to our life. We cannot imagine if it disappeared, what our life will turn to be.

Also, technology has brought happiness to us, and enriched our daily life. The best use of Internet can best illustrate this. Nowadays Internet is very popular with people. People can see every humorous or strange fairs on the Internet. And people also can chat with others, like kins, strangers. That has promoted the relationship among kins and made strangers no longer strange, which greatly enhance the friendship among humans. Email, replacing the traditional tool for communication--letter, has greatly reduced the time for receiving a letter. Various games and application software not only attracted people's interests, but also enrich people's entertainment.

When having seen the bad effect of Technology, we also find that there are enormous benefits it has brought to the society. Whether technology brings more problems than its advantages, still need further consideration. To balance, at present, I believe we cannot live without technology, since it has already been an important part of our life.

[ 本帖最后由 ChunyanLi2005 于 2006-2-22 14:18 编辑 ]

cavanaUID: 2178782

As the speaker claimed that technology has brought up many problems and may affected the quality of life to some extent, in the mean while, technology also brought much benefits to us. We cannot live with it, but we cannot live without it.[这句话得琢磨一下啊]

First of all, we should admit that technology truly brings some disadvantages to us, especially ones used in a war. Technology often used in a surprising way not anticipated by the originators or developers. For example, Einstein has tried his best to create A-bomb. But it was finally turned to be the major killer of lives. After being released, then only in a short time, the bomb will explode widely[这句话有点别扭阿，前面的释放不是爆炸吗]. It generated a significant amount of radiation (Gamma ray and neutrons) that subsequently caused devastating human injuries. Besides A-bomb, weapons like, poison gas, etc, has also greatly threatened people. The enormous bad effect of these weapons has greatly damaged environment and threaten the health of people. In research, scientists find that victims in a war often have got many uncurable diseases. Additionally, machines used in industry or other field, which greatly enhanced the productivity and decreased need of human labor, has caused unemployment. Technology's disadvantages exist in every fields, which cannot ignore[这句似乎和中心句关系不大，另起一段比较好吧].

However, these disadvantages of technology cannot cover its numerous advantages, which contains convenience to  society and happiness to human being.

Aristotle rightly described man as an animal that lives by technology. We need technology, although it places new demands upon us. Refrigerator, phone, cars and other home appliances has brought much convenience to our daily life. We do not need to buy food every day[we can keep food fresh and delicious for longer time ], because there is refrigerator; we can travel to an allient place not for a long time, because there is a car; we can tell somebody some matters at home without visiting him or her, because there is a phone. Technology brought great convenience to our life. We cannot imagine if it disappeared, what our life will turn to be.

Also, technology has brought happiness to us, and riched our daily life. The best use of Internet can best illustrate this. Nowadays Internet is very popular with people. People can see every[very?] humorous or strange fairs on the Internet. And people also can chat with others, like[no matter kins or strangers] kins, strangers. That has promoted the relationship among kins and made strangers not strange, which greatly enhance the friendship among humans. Email, [almost 这种话还是不要说绝对的好]replacing the traditional tool for communication--letter, has greatly reduced the time for [waiting for a letter]receiving a letter.[觉得EMAIL 的例子似乎更适合上一段] Various games and application software not only attracted people's interests, but also rich people's entertainment.

When having seen the bad effect of Technology, we also find that there are enormous benefits it has brought to the society. Whether technology brings more problems than its advantages, still need further consideration. To balance, at present, I believe we cannot live without technology, since it has already been an important part of our life.

[几天没看你的作文，觉得长进不小呢，语句流畅了很多，思维也比以前清晰了。]

[ 本帖最后由 cavana 于 2006-2-14 11:08 编辑 ]

ChunyanLi2005UID: 2124266

真的吗？我这两天心情还挺不稳的，今天现在才有点想学，多谢你的批改，更谢谢你的话，给了我好大的安慰！
我去给你加分！

[ 本帖最后由 ChunyanLi2005 于 2006-2-14 16:51 编辑 ]

iven19821005UID: 2160156

Issue196     487 words
------题目------
Technology creates more problems than it solves, and may threaten or damage the quality of life.
------------------
syllabus:
position: disagree
1. admittedly, technology has brought some problems to human being. especially these technology used in wars
A-tomb internet has brought bad effect to chirldren. poison gas. Games, warm discription
caused unemployment
2. convience cars, telephone, refrigerator other home appliances. machines used in industry.
3. happyness. intelnet. however, technology has also brought many benefits to people's daily life.
telephone
computer:email chatting online( we can chat with alient relations )
------正文------

As the speaker claimed that technology has brought up many problems and may affected the quality of life to some extent, in the mean while, technology also brought much benefits to us. We cannot live with it, but we cannot live without it.
（开局流畅，提出了自己明确的观点，但是否可以利用自己已有的一些精彩结构，进行叙述，从而博得一定的赞扬呢？）
First of all, we should admit that technology truly brings some disadvantages to us, especially ones used in a war. Technology often used in a surprising way not anticipated by the originators or developers. For example, Einstein has tried his best to create A-bomb. But it was finally turned to be the major killer of lives. After being released, then only in a short time, the bomb will explode widely. It generated a significant amount of radiation (Gamma ray and neutrons) that subsequently caused devastating human injuries. Besides A-bomb, weapons like, poison gas, etc, has also greatly threatened people. The enormous bad effect of these weapons has greatly damaged environment and threaten the health of people. In research, scientists find that victims in a war often have got many uncurable diseases. （Additionally, machines used in industry or other field, which greatly enhanced the productivity and decreased need of human labor, has caused unemployment. （对于此例的理解是否，不恰当呢？）（Technology's disadvantages exist in every fields, which cannot ignore.引出下文，值得学习，但是否在ets的文章里值得尝试呢，应该研究一下）
（本段论证和语言，包括论据都体现了作者相当不错的作文能力。）

However, these disadvantages of technology cannot cover its numerous advantages, which contains convenience to  society and happiness to human being.

