Argument145 第一篇写完整的

清荷才露UID: 2163929

我的提纲：
1、研究样本是否具有代表性；
2、是否sleep apnea一定导致白天的倦怠；
3、锻炼是否是充分必要条件。

因为是第一次写完整的argument，4.5就要考作文了，现在很慌，水平又很差，希望牛人们能给我指点。非常感谢

In this argument, the author recommends that anyone who snores should try to eat less than the average person and to exercise more. In support of his recommendation, the author cites the result of a new study that people who snore are more likely to gain weight than are people who do not snore. Moreover, the author provides the evidence that the waking caused by snoring can leave the person too tired during the day to exercise. At first glance, the argument appears to be somehow plausible, but further reflection reveals that it suffers from several logic fallacies.

First of all, the author unfairly assumes that the data collected in the study is representative of the information of all the people who snore. However, no evidence has been offered to support this assumption. It is entirely possible that the data in this study merely presents those who absorbs well albeit they do not eat much, thus this kind of people are more likely to gain weight. If so, then the author's recommendation might amount to poor advice.

Secondly, the fact that sleep apnea makes people stop breathing frequently during the night and then wakes the person is insufficient to indicate that it can leave the person too tired during the day to do exercise. While the interruption of sleep is an important contributing factor to tiredness of the second day, it is not the only such factor. Many other reasons-extended strains, less rest or much work- could just as likely account for tiredness of during the day. Lacking a detailed analysis of the reasons people too tired to do exercise, it is sheerly folly to attribute interruption of sleep to tiredness during the day..

Finally, even if the two the study is representative of all the people and sleep apnea attributes to tiredness during the day, the author's recommendation that anyone who snores should try to eat less than the average person and to exercise more rests on the assumption that no alternative means of preventing gaining weight and doing exercise are available. Yet, no evidence is offered to support this assumption. Many other means will achieve the desired result. For example, they can go to the doctors ask for advice, or they can take some sleeping pills so that they can sleep well and would not snore during the night. Without considering and ruling out these and other alternative means, the author cannot confidently conclude that anyone who snores should try to eat less than the average and to exercise more.

In conclusion, the author fails to validate the recommendation that anyone who snores should try to eat less than the average person and to exercise more. To solidify/strengthen the argument, the author should provide more concrete evidences to prove that the study is representative of all the people who snore. In addition, the author would have to rule out the abovementioned possibilities that would make person too tired to do exercise.

随风而逝UID: 183634

开头结尾太长了，应该写短些，中间论述要展开

清荷才露UID: 2163929

非常感谢，我会改的。
哪还有什么别的问题吗？
我也不知道自己的水平在哪里。。。