Issue38 米国有米小组第一次作业 请猛批吧~~~~~

ernest81888UID: 2247639

38 "In the age of television, reading books is not as important as it once was. People can learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books."

Outline:
1.       Segmentation (A): in some condition, it is still important for reading books in the age of television
l          Reason (1): reading books can be necessary in some condition, while television can not.
²         Proof example—compared with television, books is more portable; what’s more, television needs electricity working.
l          Reason (2): Reading books has more selectivity than watching TV.
²         Proof example---when the time, people want to learn something from TV, while television might not be satisfy his willing.

2.                   Segmentation (B): People might not learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books
l          Reason (1): Television might not provide all the field of knowledge.
l          Reason (2): For different people, they learn from television are different.
²         Proof example---children watch TV always by fun, the knowledge they learned from TV can not as much as adult.


The speaker makes a threshold claim that reading books is not as important as it once was in the age of television, and then concludes that one can absorb knowledge as much by watching television as he can by reading books. In my view this statement is too extreme, I concede that television might provides us more direct-view of subject or more effective of conjoining sounds and views, which might give people more fun, but, when it comes to learning, television still can not substitute for books.

Turning first to the speaker’s threshold claim, I can not wholly agree with his opinion. Above all, in some condition, reading books is necessary and convenient for people. For example, a symphony orchestra are playing symphony, the best way here is , provide each of them with a different score. Consider that, if only television is available, does it seem too inconvenient or even strange to play the game? If so, each television must be selectively programmed first for each one. Secondly, television set are power supplied, it can not work when people meet a power off.

Another reason to make the speaker’s claim stainless is that people are always objected by television, while reading books are not, To say it normally, television is not programmed by people themselves , it is set by some certain person worked in TV station. So if someday, one needs to get something useful from television, but unfortunately , all the channel provide him only with advertisement. I don’t think he can get what he really needs.

As for the speaker’s ultimate claim, my view is, television might give people some general knowledge, but in the particular field like mathematic, engineering and so on, television is made for common people, it can not cover all the knowledge in the entire field, there must be some kind of knowledge limited for some groups. As for these groups, television can not satisfy their needs, they should turn to books. In second place, I think different kind of people can get different information from TV, but the quantity and quality they got are not equal, For example, compared with adults, children may always give more attention on the fun from television, but not actually the knowledge. So what the speaker said here is too extreme.

To sum up, television takes advantage in giving people direct-view, however, in some condition, it also has some disadvantage. Accordingly, in television age, the best way for us to get information and knowledge is to combine using the two kinds of learning skills, not only one-sidedness.

aefiterUID: 2134740

The speaker makes a threshold claim that reading books is not as important as it once was in the age of television, and then concludes that one can absorb knowledge as much by watching television as he can by reading books. In my view this statement is too extreme, I concede that television might providesprovide us more direct-view of subject, and television may be more effective of conjoining sounds and views, which might give people more fun,; but, when it comes to learning, television still can not substitute for books.
when it comes to learning, however, television still cannot substitute for books.


Turning first to the speaker’sthe threshold claim用法好像不多见, I can not wholly agree with histhe speaker's opinion. Above all, in some condition,放在句尾好一些 reading books is necessary and convenient for people.最好在举例之前将观点说清楚，这样文章也有利于写长 For example, while a symphony orchestra areis playing symphony, the best way here is ,to provide each of themthese performers with a differentthere own score. Consider that, if only表达自己的wish television is available, does it seem too inconvenient or even strange to play the game? If so, each television must be selectively programmed first for each one. Secondly, television set are power suppliedpower-supplied, it can not work when people meet a power off.power outage最好能有个结尾，这样一段话就完整了

Another reason to make the speaker’s claim stainless完美的？ is that people are always objected by television, while reading books are not,. To say it normally,generally speaking television is not programmed by people themselves ,; rather, it is set created, organized, presented, 总之，不要总用类似万能的动词by some certain persons worked in TV station. So if someday, one needs to get something useful from television, but unfortunately , all the channel provide him only with advertisement.这句话不完整 I don’t think he can get what he really needs.

