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Ray8511UID: 2136594

TOPIC: ISSUE130 - "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
WORDS: 687          TIME: 0:41:25          DATE: 2006-7-6

The speaker asserts that how children socialized today determines the destiny of society and unfortunately we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society. I agree with the speaker insofar as that the influence of children on the society in future and our today influence on how children future work is crucial. However, the speaker unnecessarily extends the assertion to that we have yet learned how to raise children. According to the life fact, though there are still many problems in the way of cultivating children, we have successfully provide a lot of elites to support the society development and drive the society develop toward a better direction.

Children are the builders of the world in future. Tens of years after, those, whom is called children toady, become adults and assume the responsibility of building the word. Hence how they work determine the vision of the world. On the other hand, people's personality, value system, horizon, attitude, habit etc, which is largely developed in their youth, determine how they contribute to the society. Hence the way children are socialized exerts effect the vision of future world.

Due to the importance of the process of children's cultivation, we should be careful in way to raise children. Admittedly, undesirably, we now have several problems in the area. Consider for example, children now are assumed of undue academic burden. Notwithstanding academic cultivation is important for children and the society, undue emphasis on academic can only bring in count product, which ruins the original purpose. Another problem involved the unbalanced development of children. Neither a comprehensive academic education nor a balance cultivation of academic and psychology is provided for children, which result in students without necessary common sense and suffering from psychological problems.

However, these problems cannot conceal the fact that we do success in many other aspects--we have provided mass of elites to urge the development of society. The famous genius like Einstein and Bill Gates come to mind immediately. The speaker might dispute that these genius' success are much due to their exceptional gifts and personal endeavor. Though this assertion is rational, we cannot overlook the importance of the society’s influence on genius. If Einstein was born in African other than German, where he has little access to contact the science, can he still discover his famous theorems? If Bill Gates live in a country filled with war, can he still invent the Windows System and set up the Microsoft? The society provides basis and background for genius to perform. Also, we have cultivate enlighten, skilled, reasoned populace which form the main labor force of the society. Take our education system for example. Though it is exposed to controversies, no one can dispute the fact that it has provided an unprecedented talent resource the support the high pace developing world.

More, problems in children cultivation are solvable as long as all realm of society work together. Take the two problems mentioned above form example. Firstly, the undue academic burden has called people's attention and strategies have been taken. Take China for example, again. Even the government has realized the problems and manipulates education department to decrease the undue burden to promise a useful education. Secondly, for the coverage of academic knowledge and balance of academic and psychological education schools begins to adopt comprehensive curriculums and psychological experts are invited to introduce the psychological health and help students about their confusion.

In sum, since the children is the builder of the future world and the way they are socialized determine how they function in future, we should be critical about the raise of children. Although, there are existing problems in the cultivation of children now, we should not straightforward assert that we have not yet learned how to raise children. Life examples tell us that we have achieved a great success and we can solve the problems we encountered. As long as the people are open- minded to the problems and assume an active role to search the solution, it is expected that our human will move toward a better direction.

carolinexixiUID: 2224375

The speaker asserts that how children socialized today determines the destiny of society and unfortunately we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society. I agree with the speaker insofar as that the influence of children on the society in future and our today influence on how children future work is crucial.(这句话有点累赘吧,有点费解) However, the speaker unnecessarily extends the assertion to that we have (not)yet learned how to raise children. According to the life fact, though there are still many problems in the way of cultivating children, we have successfully provide a lot of elites to support the society development and drive the society develop toward a better direction.

Children are the builders of the world in future. Tens of years after, those, whom is called children toady, become adults and assume the responsibility of building the word. Hence how they work determine the vision of the world. On the other hand, people's personality, value system, horizon, attitude, habit etc, which is largely developed in their youth, determine how they contribute to the society. Hence the way children are socialized exerts effect the vision of future world. (这段对于socialization的作业谈的过于简单了,而且也并不是很贴切,建议这段增加篇幅)
Due to the importance of the process(去掉the process) of children's cultivation, we should be careful in way to raise children. Admittedly, undesirably, we now have several problems in the area. Consider for example, children now are assumed of undue academic burden. Notwithstanding academic cultivation is important for children and the society, undue emphasis on academic can only bring in count product(好象没见过count product这么说,最好改成counterproductive), which ruins the original purpose. Another problem involved the unbalanced development of children. Neither a comprehensive academic education nor a balance cultivation of academic and psychology is provided for children, which result in students without necessary common sense and suffering from psychological problems.

However, these problems cannot conceal the fact that we do success in many other aspects--we have provided mass of elites to urge(urge不好,改用promote) the development of society. The famous genius like Einstein and Bill Gates come to mind immediately. The speaker might dispute that these genius' success are much due to their exceptional gifts and personal endeavor. Though this assertion is rational, we cannot overlook the importance of the society’s influence on genius. If Einstein was born in African other than German, where he has little access to contact the science, can he still discover his famous theorems? If Bill Gates live in a country filled with war, can he still invent the Windows System and set up the Microsoft? The society provides basis and background for genius to perform. Also, we have cultivate enlighten(enlightened), skilled, reasoned populace which form the main labor force of the society. Take our education system for example. Though it is exposed to controversies, no one can dispute the fact that it has provided an unprecedented talent resource the support the high pace developing world.(这两个例子似乎并不太合适, 因为只是社会大环境的作用,并没有怎么强调我们对孩子的教育培养)

More, problems in children cultivation are solvable as long as all realm of society work together. Take the two problems mentioned above form example. Firstly, the undue academic burden has called people's attention and strategies have been taken. Take China for example, again. Even the government has realized the problems and manipulates education department to decrease the undue burden to promise a useful education. Secondly, for the coverage of academic knowledge and balance of academic and psychological education schools begins to adopt comprehensive curriculums and psychological experts are invited to introduce the psychological health and help students about their confusion.

In sum, since the children is the builder of the future world and the way they are socialized determine how they function in future, we should be critical about the raise of children. Although, there are existing problems in the cultivation of children now, we should not straightforward(straightforwardly) assert that we have not yet learned how to raise children. Life examples tell us that we have achieved a great success and we can solve the problems we encountered. As long as the people are open- minded to the problems and assume an active role to search the solution, it is expected that our human will move toward a better direction

总体来说,语言能力很不错,结构上我个人觉得有点失重,第二段应该着重写,倒数第二段去掉, 我写的思路跟你是差不多的, 不知道是不是个人倾向影响了判断?

carolinexixiUID: 2224375

呵呵,我的issue130, 欢迎指教
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[ 本帖最后由 carolinexixi 于 2006-7-6 22:57 编辑 ]