argument117 [smie] 第六次作业

yxjessieUID: 194526

TOPIC: ARGUMENT117 - The following is a memo from the business manager of Valu-Mart stores.

"Over 70 percent of the respondents to a recent survey reported that they are required to take more work home with them from the workplace than they were in the past. Since Valu-Mart has not seen impressive sales in its office-supply departments in the past, we should take advantage of this work-at-home trend by increasing at all Valu-Mart stores the stock of home office machines such as printers, small copy machines, paper shredders, and fax machines. We will also increase stock of office supplies such as paper, pens, and staplers. With these changes, our office-supply departments will become the most profitable component of our stores."
WORDS: 427          TIME: 0:30:00          DATE: 2006-8-3

According to the reasons listed above, the author concludes that the office-supply departments will make lots of profits through increasing stock of goods related to home office needs since more and more people are tend to work at their house. The conclusion is sound at the first glance. However, the author still overlooks several aspects before making such a decision.

First of all, there is no information included in the argument the how many people were asked of the survey. Only 70 percent of the respondents' answers might not be representative of the most people if the survey just asks 10 or 20 persons. Furthermore, we do not know the working pattern of these respondents in the past. Maybe they seldom or even never worked at home before. So, although they now spend more time at home, the time in office is still much longer.

Secondly, even people indeed spend more working time at home, even more than which they spend in office, there is no guarantee that they need to purchase more home-office machines. Perhaps they already own those machines at home, or perhaps their companies sponsor them these machines as a compensation of more working time.

Last but not least, the author asserts that with the more stock of home office machines and office supplies, the office-supply departments will become the most profitable one in the stores. But it is unconvinced saying most profitable without the conditions of other departments of the stores. Perhaps there are departments such as clothing department or food department are experiencing a highly development of the broaden markets which allow them to gain lower costs and higher revenue, and as a result achieving more profit that the office-supply departments. The author also overlook the costs of home office machines and other supplies since the increasing needs might leads to higher prices of the material used to making the products. The increasing needs will also probably attract more suppliers to sold such goods so that there might be more sellers in the market which might harm the share of markets by the Valu-mart, even the prices of such products might decrease for the seller's competence.

Before making a decision on whether to store more home office machine and related supplies, the author needs to provide more information about the needs of the market. Before the conclusion on which department will be the most profitable in Valu-Mart stores, the manager needs to know the possible future market of home-office machines and supplies and the profit condition of other department of the store.

zhy5186612UID: 2167373

该我改你文章的时候你没交 这次补上哈；你写东西太快了
According to the reasons listed above, the author concludes that the office-supply departments will make lots of profits through increasing stock of goods related to home office needs since more and more people are [are可以不要] tend to work at their house[at home]. The conclusion is sound at the first glance. However, the author still overlooks several aspects before making such a decision.

First of all, there is no information included in the argument the [ the 删除] how many people were asked of the survey. Only 70 percent of the respondents' answers might not be representative of the most people if the survey just asks 10 or 20 persons. Furthermore, we do not know the working pattern of these respondents in the past. Maybe they seldom or even never worked at home before. So, although they now spend more time at home, the time in office is still much longer.

Secondly, even people indeed spend more working time at home, even more than which they spend in office, there is no guarantee that they need to purchase more home-office machines. Perhaps they already own those machines at home, or perhaps their companies sponsor them these machines as a compensation of more working time.[后面这一句欠考虑，公司花钱也是商店赚吧？而且最后最好有个小结的句子]

Last but not least, the author asserts that with the more stock of home office machines and office supplies, the office-supply departments will become the most profitable one in the stores. But it is unconvinced saying most profitable without the conditions of other departments of the stores. Perhaps there are departments such as clothing department or food department are experiencing a highly development of the broaden markets which allow them to gain lower costs and higher revenue, and as a result achieving more profit that [than] the office-supply departments. The author also overlook the costs of home office machines and other supplies since the increasing needs might leads to higher prices of the material used to making the products [这个有点牵强]. The increasing needs will also probably attract more suppliers to sold such goods so that there might be more sellers in the market which might harm the share of markets by the Valu-mart, even the prices of such products might decrease for the seller's competence.

Before making a decision on whether to store more home office machine and related supplies, the author needs to provide more information about the needs of the market. Before the conclusion on which department will be the most profitable in Valu-Mart stores, the manager needs to know the possible future market of home-office machines and supplies and the profit condition of other department of the store.
1 逻辑找的挺好的，我的和你一样只是攻击顺序相反
2 正文每段最后最好写一个句子小结
你限时写的阿，比较厉害哈 :victory: