argument147 处女作 1小时 451字 强烈求拍！

olivemmUID: 2150449

今天终于动笔了！备战 4.24 鼎钧 。 强烈球拍！ 谢谢了！

提纲：
1. 调查情况不清楚：样本大小、调查过程、无数据（但是每个方面都只有一句话，怎样充实呢？）。
2. 不只是画质，还有其他原因影响游戏的选择：音乐、剧情等等。
3. 能否承担硬件的花销。
4. 不一定就选W公司的游戏，还有其他竞争对手。价格和经济环境都是影响销售的因素。

感觉开头抄原文太多，结尾思路有点混乱。

The arguer claims that the sales of Whirlwind (W) video games are likely to increase dramatically in the few months according to the following reasons. First, the survey of video-game players suggests that the sale is to be reversed although it declined over the past two years. What is more, W has introduced several games which provide lifelike graphics and require the most advanced computers based on the interest of players aged 10 to 25 years old , the age-group most likely to play video games. However, the arguer fails to convince us for some evident logical fallacies.

First of all, the argument lacks of the details of the survey. The sample size is not known。So it is hard to tell what kinds of video-games the majorities of the players like most. And the selection procedure is not provided. Also, no data is available to the result of the survey. As a result, the credibility of the survey is very low.

Even though the conclusion of the survey is reliable, it is still possible that there lie other factors that will influence the choice when the players are deciding which kind of video games to buy. We cannot deny that most players like the games with good quality and vivid graphics. But how about several other characters? Maybe some prefer the games with wonderful background music, and others regard the moving or interesting stories as the most important factor which appeals to them. A video game contains lifelike graphics but tedious stories will not be sold well.

In addition, I doubt that all the players can afford the most up-to-date computers just for play such video games. The argument says that the people like to play video games most are between 10 to 25. If they are still depended on their parents, will the parents support them to purchase the expensive advanced equipment for just playing games?

Last but not the least, if the assumptions are all valid, players are very likely not to choose the video games introduced by W. Evidence is lacked that W's video games are popular with the players. Perhaps other competitors' productions are more appealing to the players. Furthermore, whether the price is reasonable is unknown. The sale can be easily affected by the economical environment.

Above all, the argument is lack of warranted evidence that the sale of W's video games will increase. Because many other factors will influence the choice of games. And the survey is difficult to be convinced. To strengthen it, the arguer must provide clear survey and take into account other possibilities to influence the choice of games before he can expect the sale of W's games will increase.

hokuto8UID: 2188958

我的同主题文及修改，应该能给你一点提示

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

olivemmUID: 2150449

谢谢！先保存下来晚上认真研究。

hokuto8UID: 2188958

研究完了，告我一声，觉得我的修改思路如何，修改后的文章结构及风格是不是更好。

olivemmUID: 2150449

看完了。觉得你在修改上下了比写作更大的功夫，这点很值得我学习。我写T作文就从没有改过，所以只得了4.5的烂分。现在时间太有限了，不能以量，而只能以质取胜。
首先申明，我只把所有题目和提纲看完了，但还没有看过任何的范文。我觉得按官方范文修改后的论证详细了很多，而不是套用一些套话，很自然。其实只要挑得出错，关键就是怎么把道理讲清楚了。写几篇，多看看官方范文，就觉得大同小异了。
能把这篇的官方范文贴出来看看吗？为什么我收集的里面没有这篇？
自己写得太烂了，看来我要重写了！

issue还是不能丢的。现在很迷茫。。。

愿我们能成为拍友：）

hokuto8UID: 2188958

？？？？？
哪篇？官方范文的话，是没有题库里的题的范文的，都是单独另处的题。
应该就8个issue和6个argu的说~~~~


issue，心颤中——看了挺多的材料，但感觉很难组织起来呀。还没写出第一篇，今天马上就过去了，还有1个小时进入倒计时10天~~~~