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[i习作temp] Issue31 【CSMY作文互改第四小组】第五次作业--第一次写上600字 [复制链接]

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发表于 2007-1-16 16:25:29 |显示全部楼层
ISSUE31 - "Money spent on research is almost always a good investment, even when the results of that research are controversial."
WORDS: 536          TIME: 上午 01:10:00          DATE: 2007-1-16
Second edition: 676 words
Position:不管其结果是否会引起争论,只要有利于社会和人类,就是值得的
1.       任何事物都有很多用处,钱也不列外,关键是看怎么利用
2.       辨证的看待为何引起争论a. 当时不适合 b.其后果会危害社会核人类

Is all the money spent on research worthwhile regardless of the controversial consequences of that research? The speaker claims so without providing any reasons to support it. However, in my opinion, money that is spent on the research projects that would enhance the development of scientific technology and the well-being of society is laudable, while money spent on research that would conduce to harmful consequences to society should be forbidden.

To begin with, everything has its functions on many respects in the world. It is critical for us human being how to make use of it. Taking money discussed in the issue as example, money can be invested to construct high way in order to mitigate the traffic jam problem, to fine art museum in order to enhance the aesthetic perception level of people, or to scientific research as well as wars. Admittedly, to some degree money spent on research is a good investment comparing with those courses of action that money was used on wars. First of all, no matter whatever the ultimate goal of research is , research after all is aimed to explore the unknown which we human races are eager to learn and to make contributions to the development of social and technological development. So when commencing a series of research, researchers usually bear best wishes in the mind. In this sense, the speaker’s assertion is to give no cause for more criticism. Maybe the consequences of research will contribute to advance our knowledge and promote the development of science. Maybe the action of research itself will result in controversial effects to society. According to this, if investors have known that research will bring about ambiguous influences to society, they should consider the effects following the research and then make a new decision about whether that research is deserved to funding.

Nevertheless, investors should not refrain themselves from allocating money to research for fearing that research might lead to disputable effects. As a matter of fact, the controversial research can be divided into two distinct type of research, one of which will benefit the future but for now seems unnecessary, the other of which will engender serious consequences which are detrimental to society. Firstly, let us take the solar energy cell as an example, in the 1960s, although at that time almost every person believed that solar energy is a kind of energy that produces zero-pollution and can be used as substitute for the fossil energy, when it comes to the issue whether investors should invest great amount of money to research how to develop and make use of that kind of energy, there were many controversial debates about it. Many insightful scientists thought the investment on solar energy research is of great significance for the future generation, even at that time they could not design a kind of solar energy cell employed by users; while many socialists thought that there was a long way to go for developing energy whose results for at that time have little influences to society and money should be invested to solve the immediate social problems such as unemployment and adolescent crimes. However, considering the fact that nowadays the world is bothered by the energy crisis, the money that have been invested on the research of energy is so correct albeit at that time it gave rise to controversy. Secondly, if the original aim of research is to endanger human races, for instance, research about the bio-chemical weapons, so the investment is not beneficial to society, but harmful to society and human beings. Another example with wide-spreading discussion is the human cloning. If those researchers immersed themselves to human cloning make success, which will bring about many moral and ethical problems to society such as killing the embryos and harming the values of society.

To sum up, for the question of money spent on research, as long as research will not be made use of to harm society and human being, even that research may bring about controversy at that time, the investment is still laudable.

[ 本帖最后由 ctex 于 2007-1-16 17:02 编辑 ]

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发表于 2007-1-16 22:25:17 |显示全部楼层
Is all the money spent on research worthwhile regardless of the controversial consequences of that research? The speaker claims so without providing any reasons to support it.(好像argument的开头) However, in my opinion, money that is spent on the research projects that would enhance the development of scientific technology and the well-being of society is laudable, while money spent on research that would conduce to harmful consequences to society should be forbidden.(money...forbidden这个搭配有点怪)

To begin with, everything has its functions on many respects (这句话中文的味道很重,而且不是那么有力和清楚)in the world. It is critical for us human being (know? learn?) how to make use of it. Taking money discussed in the issue as example, money can be invested to construct high way in order to mitigate the traffic jam problem, to fine art museum in order to enhance the aesthetic perception level of people, or to scientific research as well as wars. Admittedly, to some degree money spent on research is a good investment comparing with those courses of action that money was used on wars. First of all, no matter whatever the ultimate goal of research is , research after all is aimed to explore the unknown which we human races are eager to learn and to make contributions to the development of social and technological development. So when commencing a series of research, researchers usually bear best wishes in the mind. In this sense, the speaker’s assertion is to give no cause for more criticism. Maybe the consequences of research will contribute to advance our knowledge and promote the development of science. Maybe the action of research itself will result in controversial effects to society. According to this, if investors have known that research will bring about ambiguous influences to society, they should consider the effects following the research and then make a new decision about whether that research is deserved to funding.(这段涉及的内容似乎太杂了:money的用处,research结果的不确定性,investor的决策。三者之间虽然有一定的联系,但合在一段写显得很混乱,没有一个中心)

Nevertheless, investors should not refrain themselves from allocating money to research for fearing that research might lead to disputable effects. As a matter of fact, the controversial research can be divided into two distinct type of research, one of which will benefit the future but for now seems unnecessary, the other of which will engender serious consequences which are detrimental to society(这个归纳好!). Firstly, let us take the solar energy cell as an example, in the 1960s, although at that time almost every person believed that solar energy is a kind of energy that produces zero-pollution and can be used as substitute for the fossil energy, when it comes to the issue whether investors should invest great amount of money to research how to develop and make use of that kind of energy, there were many controversial debates about it. Many insightful scientists thought the investment on solar energy research is of great significance for the future generation, even at that time they could not design a kind of solar energy cell employed by users; while many socialists thought that there was a long way to go for developing energy whose results for at that time have little influences to society and money should be invested to solve the immediate social problems such as unemployment and adolescent crimes. However, considering the fact that nowadays the world is bothered by the energy crisis, the money that have been invested on the research of energy is so correct albeit at that time it gave rise to controversy. (例子有一定的说服力,但有点罗嗦了,适当简化一下,之后加点总结,这样会更compelling些)
Secondly, if the original aim of research is to endanger human races, for instance, research about the bio-chemical weapons, so the investment is not beneficial to society, but harmful to society and human beings. Another example with wide-spreading discussion is the human cloning. If those researchers immersed themselves to human cloning make success, which will bring about many moral and ethical problems to society such as killing the embryos and harming the values of society.(单看段落的平衡,first那么长,second这么短,有点头重脚轻的感觉。而且这么多内容放在一个段落里面太不清晰了)

To sum up, for the question of money spent on research, as long as research will not be made use of to (used to就行了吧)harm society and human being, even that research may bring about controversy(在前面你已经指出controversy有两种了,但在这里似乎偏向指后一种,但是并没有说明) at that time, the investment is still laudable.

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RE: Issue31 【CSMY作文互改第四小组】第五次作业--第一次写上600字 [修改]

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Issue31 【CSMY作文互改第四小组】第五次作业--第一次写上600字
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