issue212 就要上考场了，突然发现自己 I 越写越像A这个会被ets枪毙吗？并请斑竹指点

weiweiwawaUID: 2208145

还有一周多就考了，下午写的提纲，晚上限时，没想写成这般膜样。。。。。。
我已经有好几篇写得很像argument了。。。不知道这种写法和不合适。。。
期待 大家的 指点。。。。。。焦集中

TOPIC: ISSUE212 - "If a goal is worthy, then any means taken to attain it is justifiable."
WORDS: 721          TIME: 0:48:44          DATE: 06-7-14
The speaker asserts that people can take any means to achieve their goals once that are worthy, In my opinion, what the speaker draw out is misleading and subjective, neglecting to clearly define the precise definitions of worth and means. In fact, we need to think more before taking any action to fulfill our goals.

To begin with, how do we define the criteria of what is worthy while what is not? Common sense tells us that different people may hold respective views on determining what is valuable for them at earth. For instance, when coming to the exploration of natural source, ecologists may profess to deter it considering the ecological balance and environmental effect and the like; whereas, economists may stand on the antithesis of promoting the project because it can bring abundant of raw energy, potential market and local economical boom. Likewise, take the technology of clone for example. While a lot of scientists are eager to dig into such magic field, many sociologist resist the further study on cloning human being for fear of the advent of the possible moral and ethical panic among our society. Thereby, there is no denying that people may have different attitudes to the same matter, so that there can not be united and reasonable standers to weigh our goals.

Another question concealing in the issue is that, granted the goal is thorough worthy, how can people carry out their actions, or to say, process the means towards their goals? Here, the speaker tells us to "take any means", which is undoubtedly dangerous, not only to ourselves but also to our society as a whole. Consider two of the countless actual facts in our daily life. Nowadays, many enterprises take any means to compete with others to gain the maximal profit from the market; as a result, some utilize the despicable means like sending out false message to smirch the fame of other competitors or illegally taking hand in the management of others. All of these are finally proven to be a counterproductive means---once the truth is uncovered, the fame and credit of themselves will be destroyed. The same, in schools, with the high pressure from the teachers, parents, fellows and even themselves, students tremendously gape after high marks in examinations, which can bring praise and applause from the outside. Under such circumstance, many students, especially these who perform poorly in their study, take the means of plagiarizing the answers of others. Can we say that is really worthy? In fact, except the risk of being punished and laughed, these students attain nothing.

Thereby, proper and reasonable means without jeopardizing the interest of others----no matter what it is---should be encouraged. Incalculable historical events teach us that, without continuous hardworking and trying, people can seldom make great progress or achievement. For example, the well-known inventors Edison made great efforts to attain his goal of find the suitable material for light bulb. Before his final success, he had almost tries 1800 kinds of materials, which is, out of question, a long and hard process--- ceaseless attempt and failure. There is no doubt that if Edison stopped during the process, the coming of light bulb would be deferred in human history. But, actually, he took any possible means to persist on. So, we can see that a right means should not be any, but proper and reasonable as well as of no harm to others.

Additionally, how could people behave with the purpose of attaining their goals? In my view, there are two primary means. One is through education: cultivating people more moral standards, responsibility, honest, loyalty and many other fair qualities. With the right criteria and restriction people can rationally weigh and take into practice. The other is through law: forcefully controlling the deeds of people. As we know law is a powerful tool for our society to maintain its harmony and process its further steps, so law is a systematical and formal means for our society to restrict what education can not.  I think, the two effective tools can help people to assuringly determine their goals and finally attain it by their proper means,

Overall, I stand against the assertion of the speaker, since before people take action they need a accurate criteria to weigh their goals and take out their means. The righter we evaluate, the better we will perform.

[ 本帖最后由 weiweiwawa 于 2006-7-14 23:09 编辑 ]

weiweiwawaUID: 2208145

哭死 ～～～～～～怎么没人理哪 ？
大家快帮帮忙给看看啊。。。
我昨晚做了一晚上恶梦 ，都是在AW。。。痛苦。。。

karadeUID: 2223579

能写720，说明你速度过关了

The speaker asserts that people can take any means to achieve their goals once that are worthy, In my opinion, what the speaker draw out is misleading and subjective, neglecting to clearly define the precise definitions of worth and means.（ In fact,/） we need to think more before taking any action to fulfill our goals.

