同主题写作第一期，也是我的第三篇TWE！

meishenUID: 189284

topic 5A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position


Upon the question whether we should build a factory in our community or not, people have different opinion about it. Those who oppose it argue that the new factory will cause pollution problems, and the quiet, simple life style will never come back. But people who advocate to building a new factory, on the other hand, assert that the new enterprise will bring us many new jobs and can help us improve the economic condition of our community. I totally agree with the latter, for the advantages of building a new factory outweigh its disadvantages.

Obviously, a new factory can provide many new positions. Ten years ago, with the constant economic deterioration, most factories in our community began to bankrupt. This led a great unemployment tide. Many people lost their jobs, and to pay them relieves, the local governments beard a tremendous financial pressure. Building a new factory is an opportunity to solve this issue completely.

Moreover, the related service industries will flourish. When people have jobs, they have steady incomes. They will spend more money on clothes, foods, entertainment and so on. The suppliers of these services will expand their businesses. This means more jobs and more investments.And our community’s economic will have a healthy economic circle.

Pollution is the undeniable disadvantages of building a new factory, with the benefits factories give us, poison chemical substances, polluted air and water and noises are produced either. If we lose the environment we live in, we lose the whole world. However, if we take accurate measures, we can avoid it happens or minimize its bad consequences.

Good or bad, if considered seriously, we can say building a new factory is a wise action. As far as I concern, developing is the primary target of our community at present. We should not refuse it for its potential dangers.

[ 本帖最后由 meishen 于 2006-4-13 18:53 编辑 ]

meishenUID: 189284

顶一顶!人气不旺啊！！！

undoerlcUID: 194641

汗下，别急么>>

whereismyfutureUID: 2127971

Upon the question whether we should build a factory in our community or not, people have different opinion(s) about it. Those who oppose it argue that the new factory. (???? it’s not a complete sentence.)Undauntedly, it will cause pollution problems, and the quiet, simple life style will never come back. But people who advocate to building a new factory, on the other hand, assert that the new enterprise will bring us many new jobs and can help us improve the economic condition(s) of our community. I totally agree with the latter, for the advantages of building a new factory outweigh its disadvantages.
Obviously, a new factory can provide many new positions. Ten years ago, with the constant economic deterioration, most factories in our community began to bankrupt. This led (to) a great unemployment tide(high…rate). Many people lost their jobs, and to pay them relieves(PUZZLED~ appease their grief??), the local governments beard a tremendous financial pressure. (可以说地更清楚点吧　the government had to offer financial support to them, bearing…) Building a new factory is an opportunity to solve this issue completely. (用completely 太绝对了吧，容易被抓逻辑漏洞啊 …to a certain extend)

Moreover, the related service industries will flourish. When people have jobs, they have steady incomes. They will spend more money on clothes, foods, entertainment and so on. (我写这篇文章用了比较多的may, might, likely.不知道是不是收到ａｗ的影响，希望避免绝对，呵呵) The suppliers of these services will expand their businesses. This means more jobs and more investments.　And our community’s economic will have(will be in) a healthy economic circle.
Pollution is the undeniable disadvantages of building a new factory,(. With)  with the benefits factories(the factory giving) give us, poison(poisonous) chemical substances, polluted air and water and noises are produced either. If we lose the environment we live in, we lose the whole world. (呵呵，这么说是不是合适？)However, if we take accurate measures, we can avoid it happens（去掉happens） or minimize its bad consequences.

Good or bad, if considered seriously, we can say building a new factory is a wise action. As far as I concern(concerned), developing(economic development) is the primary target of our community at present. We should not refuse it for its potential dangers.

个人认为条理和结构是清楚的，但是有的地方有点小绝对，还有就是语法的问题～　呵呵～　个人意见，仅供参考～。我的观点正好跟你的相反噢～　嘻嘻。感兴趣的话去批批偶的拙作啊

meishenUID: 189284

谢谢！

meishenUID: 189284

怎么这么冷清啊!只好再顶!

yogurt4UID: 198389

和别人互改看看,先给别人改,然后留下自己习作的链接.

meishenUID: 189284

ding!

模拟信号UID: 2181166

我每次都找补到例子

hdlg_zhangyuUID: 193549

楼主首段写得很不错啊，很有逻辑性。
不过后面的三段之间的过渡连接好像还不够自然。

cannylee0621UID: 2177843

Undauntedly, ? 大无畏的 也许是 undeniablely
solve this issue completely  太绝对了  partially 就好了
When people have jobs, they have steady incomes 有点奇怪的句子组合。
we can avoid it happens or minimize its bad consequences.
语法大问题。两个动词出现在一个没有连接词的句子中，是托福语法改错的重要出题点
说缺点的时候第一段第二段都说有点麻烦了
显得支持观点的两个理由很单薄

楼主逻辑很好尤其第一段真不错
语法问题真的要注意阿。
加油加油
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D2
希望回拍

大风吹UID: 199665

正确的说法应该是，ＡＳ　ＦＡＲ　ＡＳ　Ｉ　ＡＭ　ＣＯＮＣＥＲＮＥＤ，　！

mf1984`UID: 2174556

whereismyfuture  改得挺好了啊

meishenUID: 189284

谢谢大家！

xiaobian731UID: 2140176

Nowadays, as the major problem to the development, the significance of the relationship between economy and environment has loomed large in our society. When it comes to my community, I would support to build a large factory in our town. Although someone would doubt that various pollution would be brought from the factory, the truth is that, we would greatly benefit from the factory if we take accurate treatment to the pollution. It can be discussed on the following reasons.

In the first instance, as the direct effect made by the large factory , a large factory would provide many jobs in our community, helping solve the difficulty of finding jobs, especially in this competitive era. Offered by the factory, people would find such steady jobs, be paid by the reasonable salaries, and have more opportunities to achieve work experiences and technology information. All of these factors are helpful to improve local people’ live qualities, even abilities.

Moreover, the related services would be established or improved as the indirect effect from the factory. On one hand, when people have steady pay, they would have more need to satisfy their lives, which causes more economic investment to our community. On the other hand, as the one of the basic condition of the factory, traffic condition in our community would be improved. It would be convenient to our traveling. Whether as the improving economic investment, or convenient traffic condition, would make our community more flourishing.

Pollution, as the main reason that some people oppose to build the factory in our community, would be treated well by the advanced pollution treatment. Furthermore, the contradiction between development and environment would be solved by the scientific and organized methods. Thus these people’ doubt would be eliminated.

In sum, as we discussed these three aspects above the issue, I strongly hold the opinion that with the scientific and organized management, building a large factory here will lead our community to the prosperity in future.