Argument25 恳请互拍

laijunUID：2257574

Argument25 恳请互拍
The following appeared in a memo from the mayor of the town of Hopewell.

"Two years ago, the town of Ocean View built a new municipal golf course and resort hotel. During the past two years, tourism in Ocean View has increased, new businesses have opened there, and Ocean View's tax revenues have risen by 30 percent. The best way to improve Hopewell's economy, and generate additional tax revenues, is to build a golf course and resort hotel similar to those in Ocean View."

By making a comparison of the town of Ocean View, which built a new municipal golf course and resort hotel two years ago and therefore the improvement of economy, with the town of Hopewell, an area without golf course and resort hotel and consequently the less developed economy, the mayor's conclusion seems logical at first glance. However, a further examination would find how vulnerable the argument is.

First of all, the mayor fails to consider other alternatives that would improve Ocean View's economy. Such alternatives may include the new policy, such as lower tax, promulgated by the government in order to attract businessmen who come to invest in the town. However, Hopewell did not do anything to make businessmen feel that they can get profit from the town. In addition, the mayor also fails to consider other buildings that Ocean View built two years ago besides golf course and resort hotel for economy. MaybeOcean View built a university two years ago therefore many students went there for study. At the same time, it is possible that Hopewell also built a school; nevertheless, it’s a high school which only admits local students. It appears reasonable; therefore, Hopewell's economy would not be improved regardless of golf course and resort hotel.

Moreover, even if the golf course and resort hotel is the main factor affected the economy of Ocean View, the mayor ignores the geographical differences between Hopewell and Ocean View. MaybeOcean View has a natural beauty that appeals to tourists and the golf course and resort hotel make more tourists visit there, therefore, the tax revenues added. However, Hopewell is not a place for tourism or maybe it’s a place good for industry but not for resort. Furthermore, it is possible that Ocean View has a good traffic which makes the tourism in the town is well developed. However, on the contrast, it is possible that Hopewell’s traffic is so bad that people have difficult in making a tour.

Sum up, the reason the mayor presented in the memo seems logical since he represents the interest of his own town. However, before any final decision are made about building a golf course and resort hotel, he need to evaluate all possible causes which improve Hopewell’s economy. Otherwise, it may be a waste of money.

engmaUID：2172923

今天太晚了，明个儿一定回拍
你拍我，我拍你～～：）

engmaUID：2172923

By making a comparison of the town of Ocean View, which built a new municipal golf course and resort hotel two years ago and therefore少动词 the improvement of economypromote economy, with the town of Hopewell, an area without golf course and resort hotel and consequently the less developed economy描述不准确，题目里没说有没有, the mayor's conclusion seems logical at first glance.句子比较长，可以分一下 However, a further examination would find how vulnerable the argument is.我认为直接说AG逻辑上有漏洞即可，表达上可以再变换一下。我认为在叙述speaker's statement时，应尽可能保持其本意，这样下面才好攻击


First of all, the mayor fails to consider other alternatives that would improve Ocean View's economy. Such alternatives may include the the去掉new policy, such as lower tax, promulgated by the government in order to attract businessmen who come to invest in the town. However, Hopewell did not do anything to make businessmen feel that they can get profit from the town. In addition, the mayor also fails to consider other buildings that Ocean View built two years ago besides golf course and resort hotel for economy. 这里表达的过于含糊，我想你是想说除了通过build golf course and resort hotel改善旅游业，进而改善O市经济外，还有其他的方面促进经济增长，比如提供良好的高等教育设施和服务MaybeOcean View built a university two years ago therefore many students went there for study. At the same time, it is possible that Hopewell also built a school; nevertheless, it’s a high school which only admits local students. It appears reasonable; therefore, Hopewell's economy would not be improved regardless of golf course and resort hotel.表述不准确

Moreover, even if the golf course and resort hotel is the main factor affected the economy of Ocean View, the mayor ignores the geographical differences between Hopewell and Ocean View. MaybeOcean View has a natural beauty that appeals to tourists and the golf course and resort hotel make more tourists visit there, therefore, the tax revenues added. However, Hopewell is not a place for tourism or maybe it’s a place good for industry but not for resort.表述不准确 Furthermore, it is possible that Ocean View has a good traffic which makes the tourism in the town is well developed. However, on the contrast, it is possible that Hopewell’s traffic is so bad that people have difficult in making a tour.

Sum up, To sum upthe reason the mayor presented in the memo seems logical since he represents the interest of his own town. However, before any final decision are made about building a golf course and resort hotel, he need to evaluate all possible causes which improve Hopewell’s economy. Otherwise, it may be a waste of money.这篇文章有两个典型的错误，一个将两件先后次序的事情认为是因果关系，至少speaker缺少证据说明这一点；再一个就是错误类比，当然你也是把握住这两点来说的

文中还有些语法错误应避免，语言描述上还不够精准，过于口语化了，你可以多看些模板，总结一下，至少再还没办法弩驾语言之前，能使文章的结构严谨些。＋＋＋＋UUU

laijunUID：2257574

谢谢,以后一定改进