同主题第7期，topic169，请多指教：）

夜一UID: 2130338

昨天刚写了topic33，就是选珠宝还是音乐会票的那个，比较汗的是虽然题目全不相干，但是用到的单词却有好多一样的，于是这次的文破天荒的只超时了10分钟，多写文章果然是有用的，今后还要勤加练习，考试已不久矣
下面贴出来的是修改过的，因为写的时候没想到很多能说的话，总共只写了243，于是修改了一下，加了一些语句，最后大概是290字
请大家多多指教：）

Topic: People listen to music for different reasons and at different times. Why is music important to many people? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.

We are surrounded by music. We listened to songs sung by our parents when we were babies. We learned to sing ballad when we were children. We looked for pop music records when we were teenagers. We lined up for concert tickets when we were university students. We love music, and music serves as an essential part in our life.

First of all, music demonstrates people’s affection and benediction. Songs from parents make a baby feel warm and safe, while songs from fiends at a birthday party carry congratulations and best wishes. People play music to celebrate a wedding ceremony, as well as to express sorrow on the leaving of a hero. People play music to appreciate a boundless forest, as well as to miss a family member far away. People’s happiness, sadness, excitement, and anxiety are all included in music.

Besides, music offers people relaxation, especially after a hard time of assiduity. Unlike noise, which usually bothers people, music is pleasant and beautiful. Scientific studies have shown that rhythmic sounds, such as music, will probably make people comfortable. As a result, students would like to listen to a pop star at the time finishing their assignment, and officers may turn to the classic on arriving home.

In addition, music is a form of culture. As a part of art, music ranges from popular to classic, from academic to rural, and from Chinese to American. It indicates histories, customs, and religions, and contributes to dramas, movies, and televisions programs. It stays with cities, rivers, and mountains, and connects plants, animals, and human beings.

Music involves in our everyday life. It is considerably important to people, because it shows their affection and benediction, provides them relaxation, and plays a significant role in their culture.

[ 本帖最后由 夜一 于 2006-5-4 20:23 编辑 ]

loiswtfUID: 2177029

We are surrounded by music. We listened to songs sung by our parents when we were babies. We learned to sing ballad(s) when we were children. We looked for pop music records when we were teenagers. We lined up for concert tickets when we were university students. We love music, and music serves as an essential part in our life(lives).
First of all, music demonstrates people’s affection and benediction. Songs from parents make a baby feel warm and safe, while songs from fiends at a birthday party carry congratulations and best wishes. People play music to celebrate a wedding ceremony, as well as to express sorrow on the leaving of a hero. People play music to appreciate a boundless forest, as well as to miss a family member far away. People’s happiness, sadness, excitement, and anxiety are all included in music.
Besides, music offers people relaxation, especially after a hard time of assiduity. Unlike noise, which usually bothers people, music is pleasant and beautiful. Scientific studies have shown that rhythmic sounds, such as music, will probably make people comfortable. As a result（与前一句有因果关系嘛？不太恰当）, students would like to listen to a pop star at the time(after) finishing their assignment, and officers may turn to(on ,turn to 表示向什么求助吧) the classic on arriving home.

In addition, music is a form of culture. As a part of art, music ranges from popular to classic, from academic to rural, and from Chinese to American. It indicates histories, customs, and religions, and contributes to dramas, movies, and televisions(television) programs. It stays with cities, rivers, and mountains, and connects plants, animals, and human beings.

Music involves (is involved) in our everyday life. It is considerably important to people, because it shows their affection and benediction, provides them relaxation, and plays a significant role in their culture.(这段过于简单了吧，可能是时间不够了，加油啊！我也常超时，不过写这篇超2min，很欣慰了，呵呵)
个人认为结构清晰，例子也够多，够生动，但注意句子之间的连贯。
若有时间看看我的：）
:):)https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=457317&extra=page%3D3

susan8940UID: 160449

大概看了下，好的话就不说啦：）
个人认为第二段和第四段首句可改下，从people的角度出发，比如
music is a significant way for people to expree their emotions.
people are supposed to be able to share and enjoy different culture
夜一觉得呢？讨论下吧
有空再细改，马上看语法啦
我的有空帮改改啊：）随便改哪篇
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... page%3D1&page=7

QuincySMUID: 2162088

songs from fiends(friends) at a birthday party carry congratulations and best wishes.
One R makes a big difference(Fiend mean Demon)

DidoyUID: 2181213

夜一呵。。。你的第一段写得太好了！叹为观止！
benediction这个词好像偏正式了一点
另外就是这篇文章可以很明显的看出是改过的，我觉得看的时候觉得句子好，用词好，例子好，不过给我一种“堆砌”的感觉。。。不知道你明不明白我的意思。。。就是没有一条思路，每一段都觉得是好句子的堆砌。。。
不过确实是好句好词啊。。。。。

归来的虎子UID: 181060

有些小地方，提醒楼主注意：

provide with

television programs

其他的都不错，就是第三理由段建议从people角度来说，首句music is a form of culture让人感觉有点摸不着头脑

楼主有时间看看我的
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

夜一UID: 2130338

太感谢大家乐~
真的是很vital的错误亚
fiends。。。别人会觉得中国人果然很逆天。。
provide sb with sth
provide sth for sb
写了这么半天了，用了无数个provide，才知道原来全错了。。。

嗯，有堆砌词语的嫌疑么？我其实并不是故意的亚，G的单词我背得最熟的就是A-C，benediction背得尤其的熟，比wish用的还顺手。。比较汗

夜一UID: 2130338

今天刚写完的，topic103
我好像走进误区了，一写就一大堆，写得虽然顺畅，可是30分钟明显写不完那么多字的亚。。。

Topic: In your opinion, what is the most important characteristic (for example, honesty, intelligence, a sense of humor) that a person can have to be successful in life? Use specific reasons and examples from your experience to explain your answer. When you write your answer, you are not limited to the examples listed in the question.

