同主题第6期，topic143，请多指教

夜一UID: 2130338

Topic: Some people believe that students should be given one long vacation each year. Others believe that students should have several short vacations throughout the year. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.

The question whether vacations should be concentrated or scattered has been discussed by education institutions from year to year. As a university student, I prefer several short vacations each year to a single long one.

First of all, scattered vacations provide students more opportunities to change their pace, which can improve their working efficiency, as a result of the limitation of concentration span. Students are usually given a ten-minute break after a forty-minute class, otherwise they will begin to doze off rather than listen to teachers. Similarly, if a semester is too long, students will find it dull to repeat the same daily life, and therefore slow down their progresses. Changes between assiduity and relaxation offer students fresh air and new beginnings, which make them active and energetic. In addition, a short vacation will not cause students to forget lessons before the next semester.

Besides, students can enjoy scattered vacations in different seasons. Instead of staying in front of air-conditioners every summer, students can visit hills in spring, beach in summer, harvest festival in autumn, and skating fields in winter. They view natural beauties, learn local cultures, take nice dishes, and come across interesting people. Leisure time becomes colorful owing to scattered vacations.

Admittedly, a single long vacation also has advantages. At least, having a long vacation, students can save up a considerable amount of money, since they can find relatively steady jobs. However, students will have many chances to earn money in the rest of their lives, but they only have few years of school time to gain knowledge and enjoy vacations.

As far as I have discussed, though a concentrated vacation provides better part-time jobs, several short vacations offer students something more valuable, such as high working efficiency and colorful spare time.

[ 本帖最后由 夜一 于 2006-5-2 14:57 编辑 ]

夜一UID: 2130338

另外刚刚写好的topic26

Topic: It has been announced that a new movie theater may be built in your neighborhood. Do you support or oppose this plan? Why? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

I have heard that a new movie theater may be built in my neighborhood. It will certainly bring us more entertainment. However, though I like watching movies, I oppose this plan. A new theater will cause many consequent problems.

Admittedly, we can reach new films more conveniently with a new theater. Instead of driving to downtown, we can simply walk to the theater after our dinner. We need not worry about traffic jams or parking areas. For those who do not have cars, neither need they put up with crowded subways, nor need they leave for home early in order to catch the last bus. Furthermore, a new theater will attract many businesses, such as restaurants, supermarkets, and department stores, which will improve our local economy.

Nevertheless, a theater nearby will disturb our daily life. Movies always end late till mid-night, and people coming out of the theater would like to talk about stories, characters, performers, and directors. Some of them may even shout excitedly or cry loudly. It is extremely difficult for people living around to go to sleep. Without good rest at night, people will doze off during the day rather than concentrate on their projects. We attend theater no more than twice a week, but we have to tolerate uncomfortable noise every day owing to a new theater.

Besides, a theater will raise some security problems. When businesses thrive around the new theater, streets become crowded and more thieves will appear. Automobiles go back and forth, causing relatively more accidents. We can no longer walk around as ease, or let children go out themselves.

As a result, though a new theater will provide more entertainment and improve regional economy, I do not agree to build it in my neighborhood. I prefer driving to downtown once a week to suffering from everyday noise and anxiety coming from safety problems.

susan8940UID: 160449

先复制回去，晚上改：）
我的https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

DidoyUID: 2181213

以下是我的拙见
scattered vacations provide students more opportunities to change their pace, which can improve their working efficiency, as a result of the limitation of concentration span.这个as a result后面的部分和前面衔接的不是很好呀。。。这个应该是不停顿学习的结果把。。。
其它的没有什么了，写得很流畅！向LZ学习！
另外，这是我的，请帮忙，谢谢！
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... ge=1&highlight=

timboyUID: 193944

Topic: Some people believe that students should be given one long vacation each year. Others believe that students should have several short vacations throughout the year. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.
question whether vacations should be concentrated or scattered has been discussed by education institutions from year to year. As a university student, I prefer several short vacations each year to a single long one.
开头的education institutions 有些累赘，用institutions or universities即可。
First of all, scattered vacations provide students more opportunities to change their pace, which can improve their working efficiency, （as a result of）(by loosing) the limitation of concentration span(s). Students are usually given a ten-minute break after a forty-minute class, otherwise they will begin to doze off rather than listen to teachers. Similarly, if a semester is too long, students will find it dull to repeat the same daily life, and therefore slow down their progresses. Changes between assiduity and relaxation offer students fresh air and new beginnings, which make them active and energetic. In addition, a short vacation（和TS一致，改为复数） will not cause students to forget lessons before the next semester.
主题句有些零散，希望能简洁有力。
Besides, students can enjoy scattered vacations in different seasons. Instead of staying in front of air-conditioners every summer, students can visit hills in spring, beach in summer, harvest festival in autumn（festival能被visit 吗）, and skating fields in winter. They view natural beauties, learn local cultures, take nice dishes, and come across interesting people. Leisure time becomes colorful owing to scattered vacations.（这个优点选的好:)）
, a single long vacation also has advantages. At least, having a long vacation, students can save up a considerable amount of money, since they can find relatively steady jobs. However, students will have many chances to earn money in the rest of their lives, but they only have few years of school time to gain knowledge and enjoy vacations.

