ARGUMENT29 AW superman by billfigo head for 6

billfigoUID: 2264887

TOPIC: ARGUMENT29 - When Ida McAllister ran for mayor of Lake City four
years ago, she failed to win even 30 percent of the vote. But since then,
McAllister has made public her commitment to environmental causes. She would
be wise, therefore, to announce her intention to close all Lake City parks
to automobile traffic, thus following the example of the former mayor of
Plainsville, Alecia Yu . On the recommendation of a small group of concerned
citizens, Mayor Yu prohibited automobile traffic in all Plainsville parks,
and therefore was credited with solving the pollution problem and improving
the quality of life in Plainsville. This action would have great appeal to
the citizens of Lake City, most of whom participate in the community's
recycling program, and would guarantee McAllister's success in her current
quest to be Lake City's new mayor.
WORDS: 451          TIME: 上午 12:30:00          DATE: 2007-3-12

In the argument, the arguer recommend that Ida McAllister should close all
Lake City parks to automobile traffic , in order to guarantee her success in
her current quest to  be Lake City's new mayor. To substantiate the argument
, the evidence provided in the analysis is that the former mayor of
Plainsville , Alecia Yu,  was credited with solving the pollution problem
and improving the quality of life in Plainsville, due to her policy that
prohibited automobile traffic in all parks of Plainsville. However, as it
stands, the analysis suffers from several critical fallacies, which might
seriously undermine the argument.

To begin with, the arguer fails to convince us that Mayor Yu was admired for
her solving the pollution problem and improving the quality of life in
Plainsville. For one thing , the people who gave her the recommendation is
just a small group of concerned citizens, which we might doubt the real
effect of the policy and the real evaluation of the public . For another,
the pollution problem is related to many factors in the city, especially the
industry waste, water pollution , not just the air pollution of automobile
in the parks. Moreover, since the economic growth rate and unemployment rate
are the basic factors that influence the quality of life ,  we could not
judge the real  effects of the policy without any more details .

Secondly, even if the policy of mayor of Plainsville works in the city,
there still is doubts that whether it will work in Lake City, without the
insightful investigation. Perhaps, the main pollution in Lake City is not
the air pollution caused by automibles, which will means the policy would
has little effect on the improvement of environment in Lake City. Or perhaps, only close parks to automobile traffic is not enough , and we have put up a more strict
regulation on the automobile traffic.

Finally, without taking the alternative ways to influence the election  into
account, the arguer hastily  and misleadingly claims that the action would
guarantee McAllister 's success in her current quest to be Lake City's new
mayor.  Significantly, we have to point out that it is possible for other
candidates raise the same environmental protection policy.

To sum up, the argument lacks credibility because the evidences provided in
the argument do not substantially support what the arguer claims. To enhance
the argument , the arguer should provide more evidences that  the policy
that close the parks in Lake City to automobile traffic will definitely
reduce the environmental pollution in Lake City. To better evaluate the
analysis , we need more information regarding  the situations of the
election of the mayor in Lake City ,not only McAllister's ,but also other
candidates'.

simahuiUID: 2208751

ARGUMENT29 AW superman by billfigo head for 6

TOPIC: ARGUMENT29 - When Ida McAllister ran for mayor of Lake City four
years ago, she failed to win even 30 percent of the vote. But since then,
McAllister has made public her commitment to environmental causes. She would
be wise, therefore, to announce her intention to close all Lake City parks
to automobile traffic, thus following the example of the former mayor of
Plainsville, Alecia Yu . On the recommendation of a small group of concerned
citizens, Mayor Yu prohibited automobile traffic in all Plainsville parks,
and therefore was credited with solving the pollution problem and improving
the quality of life in Plainsville. This action would have great appeal to
the citizens of Lake City, most of whom participate in the community's
recycling program, and would guarantee McAllister's success in her current
quest to be Lake City's new mayor.
WORDS: 451          TIME: 上午 12:30:00          DATE: 2007-3-12

In the argument, the arguer recommend that Ida McAllister should close all
Lake City parks to automobile traffic, in order to guarantee her success in
her current quest to  be Lake City's new mayor. To substantiate the argument
, the evidence provided in the analysis is that the former mayor of
Plainsville , Alecia Yu,  was credited with solving the pollution problem
and improving the quality of life in Plainsville, due to her policy that
prohibited automobile traffic in all parks of Plainsville. However, as it
stands, the analysis suffers from several critical fallacies, which might
seriously undermine the argument. 觉得开头比较啰嗦，没起到积极的作用

To begin with, the arguer fails to convince us that Mayor Yu was admired for

题目中已经说了这个事实（therefore was credited with solving the pollution

problem and improving the quality of life in Plainsville.）
her solving the pollution problem and improving the quality of life in
Plainsville. For one thing , the people who gave her the recommendation is
just a small group of concerned citizens, which we might doubt the real
effect of the policy and the real evaluation of the public . For another,
the pollution problem is related to many factors in the city, especially the
industry waste, water pollution , not just the air pollution of automobile
in the parks. Moreover, since the economic growth rate and unemployment rate
are the basic factors that influence the quality of life ,  we could not
judge the real  effects of the policy without any more details .

你想说的应该是：公园禁车不是前市长成功的充分条件吧，但是你没有表达清楚
Secondly, even if the policy of mayor of Plainsville works in the city,
there still is doubts that whether it will work in Lake City, without the
insightful investigation. Perhaps, the main pollution in Lake City is not
the air pollution caused by automibles, which will means the policy would
has little effect on the improvement of environment in Lake City. Or perhaps,

only close parks to automobile traffic is not enough , and we have加个to put up a more strict
regulation on the automobile traffic.

