Argument2 清凉夏日2组

PsychocandyUID: 171159

2 The following appeared in a letter sent by a committee of homeowners from the Deerhaven Acres to all homeowners in Deerhaven Acres.

"Seven years ago, homeowners in nearby Brookville community adopted a set of restrictions on how the community's yards should be landscaped and what colors the exteriors of homes should be painted. Since then, average property values have tripled in Brookville. In order to raise property values in Deerhaven Acres, we should adopt our own set of restrictions on landscaping and housepainting."

提纲：
一、没有证据证明Brookville的地产升值是因为实行了新的landscaping 和housepainting限制。
二、没有充足的理由为什么Deerhaven也要实行landscaping和housepainting限制。三点：①Deerhaven是否真的需要这样的限制；②B城市是七年前实行的限制，现在情况不同；③可能有更好的方法来提高Deerhaven的地产价值。

The author argues that Deerhaven Acres should also adopt a set of restrictions on landscaping and housepainting as Brookville community has done. But there are several logical flaws in the argument. And the author needs to provide more information and evidence as his reasons for this argument.

First, the author fails to establish the causal relationship between the increase in Brookville’s property values and the set of restrictions on landscaping and housepainting that the community adopted. It was very likely that after the introduction of the restrictions, houses in Brookville looked better organized and in better harmony than before, but it is naïve to believe that property values in a community increases simply because of better appearance of the community. Also, the author fails to rule out other possibilities that could have accounted for the increase of Brookville’s property value. For example, it might be because the general economic condition of Brookville community’s area improved that the area attracts more businesses than before and this led to an increase in property values.

In addition, the author fails to provide sound reasons why Deerhaven Acre’s community should also adopt a set of restrictions on landscaping and housepainting to increase the property values. Even if Brookville has been successful to increase the property values by adopting a set of restrictions on how the community's yards should be landscaped and what colors the exteriors of homes should be painted, there is little reason to believe that Deerhaven Acre would also benefit from adopting a similar set of restrictions. First, there is no reason why Deerhaven Acre should need the restrictions on landscaping and housepainting, it is possible that houses in Deerhaven Acre have already looked good enough and organized enough. Restrictions may be totally unnecessary and may even risk causing the community to look monotonous. Second, Brookville adopted the restrictions seven years ago, and these restrictions might have only applied to the situations seven years ago and now everything is different. In addition, there may be other better ways to increase the property value of in Deerhaven Acre. For example, the community may focus on improve the community’s environment or public security which may be the factors which might actually have impeded the increase in property value.

In conclusion, without more thorough information about Deerhaven Acre, we cannot make sure what policy is the best for the community to implement to increase the property values in Deerhaven Acre.

[ 本帖最后由 Psychocandy 于 2006-7-21 23:30 编辑 ]

leonnieUID: 2216142

Argument2 清凉夏日2组


The author argues that Deerhaven Acres should also adopt a set of restrictions on landscaping and housepainting as Brookville community has done[since seven years ago]. But there are several logical flaws in the argument. And the author needs to provide more information and evidence as his reasons for this argument.[个人觉得第一段应尽可能把题目信息整合并概括出来， 这是看北美范文的心得，但有人说不能大家都写一个模式的东西，anyway,who knows]

First, the author fails to establish the causal relationship between the increase in Brookville’s property values and [the set of restrictions on landscaping and housepainting that the community adopted.][这里可以简化,因为在第一段你已经提到过了 例如：the restrictions on landscaping and housepainting implemented seven years ago]  It was very likely that after the introduction of the restrictions, houses in Brookville looked better organized and in better harmony than before, but it is naïve to believe that property values in a community increases simply because of better appearance of the community. Also, the author fails to rule out other possibilities that could have accounted for the increase of Brookville’s property value. For example, it might be because the general economic condition of Brookville community’s area improved that the area attracts more businesses than before and this led to an increase in property values.[Therefore, the author fails to demonstrate that the restrictions should be responsible for the increase in value]
[还有一个逻辑错误可以说一说：we are not informed that the homeowners implement the restrictions]


In addition, the author fails to provide sound reasons why Deerhaven Acre’s community should also adopt a set of restrictions on landscaping and housepainting to increase the property values. Even if Brookville has been successful to increase the property values by adopting a set of restrictions on how the community's yards should be landscaped and what colors the exteriors of homes should be painted, there is little reason to believe that Deerhaven Acre would also benefit from adopting a similar set of restrictions. First, there is no reason why Deerhaven Acre should need the restrictions on landscaping and housepainting, it is possible that houses in Deerhaven Acre have already looked good enough and organized enough. Restrictions may be totally unnecessary and may even risk causing the community to look monotonous. Second, Brookville adopted the restrictions seven years ago, and these restrictions might have only applied to the situations seven years ago and now everything is different. In addition, there may be other better ways to increase the property value of in Deerhaven Acre. For example, the community may focus on improve the community’s environment or public security which may be the factors which might actually have impeded the increase in property value.

In conclusion, without more thorough information about Deerhaven Acre, we cannot make sure what policy is the best for the community to implement to increase the property values in Deerhaven Acre.[还有最后一段， 如果到时候来不及结尾可以借鉴， 但还是最好这样：the author fails to…..To strengthen the conclusion, the arguer must…..To better assess this argument, we need mor information…..]


[总体上逻辑比较严格， 问题在于你的说理过程缺少一些标准的论证句式，这些可以在北美范文上看到。]

PsychocandyUID: 171159

谢谢你的修改和建议.

北美范文也有Argument吗?

我只有Issue的.

leonnieUID: 2216142

我买的是新东方的北美范文精讲