As far as I have discussed, though a concentrated vacation provides better part-time jobs, several short vacations offer students something more valuable, such as high working efficiency and colorful spare time.
总结句很好，整体文章不错，应该是5分以上
有时间帮忙看看我的作文
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... e%3D2#pid1768518340

susan8940UID: 160449

两篇一起改了:)

夜一UID: 2130338

原帖由 susan8940 于 2006-5-3 11:05 发表
两篇一起改了:)

谢谢修改
at ease这个词组是有的，因为是中学学的，所以印象比较深刻
at ease是指轻松，没有压力，或者无忧无虑
另外还有with ease，是指熟练，做事情又快又好又不费劲

另外作文我确实很头痛，速度一直上不去
昨天对着我的143看了半天，总觉得论述不对劲，说不到点子上
于是索性换了一个立场，重写了一遍，当然也是因为看到可怡的文受到了一些启发

夜一UID: 2130338

感谢timboy
文章的确是简洁有力的好：）
另外我也不知道festival是否能visit，只是想了半天也不知道秋天能写什么，不过好在visit有很多层意思，应该没有什么问题，说起来visit适用于很多东西，地方也好人也好，所以我想festival也许也能吧。。当然最好能换一个有代表性的属于秋天的地方

夜一UID: 2130338

又写了一边143，换到了完全相反的立场，个人感觉比之前的那一片要好点，至少没有自己觉得心虚气短的地方。。


Topic: Some people believe that students should be given one long vacation each year. Others believe that students should have several short vacations throughout the year. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.

Vacations, often referred to as changes of pace from assiduity to relaxation, play a significant role in students’ school life. The question whether vacations should be concentrated or scattered has been judged by education institutions from year to year. As s university student, I prefer a single long vacation each year to several short ones, since some meaningful plans cannot be conducted in short vacations.

First of all, with a long vacation, students can find better part-time jobs according to their majors. Formal companies are not likely to employ short-time workers, as holding interviews is too costly, either spiritually or economically. Owing to a long vacation, students can obtain such openings. They can gain working experiences in their own areas, and thus prepare for future careers. Additionally, students can receive relatively higher incomes.

Besides, students can carry on big projects in a long vacation. Some of them would like to travel around the country by bicycle, while others may teach children in rural areas. Observing ecosystem of an oasis and studying management of a factory are also good ideas. They provide students social experiences as well as professional knowledge. Students should grasp their chances to take part in such projects. However, the speed of bicycle is limited, children should be educated systematically, ecosystem changes irregularly, and the management of a factory is complicated. Therefore, students have to spend on these projects a considerably long period of time, usually longer than those short vacations.

Admittedly, short vacations offer students opportunities to enjoy different seasons. They can visit hills in spring, beach in summer, harvest festivals in autumn, and skating fields in winter. Furthermore, students do not easily forget their lessons after short vacations. Nevertheless, in my opinion, students should make their vacations more useful rather than simply enjoy relaxation, and they need not worry about courses if they never discard their study.

As far as I have discussed, though short vacations have some advantages, I suggest that students should be given one long vacation each year. Students can find appropriate part-time jobs which benefit their career preparation, and carry on valuable projects which help with their knowledge accumulation.

扁舟子001UID: 204048

Vacations, often referred to as changes of pace from assiduity to relaxation, play a significant role in students’ school life. The question whether vacations should be concentrated or scattered has been judged by education[b]是不是要用educational institutions? institutions from year to year. As s university student, I prefer a single long vacation each year to several short ones, since some meaningful plans cannot be conducted in short vacations.

First of all, with a long vacation, students can find better part-time jobs according to their majors. Formal companies are not likely to employ short-time workers, as holding interviews is too costly, either spiritually我总觉得这个词用在这里不太妥当，要不要换成emotionally? 因为老是要举行面试，大家从情感上来说都很烦Sample Text or economically. Owing to我觉得既然这里要肯定长假的优势，可以用thanks to 更为贴切Sample Text a long vacation, students can obtain such openings. They can gain working experiences in their own areas, and thus这句是不是可以把prepare换成有利于benefit,这样上下衔接更为紧密？Sample Text prepare for future careers. Additionally, students can receive relatively higher incomes.