Finally, without taking the alternative ways to influence改为从句较好the election  into
account, the arguer hastily  and misleadingly claims that the action would
guarantee McAllister 's success in her current quest to be Lake City's new
mayor.  Significantly, we have to point out that it is possible for other
candidates raise the same environmental protection policy. 关于alternative ways 没有展开

To sum up, the argument lacks credibility because the evidences provided in
the argument do not substantially support what the arguer claims. To enhance
the argument , the arguer should provide more evidences that  the policy
that close the parks in Lake City to automobile traffic will definitely
reduce the environmental pollution in Lake City. To better evaluate the
analysis , we need more information regarding  the situations of the
election of the mayor in Lake City ,not only McAllister's ,but also other
candidates'.

觉得没有紧紧地抓住文章的漏洞进行批判，推荐你看一篇文章，下贴附上

simahuiUID: 2208751

例文：from testmagic:
45.The following appeared as an editorial in a wildlife journal.
"Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic region. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of a year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed, and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining. Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the decline in arctic deer populations is the result of deer being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea."
    The above argument is relatively sound; however, close scrutiny of the evidence reveals that it accomplishes little toward supporting the author's claim, as discussed below.
    Firstly, the argument is based on the assumption that arctic deer, in search of food, meanders from island to island. However, no evidence has been cited to substantiate this assumption. Lacking this, it is entirely possible that the arctic deer look for its food in a single island. And if this holds true, the editorial becomes unwarranted.
    Secondly, even if deer move from one island to another island, the author claims that there is a decline in the deer population on the basis of reports documented by hunters. However, in the journal no evidence has been provided about the accuracy of local hunters report. Perhaps the hunters came to such a conclusion on the basis of their observation only. Without considering the tools used by local hunters for making the report, it cannot be inferred that there is an actual decrease in Arctic deer species.
    Even if it is assumed that the deer population is dwindling, the argument further relies on an additional assumption that this decline is owing to global warming. Perhaps there is a scarcity of vegetation on which the deer survives. Or perhaps the spree hunting by local hunters is the actual cause behind this decline. Without ruling out these possible explanations for the decrease of deer species, the author cannot justify the conclusion that global warming is the factor responsible for this.
    Finally, the author asserts that deer fails in following their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea because of the melting of sea. Yet, no evidence has been provided to justify the author's assertion. For that case, perhaps the deer develop a liking for the new environment and they don't basically migrate back.
    In sum, to make this argument persuasive, the author needs to provide clear evidence that the migration of deer take place. The author must also show that local hunter report is accurate, and the other possible factor responsible for the decline in Arctic deer population.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
评判：by Erin Billy
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by bubble
The above argument is relatively sound; however, close scrutiny of the evidence reveals that it accomplishes little toward supporting the author's claim, as discussed I will discuss below.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
       The argument is either sound or it is not; your intro slightly contradicts itself and therefore makes a bad first impression.
quote: --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by bubble
Firstly, the argument is based on the assumption that arctic deer, in search of food, meanders from island to island. However, no evidence has been cited to substantiate this assumption.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    No, this is incorrect. Look at the essay prompt:   
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of a year.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
     The word "meander" is used somewhat incorrectly, and is awkward here. BTW, "deer" here is plural.  
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by bubble
Lacking this, it is entirely possible that the arctic deer look for its food in a single island. And if this holds true, the editorial becomes unwarranted.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
   See above.   
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by bubble
Secondly, even if deer move from one island to another island, the author claims that there is a decline in the deer population on the basis of reports documented by hunters. However, in the journal no evidence has been provided about the accuracy of local hunters report. Perhaps the hunters came to such a conclusion on the basis of their observation only. Without considering the tools used by local hunters for making the report, it cannot be inferred that there is an actual decrease in Arctic deer species.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
     注意：这一点就是我想强调的： Yes, this is possible, but usually ETS wants us to accept that the presented info is true; in other words, it's best to assume the information is reliable unless of course the reported information could be faulted in the way it was gathered.     
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by bubble
Even if it is assumed that the deer population is dwindling, the argument further relies on an additional assumption that this decline is owing to global warming. Perhaps there is a scarcity of vegetation on which the deer survives. Or perhaps the spree hunting by local hunters is the actual cause behind this decline. Without ruling out these possible explanations for the decrease of deer species, the author cannot justify the conclusion that global warming is the factor responsible for this.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    IMO, this is the major flaw of the argument; you should expand on this..   
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by bubble
Finally, the author asserts that deer fails in following their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea because of the melting of sea. Yet, no evidence has been provided to justify the author's assertion. For that case, perhaps the deer develop a liking for the new environment and they don't basically migrate back..
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    注意了！！！
Again, the prompt says that the sea ice has melted, so we can assume for our essay that this has really happened.
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by bubble
In sum, to make this argument persuasive, the author needs to provide clear evidence that the migration of deer take place. The author must also show that local hunter report is accurate, and the other possible factor responsible for the decline in Arctic deer population.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
   Score: 4.0/6.0
Priyanka,
You write very well, and have good grammar, spelling, and formatting, and obviously have a good grasp of logic and argumentation. The problem seems to be that you are a bit confused about what GRE is looking for. If you corrected the problems I noted above, you'd likely get a 5.0 or better.

billfigoUID: 2264887

simahui  非常感谢你的批评。

关于alternative ways 没有展开 的问题是因为时间，自己实在太差了。

“题目中已经说了这个事实” 的问题，的确，自己以后应该注意，   第一点主要是应该攻击政策在P城市的成功，考虑第一点写小部分人一件不能全面反映全市人的意见，环境只在公园，对 城市的整体影响如何？  全市的环境、生活质量受很多因素印象，城市建设，交通，环保