Aristotle rightly described man as an animal that lives by technology. We need technology, although it places new demands upon us. Refrigerator, phone, cars and other home appliances has brought much convenience to our daily life. We do not need to buy food every day, because there is refrigerator; we can travel to an allient place not for a long time, because there is a car; we can tell somebody some matters at home without visiting him or her, because there is a phone. Technology brought great convenience to our life. We cannot imagine if it disappeared, what our life will turn to be.
（本段，论点结合论据加以相当熟练，深刻的论证，值得我整段学习，特别你的论述相当不错。）
Also, technology has brought happiness to us, and （riched  应该enriched吧？）our daily life. The best use of Internet can best illustrate this. Nowadays Internet is very popular with people. People can see every humorous or strange fairs on the Internet. And people also can chat with others, like kins, strangers. That has promoted the relationship among kins and made strangers not strange, which greatly enhance the friendship among humans. Email, replacing the traditional tool for communication--letter, has greatly reduced the time for receiving a letter. Various games and application software not only attracted people's interests, but also rich people's entertainment.
（这段再家点社会调查，作为支持，或许可以使其更加丰满）
When having seen the bad effect of Technology, we also find that there are enormous benefits it has brought to the society. （Whether technology brings more problems than its advantages, still need further consideration. （好句）To balance, at present, I believe we cannot live without technology, since it has already been an important part of our life.

真是谢谢你啊,你的文章很好,我很想有机会和你多多交流
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... e%3D1#pid1768149579
这个空间我会贴出我写的习作的连接,希望你能多多给我提出意见,同时我也很想多读多地看到你的习作,让我们共同进步吧.

[ 本帖最后由 iven19821005 于 2006-2-20 21:44 编辑 ]

幽兮UID: 2119029

As the speaker claimed that technology has brought up many problems and may affected the quality of life to some extent, in the mean while, technology also brought much benefits to us. We cannot live with it, but we cannot live without it.

First of all, we should admit that technology truly brings some disadvantages to us, especially ones used in a war. Technology often used in a surprising way not anticipated by the originators or developers. For example, Einstein has tried his best to create A-bomb. But it was finally turned to be the major killer of lives. After being released, then only in a short time, the bomb will explode widely. It generated a significant amount of radiation (Gamma ray and neutrons) that subsequently caused devastating human injuries. Besides A-bomb, weapons like, poison gas, etc, has also greatly threatened people. The enormous bad effect of these weapons has greatly damaged environment and threaten the health of people. In research, scientists find that victims in a war often have got many uncurable diseases. Additionally, machines used in industry or other field, which greatly enhanced the productivity and decreased need of human labor, has caused unemployment. Technology's disadvantages exist in every fields, which cannot ignore.

However, these disadvantages of technology cannot cover its numerous advantages, which contains convenience to  society and happiness to human being.
(中式的写法，英文中没这么过渡段！！！）

Aristotle rightly described man as an animal that lives by technology. We need technology, although it places new demands upon us. Refrigerator, phone, cars and other home appliances has brought much convenience to our daily life. We do not need to buy food every day, because there is refrigerator; we can travel to an allient place not for a long time, because there is a car; we can tell somebody some matters at home without visiting him or her, because there is a phone. Technology brought great convenience to our life. We cannot imagine if it disappeared, what our life will turn to be.

Also, technology has brought happiness to us, and riched our daily life. The best use of Internet can best illustrate this. Nowadays Internet is very popular with people. People can see every humorous or strange fairs on the Internet. And people also can chat with others, like kins, strangers. That has promoted the relationship among kins and made strangers not strange, which greatly enhance the friendship among humans. Email, replacing the traditional tool for communication--letter, has greatly reduced the time for receiving a letter. Various games and application software not only attracted people's interests, but also rich people's entertainment.

When having seen the bad effect of Technology, we also find that there are enormous benefits it has brought to the society. Whether technology brings more problems than its advantages, still need further consideration. To balance, at present, I believe we cannot live without technology, since it has already been an important part of our life.

从你的口气中看，是支持科技的，让步了一下科技有害。。。第一段没有用来让步的好不好:L:L:L  一般是放在最后说的~~~ 很严重的问题！！！

快要考了吧，如果没时间练习，再仔细体会一下范文的结构吧~~ 呵呵，加油:handshake

ChunyanLi2005UID: 2124266

这两天光为眼镜闹心了，都好几天没再写了， 都快失去信心了！
但看到你们这么仔细的修改，我就觉得自己更应该努力！
你们不光修改了我的作文，更修改了我的心态！
多谢！！！