To begin with, how do we define the criteria of what is worthy （while what is/）（or） not? Common sense tells us that different people may hold respective views on determining what is valuable for them at earth. For instance, when coming to the exploration of natural source, ecologists may profess to deter it considering the ecological balance and environmental effect and the like; whereas, economists may stand on the antithesis of promoting the project because it can bring abundant of raw energy, potential market and local economical boom. Likewise, take the technology of clone for example. While a lot of scientists are eager to dig into such magic field, many sociologist resist the further study on cloning human being for fear of the advent of the possible moral and ethical panic among our society. Thereby, there is no denying that people may have different attitudes to the same matter, so that there can not be united and reasonable standers to weigh our goals.

(Another question concealing in the issue is that, /)granted the goal is thorough worthy, how can people carry out their actions, or to say, process the means towards their goals? Here, the speaker tells us to "take any means", which is undoubtedly dangerous, not only to ourselves but also to our society as a whole. Consider two of the countless actual facts in our daily life. Nowadays, many enterprises take any means to compete with others to gain the maximal profit from the market; as a result, some utilize the despicable means like sending out false message to smirch the fame of other competitors or illegally taking hand in the management of others. All of these are finally proven to be a counterproductive means---once the truth is uncovered, the fame and credit of themselves will be destroyed. The same, in schools, with the high pressure from the teachers, parents, fellows and even themselves, students tremendously gape after high marks in examinations, which can bring praise and applause from the outside. Under such circumstance, many students, especially these who perform poorly in their study, take the means of plagiarizing the answers of others. Can we say that is really worthy? In fact, except the risk of being punished and laughed, these students attain nothing.

Thereby, proper and reasonable means without jeopardizing the interest of others----no matter what it is---should be encouraged. Incalculable historical events teach us that, without continuous hardworking and trying, people can seldom make great progress or achievement. For example, the well-known inventors Edison made great efforts to attain his goal of find the suitable material for light bulb. Before his final success, he had almost tries 1800 kinds of materials, which is, out of question, a long and hard process--- ceaseless attempt and failure. There is no doubt that if Edison stopped during the process, the coming of light bulb would be deferred in human history. But, actually, he took any possible means to persist on. So, we can see that a right means should not be any, but proper and reasonable as well as of no harm to others.

Additionally, how could people behave with the purpose of attaining their goals? In my view, there are two primary means. One is through education: cultivating people more moral standards, responsibility, honest, loyalty and many other fair qualities. With the right criteria and restriction people can rationally weigh and take into practice. The other is through law: forcefully controlling the deeds of people. As we know law is a powerful tool for our society to maintain its harmony and process its further steps, so law is a systematical and formal means for our society to restrict what education can not.  I think, the two effective tools can help people to assuringly determine their goals and finally attain it by their proper means,

Overall, I stand against the assertion of the speaker, since before people take action they need a accurate criteria to weigh their goals and take out their means. The righter we evaluate, the better we will perform.

就改这么多先，要吃饭了

weiweiwawaUID: 2208145

还有一个问题～～例子!!!!

看了ETS给的范文，大多就是一个或两三个例子展开全文。。。作者把例子说得很细很透。
如果我们例子一多，只好泛泛而谈，这样会不会写出来没深度那？

所以，evidence and reasong 怎样调剂与利用才最合适那 ？？？？
期待大家讨论啊

expire7UID: 2160574

写成A肯定不行。I只需要抓住一方面写得有理有据就可以了。不需要像A考虑完整的逻辑关系。
例子问题只有个人考虑了。有人一片5个例子但是控制的好。有人一片就一个例子。还是看不同的作文功底的。

dicmiUID: 183392

seat

The speaker asserts that people can take any means to achieve their goals once that are [that are是不对d~~]worthy, In my opinion, what the speaker draw out is misleading and subjective, neglecting to clearly define the precise definitions of worth and means. In fact, we need to think more before taking any action to fulfill our goals.[开头的确很像Arg  @@]

To begin with, how do we define the criteria of what is worthy while what is not [用while链接的这两个短语罗嗦了，whether it is worthy or not,因为what is 用了两次感觉不是很好嘛]? Common sense tells us that different people may hold respective views on determining what is valuable for them at earth. For instance, when coming to the exploration of natural source, ecologists may profess to deter it considering the ecological balance and environmental effect and the like; whereas, economists may stand on the antithesis of promoting the project because it can bring abundant of raw energy, potential market and local economical boom. Likewise, take the technology of clone [直接用clone 代替technology of clone 是不是简洁一点？]for example. While a lot of scientists are eager to dig into such magic field, many sociologist resist the further study on cloning human being for fear of the advent of the possible moral and ethical panic among our society. Thereby, there is no denying that people may have different attitudes to the same matter, so that there can not be united and reasonable standers [standards] to weigh our goals. [这一段写了太多的关于存在不同方法的定义吧？记得那个AW6分的牛牛的作文，那篇关于just law & unjust law的首段也是定义。这种写法我不好说，但是我记得修锐提的一种开头模式中有叫定义+观点的方法，可以把定义缩写提到开头那里，效果也很不错的。但是，总的说，如果你时间够，多打点字数，肯定是有好处的]

