ISSUE103 【越洋农场战队】 第九次作业

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TOPIC: ISSUE103 - "The study of history has value only to the extent that it is relevant to our daily lives."
WORDS: 535       TIME: 0:50:00          DATE: 2006-7-28

休息不足……写的很烂啊

In contemporary society, with the development of technology and economy, we pay more attention to our daily lives rather than the days that have pasted for seeking more confident life and interests. But the study of history really became meaningless if it can not be relevant to our daily lives? In my point of view, maybe the answer to that question ought to be concluded after a case-by-case analysis.)

First and foremost, to study history may brought us some thing that never be obsolete and also influence our daily lives on almost every realms------- culture. Just consider the spells on an elder scroll, paintings from a king's tome or just a piece of cloth form an old body, all these, may be useless and get nothing to do with our daily lives, can told us what customs our ancients own and how the customs formed along the river of the time, then with these, we could find out where are our nowadays people's customs come from and contrast them and analyze, in order to solve a lot of social problems such as race conflict. Just like before we try solve the serious problems of Middle East, almost every aspect can return to one simple point-------history problem. May be these is not significant to us but seriously important to the people who suffer from the mean of war and death. So maybe some study of history could solve a series problems but not be relevant to our daily lives.

But it does not mean we could overwhelm spend more attention to the study of history which is not relevant to our daily lives. A lot of study of history is meaningless because they are study the thing that passed away, but form the logical aspect, every thing in this university is moving and changing-------the rules which be used to explain development of things such as history. We are in the changing history and the only thing we should do is to study nowadays and infer the future rather than some useless history because some of them can not catch the pace of the rapid changes of technological advance and society customs.

Moreover, for some developing countries which own a lot people who are still suffered form hungry and diseases, it is lack of humanity, maybe cruel, to pay their limited sources on the study of history. After all, the only thing which people force on mostly is living, is it hard to imagine how a hungry person still have any interests for some old things unearth from tome, or a piece of paper which like rubbish, all he need is a good meal or a rest rather than the relevance between his life and the history . So maybe such countries should pay more attention to their own people’s daily lives rather than studying history without care of their people’s lives.

All in all, with the factors we just discussed above, we could easily reach the point that maybe the study of history have some value but never overweight the human lives and it will became useless if it can not be used to help people have better lives or became out of date.

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In contemporary society, with the development of technology and economy, we pay more attention to our daily lives rather than the days that have pasted for seeking more confident life and interests. But the study of history really became meaningless if it can not be relevant to our daily lives?要这问号干吗 In my point of view, maybe the answer to that question ought时态 to be concluded after a case-by-case analysis.

First and foremost, to study history may brought us some thing加s that never be obsolete and also influence our daily lives on almost every realms------- culture. Just consider用分词形式 the spells on an elder scroll, paintings from a king's tome or just a piece of cloth form an old body, all these, may be useless and get nothing to do with our daily lives, can told us what customs our ancients own and how the customs formed along the river of the time两个谓语，一个变为从句或者用连接词并列, then with these, we could find out where are our nowadays people's customs come from and contrast them and analyze从句不倒装, in order to solve a lot of social problems such as race conflict. Just like before we try 加to solve the serious problems of Middle East, almost every aspect can return to one simple point-------history problem. May be中间不分开 these is not significant用名词 to us but seriously important to the people who suffer from the mean of war and death. So maybe这个词你用的太多，可以换换 perhaps in all likelihood等 some study of history could solve a series 少of problems but not be为啥用原形 relevant to our daily lives.

But it does not mean we could overwhelm spend两个动词 more attention to the study of history which is not relevant to our daily lives. A lot of study of history is meaningless because they are study the thing that passed away, but form the logical aspect, every thing in this university is moving and changing-------the rules which be used to explain development of things such as history. We are in the changing history and the only thing we should do is to study nowadays and infer the future rather than some useless history because some of them can not catch the pace of the rapid changes of technological advance and society customs句子的结构没有问题，但是在意思和逻辑表达上过于中国话，一般不仔细推敲很难理解你的意思，对于老外那就麻烦了。另外就是对你论点的支持上比较晦涩.

Moreover, for some developing countries which own a lot people who are still suffered form hungry and diseases, it is lack两个动词 of humanity, maybe cruel, to pay their limited sources on the study of history. After all, the only thing which people force on把on放在which前面 mostly is living, is it hard to imagine how a hungry person still have any interests for some old things unearth时态 from tome, or a piece of paper which like rubbish, all he need is a good meal or a rest rather than the relevance between his life and the history . So maybe such countries should pay more attention to their own people’s daily lives rather than studying history without care of their people’s lives.

All in all, with the factors we just discussed above, we could easily reach the point that maybe the study of history have some value but never overweight the human lives and it will became useless if it can not be used to help people have better lives or became out of date并列需要的时态.

结构上：根据我对你文章的理解，你在首段没有明确的提出你具体的观点，仅仅是说，这个问题的答案需要一番分析后得出，这是不可取的，应该很明确的对你所持的观点有个说明，然后针对其进行下面的论证。
语言上：时态错误严重，用词过于简单重复，没有较好的闪光句子，里面几个长句在结构上没有问题，可是在逻辑意思上有很大的含糊，属于中国人的思维。
最后：其实我们不必过于的追求字数多，首先要做好的是文章的论证结构和句子铺垫，在文章有了这些良好的基础上再追求速度才是可取的。

个人意见仅供参考。

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楼上的观点确实是我的软肋
虽然不甘心，但是确实存在那样的问题
^_^虚心接受，表示感谢