Besides, students can carry on big projects in a long vacation. Some of them would like to travel around the country by bicycle, while others may teach children in rural areas. Observing ecosystem of an oasis and studying management of a factory are also good ideas. They provide students social experiences as well as professional knowledge. Students should grasp their chances to take part in such projects. However, the speed of bicycle is limited这句话和前面的逻辑关系是什么？不好意思，我没有太明白。Sample Text, children should be educated systematically, ecosystem changes irregularly, and the management of a factory is complicated. Therefore, students have to spend on these projects a considerably long period of time, usually longer than those short vacations.

Admittedly, short vacations offer students opportunities to enjoy different seasons. They can visit hills in spring, beach in summer, harvest festivals in autumn, and skating fields in winter. Furthermore, students do not easily forget their lessons after short vacations. Nevertheless, in my opinion, students should make their vacations more useful rather than simply enjoy relaxation, and they need not worry about courses if they never discard their studystudy 可以用discard 修饰吗？这个我不太清楚。Sample Text.

As far as I have discussed, though short vacations have some advantages, I suggest that students should be given one long vacation each year. Students can find appropriate part-time jobs which benefit their career preparation, and carry on valuable projects which help with their knowledge accumulation.

楼主的文章结构总是很清楚，思路也很清晰。
我也碰到过这样的情况，坚持一个观点的时候，半天想不出论据。也许换一个角度来写，会更好写一点。唉。有时候真是觉得是论据决定论点，是不是应试的悲哀？
除此之外，特别有一点值得我学习的地方是，万一在考场里想不出第三点论据的话，可以尝试写一些对立观点的优缺点。我以前在写文章的时候，有时就是在第三点卡壳，现在学了一招。

夜一UID: 2130338

谢谢扁周子：）
discard是动词亚，不过说不定desert会更加恰当
However, the speed of bicycle is limited, children should be educated systematically, ecosystem changes irregularly, and the management of a factory is complicated. 这句话的意义不是很清楚么。。我再想想。。最近总碰到这种问题，写出来不能让人理解
这句话的本意是，自行车的速度有限，所以周游全国要花时间；儿童需要系统教育，所以支教时间不能太短；生态系统总是无规则变化的，所以找出规律也要时间；工厂的管理很复杂，更加需要时间研究
因为需要时间是一样的，所以就省掉不写了，看来是不行么。。

夜一UID: 2130338

topic33:)


Topic: You have received a gift of money. They money is enough to buy either a piece of jewelry you like or tickets to a concert you want to attend. Which would you buy? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

I received a gift of money recently. I’m glad about this situation, but it is difficult for me to decide whether to buy a piece of jewelry or purchase tickets to a concert. Although I like both of them, unfortunately I can only afford one. Judging carefully, I eventually make up my mind to gain a piece of jewelry.

First of all, jewelry can be preserved for a considerably long period of time. Unlike tickets, which usually become nothing but common sheets by the end of a concert, a piece of jewelry can maintain from year to year. As a university student with poor incomes, I had better choose something durable, rather than exhaust such a large amount of money within a few days.

Besides, a piece of jewelry can be sent to family members, respected teachers, or important friends. I may give it to my mother on her birthday, or present it to my sister on her wedding ceremony. I may take it to my professor at the time of graduating, or bring it to my best friend when she is about to study abroad. While a concert will gradually lose its color in our memory, a piece of jewelry will never fade as time goes by. It carries my congratulations and acknowledgements, and demonstrates our affection and benediction.

Admittedly, I’m rather afraid that the concert which I really want to attend will never be repeated. However, I understand that whenever one obtains something, one will lose another. Perhaps I can find a record instead, or wait for another concert that will be held when I begin to earn my life.

Though I like the concert on less than a piece of jewelry, I have to sacrifice it. A piece of jewelry is more durable, and can be given to others as a perfect present. At any rate, I love that piece of jewelry very much, and I will not regret of purchasing it.

yolanda8563UID: 2163535

我觉得开头好像有点绕了，第二个理由和我想得一样，但是我又觉得题目是说给自己买的，用送别人做理由是不是不太合适？或许可以写珠宝可以让自己变得美丽，增加自信，使得自己的工作和生活有更大的提升？我也还没有想到好的理由，大家可以讨论一下