We admire professors, managers, champions, and government leaders, because we think they are successful. We appreciate their intelligence, praise their humor and critical thinking, and try to study their good tempers. Yet we should also realize their honesty, which is obvious but seldom emphasized by mass media. In my opinion, among all the characteristics of a successful person, honesty is the most essential one.

First of all, a person cannot succeed if he is not honest to himself. Suppose a person who never admits his short-comings, difficulties, problems, or errors, but always addicts to illusion, fantasy, and blandishment, it is really hard for us to imagine his achievement. In order to approach success, one should carefully examine oneself as well as surroundings, take every situation into account, and make correct decisions. As a result, one should be as honest as possible to oneself.

Besides, a person cannot succeed if he is not honest to his friends. We are not likely to help a person who often lies to others, or consider him dependable. A professor will receive complaints if she often provides wrong information. A manager will lose his staff if she never tells the truth. An athlete will be forced out if she uses drugs forbidden. A president will be overtaken if he cheated his civilians. It is impossible for a person to establish himself if his results are regarded as unbelievable, except negatively. Anyway, that is rather far from success.

Admittedly, other characteristics of those successful people, such as intelligence, humor, critical thinking, and good tempers, are also very important. Intelligence makes the road towards success smooth and plain. A sense of humor encourages people to overcome difficulties. Critical thinking avoids unnecessary problems. A good temper attracts friends and workmates. However, a person will be misled by his intelligence if he rejects to accept the truth, and a person cannot gain any friends if he lacks sincerity. Hence a person without honesty cannot succeed no matter how humor or critical he is.

As far as I have discussed, probably no characteristics is more crucial than honesty. A successful person is always honest to himself as well as his friends.

夜一UID: 2130338

果然是误区，今天这篇topic46又是370
不能忍了，我决定以后只写4段

Topic: What are the important qualities of a good son or daughter? Have these qualities changed or remained the same over time in your culture? Use specific reasons and examples to support answer.

Stories about good sons and daughters are handed down from generation to generation, and are still frequently heard in everyday news. We praise them and appreciate them. Several important qualities of a good son or daughter, including honesty, politeness, and responsibleness, have never changed over time in my culture.

First of all, a good son or daughter should be honest. Honesty is regarded as a basic requirement of to a good person. We do not like people who cheat others, such as tell lies or steal money. We do not respect people who cheat themselves, such as refuse to admit errors or addict to illusions. They cannot be accepted by others, nor can they success in their own fields. Whether in history or in our modern society, a person without honesty cannot become a good person, and can never become a good son or daughter.

Besides, politeness demonstrates a person’s personality as well as education. We feel uncomfortable when coming across someone impolite. As a result, a rude person will gain bad reputation not only for himself, but also for his or her parents. Therefore, an unvaried thought indicates that a good son or daughter should be polite enough in order not to suffer his or her parents. Such a person asks for permissions when using other’s items, express sorrows when bothering others, and sends back acknowledgements when receiving presents from others.

Furthermore, good sons or daughters will never escape their responsibilities. They go home on vacations when parents want to see them, take care of their parents when unexpected accidents occur, and make their parents feel happy and warm. As parents brought them up while they were young, they should award their parents when they have grown up. Such a concept, which can be dated back as early as the first legend, has rooted deeply in my culture, and has never been altered.

As far as I have discussed, honesty is a fundamental quality of a good person, politeness gain respects for oneself as well as one’s parents, and responsibilities cannot be forgotten. Honesty, politeness, and responsibleness are the three main qualities of a good son or daughter, and have remained the same since the beginning of my culture.

夜一UID: 2130338

终于没有再写那么多了，topic102，撒花~
基本上符合时间限制了
再多写几篇看看：）

Topic: School should ask students to evaluate their teachers. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

At my university, we receive an opportunity to evaluate our teachers at each end of a semester. We judge the quality of lectures, the quantity of assignment, and the impact of exams. Though some of us regard it meaningless, or even harmful, I think such a kind of survey is well worth, because it is useful to teachers and schools, and profitable to students.

First of all, the evaluation provides teachers with feedbacks from their students. From the survey, teachers can learn whether students can understand classes, finish homework, and demonstrate their abilities in exams. Therefore, teachers can adjust their teaching plans and improve their teaching methods, which will benefit the following students.

Besides, the evaluation enables schools to keep in touch with students. From the survey, schools can know whether their teachers are responsible, how much students are interested in their study, and which form of teaching is preferred by students. Obtaining the students’ tendency, schools can decide ways to increase their education efficiency, which will eventually benefit students.

Admittedly, the evaluation does have some short-coming, just as some students worry about. Some teachers may cater to their students, teaching less than necessary, in order to become popular. Then students cannot gain enough knowledge and probably waste their school time. Additionally, the survey may have not been well designed, and as a result, would reveal wrong information. However, good teachers will not sacrifice their teaching quality for popularity, and the evaluation survey can be improved as time goes by.

As far as I have discussed, though not as ideal as we expect, the evaluation should be required by schools. It will benefit students by providing teachers with suggestions to modify their teaching activities, and offering schools information about their education efficiency.