As for the speaker’s ultimate claim, my view is, television might give people some general knowledge, but in the particular field like mathematic, engineering and so on, television is made for common people, it can not cover all the knowledge in the entire field, there must be some kind of knowledge limitedbelonging, 也不恰当， for some groups. As for these groups, television can not satisfy their needs, 不能用逗号they should turn to books. In the second place, I think different kinds of people can get different information from TV, but the quantity and quality they got are not equal,. For example, compared with adults,不要将两个成分放在主句前 children may always givepay more attention onto the fun from television, but not actually the knowledge. So what the speaker said here is too extreme.

To sum up, television takes advantage这个词组是 利用 in giving people direct-viewdirect/immediate view, however, in some condition, it also has some disadvantages. Accordingly, in television age, the best way for us to get information and knowledge is to combine  using del the two kinds of learning skills, but not only one-sidedness.

总结，语言表达不是很准确，get 用得太多。另外，尽量少用逗号断句，应为很多断点是多余的。要尽量用长句表达。当然也不要太长（接受意见）。
内容上，全片都是不赞同的观点，应该稍微平衡一点，有支持，又反对，每段的意图鲜明。每段的例子，展开得不好，草草结尾。可能是语言方面受到限制。我觉得，多背一些新概念之类的（惭愧我没怎么背过），会迅速提高语感。

[ 本帖最后由 aefiter 于 2006-11-17 13:20 编辑 ]

ntmlgszUID: 2235666

Issue38 米国有米小组第一次作业

38 "In the age of television, reading books is not as important as it once was. People can learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books."

The speaker makes a threshold (noun) claim that reading books is not as important as it once was in the age of television, and then concludes that one can absorb knowledge as much by watching television as he can by reading books. In my view this statement is too extreme, (+一个but) I concede that television might(may) provides(provide) us more direct-view of subject or more effective of(去掉of 用effectively) conjoining sounds and views, which might(may) give people more fun, (重新起一句,去掉but,用However)but, when it comes to learning, television still can not substitute for books.(个人认为应该迎合主题：电视带来的知识不能和书本一样多，而且书本更多。而不是电视不能代替书本)

Turning first to the speaker’s threshold claim, I can not wholly agree with his opinion. Above all, in some condition, reading books is necessary and convenient for people. For example, a symphony orchestra (这两个都是名词) are playing symphony, the best way here is , provide each of them with a different score.(这句话什么意思？)Consider that, if only television is available, does it seem too inconvenient or even strange to play the game? If so, each television must be selectively programmed first for each one. Secondly, television set are power supplied, it can not work when people meet a power off.

Another reason to make the speaker’s claim stainless is that people are always objected by television, while reading books are not,(改为 not by reading books) To say it normally(直接用Normally), television is not programmed by people themselves , it is set by some certain person(复数) worked in TV station. So if someday, one needs to get something useful from television, but unfortunately , all the channel provide him only with advertisement. I don’t think he can get what he really needs.(对于电视台工作人员和广告之间应该有一个过度说明)

                              

As for the speaker’s ultimate claim, my view is,（不要逗号） television might give people some general knowledge, but in the particular field like mathematic, engineering and so on(在特殊的领域里面怎么样了呢？说明一下啊), (最好重新开始一句)television is made for common people, it(复数they) can not cover all the knowledge in the entire field(复数+s), (+and)there must be some kind of knowledge limited for some groups. As for these groups, television can not satisfy their needs, (怎么两个主语they ,television)they should turn to books. In second place, I think different kind(复数+s) of people can get different information from TV, but the quantity and(去掉) quality they got are not equal, For example, compared with adults, children may always give more attention on the fun from television, but not actually the knowledge. So what the speaker said here is too extreme.

                                          

To sum up, television takes (has) advantage in giving people direct-view, however, in some condition, it also has some disadvantage(复数+s). Accordingly, in television age, the best way for us to get information and knowledge is to combine using the two kinds of learning skills, not only one-sidedness

总的来说表达主题不算特别明确，有些地方论证不充分例子比较牵强，有些断句不对。各段的收尾都不是很好，使得每段连接不紧密。

不过还是有亮点：提纲写的很好，以后多多努力。加油

[ 本帖最后由 ntmlgsz 于 2006-11-18 16:25 编辑 ]