Another question concealing [被动吧？concealed] in the issue is that, granted the goal is thorough [adv. thoroughly] worthy, how can people carry out their actions, or to say, process the means towards their goals? Here, the speaker tells us to "take any means", which is undoubtedly dangerous, not only to ourselves but also to our society as a whole. Consider two of the countless actual facts in our daily life. Nowadays, many enterprises take any means to compete with others to gain the maximal profit from the market; as a result, some utilize the despicable means like sending out false message to smirch the fame of other competitors or illegally taking hand in the management of others.[这个表达很赞，可以学习~~~] All of these are finally proven [proved] to be a counterproductive means---once the truth is uncovered, the fame and credit of themselves will be destroyed. The same [the same可以单独使用？保留。。], in schools, with the high pressure from the teachers, parents, fellows and even themselves [这个罗嗦了], students tremendously gape [？？] after high marks in examinations, which can bring praise and applause from the outside. Under such circumstance, many students, especially these who perform poorly in their study, take the means of plagiarizing the answers of others. Can we say that is really worthy? In fact, except the risk of being punished and laughed, these students attain nothing. [你的例子写的太长了，对例子的分析则显不足，正常的结构是例子之后有分析，段末来一句对本段的总结。////这一段开始写不择手段是不行的了。。]

Thereby, proper and reasonable means without jeopardizing the interest of others----no matter what it is---should be encouraged. Incalculable historical events teach us that, without continuous hardworking and trying, people can seldom make great progress or achievement. For example, the well-known inventors Edison made great efforts to attain his goal of find the suitable material for light bulb. Before his final success, he had almost tries 1800 kinds of materials, which is, out of question, a long and hard process--- ceaseless attempt and failure. There is no doubt that if Edison stopped during the process, the coming of light bulb would be deferred in human history. But, actually, he took any possible means to persist on. So, we can see that a right means should not be any, but proper and reasonable as well as of no harm to others.

Additionally, how could people behave with the purpose of attaining their goals? In my view, there are two primary means. One is through education: cultivating people more moral standards, responsibility, honest, loyalty and many other fair qualities. With the right criteria and restriction people can rationally weigh and take into practice. The other is through law: forcefully controlling the deeds of people. As we know law is a powerful tool for our society to maintain its harmony and process its further steps, so law is a systematical and formal means for our society to restrict what education can not.  I think [这个就不要了把], the two effective tools can help people to assuringly determine their goals and finally attain it by their proper means,

Overall, I stand against the assertion of the speaker, since before people take action they need a accurate criteria to weigh their goals and take out their means. The righter [more comprehensive这个如何？更加全面] we evaluate, the better we will perform.

[总的来说
语言读起来很顺。很流畅。除了一些个别的小问题，注意下就好了。恩，还有例子的引用太长了一点，会出问题的。
逻辑嘛，算是清晰的，除了B1的定义段不敢肯定之外，当然你B3的论点 我不是很清楚。你什么时候把提纲发给我看看好吧：）
除了开始几段，如开头，结尾等像A，其他还是I的样子，所以表怕拉]

[ 本帖最后由 dicmi 于 2006-7-15 12:24 编辑 ]

weiweiwawaUID: 2208145

你比如说这个题目。目标与手段
你所谓的一个方面，是不是到底如何采取MEANS那？
当然，如果这样的话，提纲就是这样
1。 让步，竭尽全力可以帮助人们实现自己的目标
2。 但不能ANY, 因为。。。。。。
3。 （反这说）应该遵守道德合法绿的底线

我对这个题目的理解，唯一的不同就是，考虑了 WORTHY~谁来告诉我门道的什么只得的那，大家众所不一。。。。
这难道就是分了两个方面马？我不是很赞同。。。
你想，如果，我加入这个，其实知头尾想和的。看我得提纲
1。 需要一个统一的标准
2。 不能ANY
3。 在合理4和适当的前提下TRY BEST
4。 如何合理和统一： 需要道德和法律

请在深入的说一下，我还不是很理解～～～谢了

weiweiwawaUID: 2208145

我得提纲就在上面，我刚才留下的
本想讨论一下，这篇文章到底如何安排好。。。可是没有回音
你什么时候考啊 ？？
其实B3 就是 在进一步反驳ANY，也就是你文章里的那个让步。。。呢子细想一下救命白了
只是我们用的地方和逻辑不一样